Confessions of a Cereal Mother: True Stories to Let Every Mother Know She's Not Alone in the Craziness

by Rachel McClellan

In this humorous memoir you’ll discover several mind-saving rules, which include:

- Don’t throw your pregnancy test away before the full three minutes is up.

- Unless there is a rush on the grocery store pending a zombie-virus outbreak, never take your kids shopping.

- If your toddler is going to chew on a Band-Aid, hope it’s one found inside the community swimming pools chlorinated pool and not one found in their locker room.

- Never throw up in a cookie sheet.

- Things can always get worse. You could discover your child playing with a used tampon applicator. It’s not a whistle, sweetie.

- And most importantly, the moment one of your children is seriously ill, forget about everything else. You have the greatest honor in the world – being a Mom.

208 pages, Paperback

First published March 12, 2013

About the author

Rachel lives in New Hampshire, a place secretly known for its supernatural creatures. When she's not in her writing lair, she's partying with her husband and four children. Her love for storytelling began as a child when the moon first possessed the night. For when the lights went out, her imagination painted a whole new world. And what a scary world it was…

Reviews

[Aimee]

When I read the blurb for this book I just knew I would love it. That's because all of those things have been me in some variation or another. Vomit, poop, tampons, shopping with kids... oh, the stories I could tell. I feel like if Rachel and I sat down and compared and shared stories, we would be instant friends.

Well, except that I've never thrown up in a cookie sheet. She gets the gold star for that one. :) Oh, and the whole strip down and jump on the couch thing? Another gold star for Rachel.

If you are a mother you are going to relate to this book. Life with kids can be insane. Draining. Emotional. Disgusting. Hard. Stressful. Funny. Sweet.

I love how this book starts off so funny. I was literally simultaneously laughing and gagging in disgust. Reliving my own memories, I guess.

Then I am brought to another place where I relate to the angry monster mom who sometimes (more often than I want it to) comes out.

And then I am taken to the place where everything changes because my child is in a place where life is no longer taken for granted. Hospitals, MRI's, needles (so many needles) and a very sad baby that is hurting and I am left helpless. Yup. I've been there. I still have to go there on occasion and it always hurts.

But, that's what being a mom is. Right? I wouldn't trade it. (well, in this minute I wouldn't trade it. Wait until the kids come home from school and I might change my mind.)

This book is so easy to read and so easy to relate to. It sure is nice to know I'm not alone in the craziness that is motherhood. Thanks Rachel for letting me read and review your book. I loved it.

[Shauna]

I haven't laughed so hard from a book in a very long time!

I LOVE the sub-title: True Stories to Let Every Mother Know She's Not Alone in the Craziness

You will LAUGH, you will CRY, and if you are a mom you will UNDERSTAND!

Filled with stories of being a mom and all that goes into that from the bad to the good, from the ugly to the beauty, this book will help you understand the five-letter word called ~ Mommy.

[Steph]

I loved, loved, loved this book! I laughed out loud several times, but also loved the sentimental moments the author shared. She starts by saying, “I’m Mommy,” and keeps that theme throughout. Such a fun, easy read, and a good reminder that we’re never alone in the joys and struggles of motherhood.

[Shelly Raisner]

This book was from parents prospective, very good learned more about being lined with my children. It’s very good especially coming

[Ruth Hill]

This has to be one of the funniest, wildest motherhood books I have ever read! It was an absolute delight to read, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who has been a mother, who is one currently, or thinks she may want to be a mother. This is true, funny, and incredibly entertaining. Rachel McClellan shares a myriad of stories in an amusing way that make the worst experiences of motherhood easier to face. And you finally feel that you are no alone! I only have one child, but I found myself saying that Rachel is a picture of how my daughter might be as a mother. And that is scary! That may sound funny, but it gave me great insight. In addition to this, my daughter is definitely like her daughters except that my daughter is a little tomboy. I can't imagine having four children and not completely losing your sanity! But Rachel has done it without being a perfect mom.

I want to caution you. This book is filled with bodily functions and fluids. Don't read this right before dinner (like I did!). You will appreciate the relationship that she and her husband have. And you will be reminded of why you are a mother--yes, it's not all bad. And you will see God's hand in everything in spite of the bad things. There is no profanity, and there is really only one mention of sex. But after all, she is a married woman! It's quite a humorous scene right at the beginning of the book. In fact, the entire book will probably have you laughing out loud. You will probably identify, remember, or scare you off! I highly recommend this book!

I was sent a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. I was not financially compensated, and all opinions are 100 percent mine.

[Thomas Winship]

I’m a huge Rachel McClellan fan. I read “Fractured Light” and “Fractured Soul”—I even beta read a future novel—so I know what I’m talking about when I say that she is an amazing writer.

When I first heard of “Confessions of A Cereal Mother,” I was interested, but slightly skeptical. Yes, I had already seen what she could do with fiction … but non-fiction is a horse of another color. And humorous non-fiction, to boot? Talk about one heckuva challenge. Still, the book blurb alone was enough to convince me that McClellan could probably pull it off.

And pull it off, she did. I’m not prone to wetting myself due to laughter or anything else—not yet, at least—but I came real close on several occasions. “Confessions” is that funny. In fact, it’s nothing short of comedic genius—particularly to anyone who has children.

McClellan regales us with the situations that parents everywhere experience—not only the obviously funny ones, mind you, but everything from the mind-numbingly boring everyday interactions to the heart-stopping-near-tragic ones. Faced with similar circumstances, few among us are even able to appreciate any inherent humor. Fewer still are able to capture it, distill it, bottle it, and hand it out as a gift.

McClellan is among those few. Her book is more than funny; it’s crafty and witty and touching … and should be required reading for all new parents. In fact, I highly recommend “Confessions of A Cereal Mother” to any person who has ever had a child, known a child, or been a child.

Thank you for your confessions, Rachel McClellan.

See this review during Rachel's book tour stop at vaempires.com on 3/12/13.

[Heidi]

Can I just say: HILARIOUS! I will never look at motherhood the same way again. After reading this book I have a much greater appreciation for my own mother who raised five children. And it NEVER ends, the problems just get bigger. In my opinions, there is no greater or more difficult job on the planet than motherhood. Raising children takes more stamina, patience, creativity, and love than any other job in existence. McClellan does an excellent job of showing both the incredible challenges of motherhood, along with the amazing benefits of a job that is 24-7 and never ending. Her stories are funny and sympathy-inducing. I seriously had to hold my tummy after laughing through some of her stories. Working with children myself, I am now more grateful than ever that at the end of the day I get to send them home to their families. ;) All I can say is thank goodness for the loving, nuturing mothers of the world! Highly recommended.

[Christine]

So much fun! I love this book! I laughed hard enough that it should count for my workout today! It's a true and positive look at being a mom- the good, the bad, and the ugly. And of course, the fantastic. The stories are hilarious and so true to life. As a mom myself, this book is really easy for me to relate to. For those who aren't, this is an entertaining look into what being a parent is all about. Of the parenting-type books I've read, this is the only one that hasn't left me feeling overwhelmed and inadequate. Instead, I feel like there's someone out there who understands the craziness and wouldn't judge me for it. A definite must read for anyone who could use a laugh! (isn't that pretty much every one?)

[Debbie]

This is a great book. It was very funny to read. Rachel McClellan tells of different times in her life and the things that happened at these times. Some of these tips are: Never throw away your pregnancy test before the three minutes are up; unless there is a rush to the grocery store pending a zombie-virus outbreak, never take your kids shopping with you; If your toddler is going to chew on a Band-Aid, hope that it is one found inside the chlorinated community swimming pool and not one found in the locker room; and most important, the moment one of your children is seriously ill, forget about everything else and be a mom...you have the greatest honor in the world.
My daughter and I really liked this book.

[My Book Addiction and More MBA]

THE CONFESSIONS OF A CEREAL MOTHER by Rachel McCellan is an interesting take on Motherhood/Family book. A very humorous look at Motherhood and all it entails. With useful tips to a mother's journey and a reminder why we raise our children successfully,hopefully. A must read for mothers-to-be,mothers,and grandmothers everywhere. It will not only lift your spirits,but will also serve as a help book.Motherhood can be overwhelming. As my child is grown,or so she thinks,although,she is 39,mother still knows best. Uplifting! A MUST READ! Received for an honest review from the author.

RATING: 4
HEAT RATING: NONE
REVIEWED BY: AprilR, My Book Addiction Reviews

[Gayla]

Every mother who has ever had a family can relate to this charming, hysterically funny book that chronicles all the unpredictable events that occur within the home. Not only are McClellan's situations real, normal and relatable, the author expresses them sharp and to the point. She makes the ride she's taken an adventure full of wit, heart and love. Her writing draws you into her world and hilarity. Count me in! I want more of her life!!

[Grant Mcclellan]

I was pleasantly surprised when I read this book. I was expecting it to be so far from my normal "manly" interests that it would be a challenge to get through it. But, being the father of eight children, I soon found myself totally relating to the author's experiences and laughing out loud along the way. A thoroughly delightful read! —Grant

[Kristi Anderson]

I read most of the book but admit I couldn't finish it. I read to escape from my crazy world of 4 kids - and this was not an escape. It felt like I was reading my current life and I don't need to add any more drama to an already hectic life. Maybe if I was in a different phase of my life I would find this enjoyable - but not now.

[Alice]

I read most of this, but couldn't finish it. I feel like I can relate to this book, but reading about puke, kids misbehaving, and everyday chaos just isn't entertaining for me. I have 4 kids. I live this everyday. I talk to my friends and know that other moms have similar struggles. I get it! I just don't want to read about!

[Stephanie]

Confessions is a must read for mommies everywhere. It'll have you laughing and commiserating all at the same time, with feel good moments in between. Highly recommended for anyone with a healthy sense of humor. McClellan has done it again. ;)

[Kristen]

This book helped me laugh at myself, and helped me remember that I'm not alone in the craziness that is motherhood. If you take yourself too seriously, this book is not for you. However, if you enjoy a fun reminder of how motherhood is a roller coaster of "fun," then I highly recommend it.

[Suzana]

I laughed and cried and sometimes wasn't sure how to react because the story was too close to home.

[Reading For Sanity]

Read our review of this title and more at: http://readingforsanity.blogspot.com/...

[Monica]

From the first chapter this book made me laugh out loud. The stories are totally relevant and anyone can relate to them. A definite read for any mom.

[Megan]

I can sum this book up in one word....funny! I don't think I've ever laughed out loud so many times while reading this book. If you have kids, read it!

[Jill]

very funny and very true. really enjoyed it.

[Heather]

Very comical and made me glad it's not just me having a life like "this"...but not award winning or anything. Cute!

[Valerie]

Highly amusing, and makes you feel like you're not the only mom with crazy days and a short temper that you immediately regret.

[Emmylou Baird]

A laugh out loud and cry story because I've been there before

[Krysta]

Was funny but her stories are not original or that interesting. Could completely relate though.

[Ericka]

Every one should read this book!

I laughed, I cried and I related the whole way through and then I sent a mass text telling everyone I know to read this book! I've experienced every part of this book while raising my children. My youngest has severe autism and pdd so he's like 10 children all by himself! I love the chapter about going to the grocery store because it is unavoidable at times and is a lesson in public humiliation lol! I love that Rachel McClellan had the courage to write this book because it's hard to admit that we aren't perfect and have breakdowns. Thanks for writing this book.