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I Can't Complain: (All Too) Personal Essays
From the beloved and acclaimed novelist, a collection of witty, moving essays. In her two decades of writing, Elinor Lipman has populated her fictional universe with characters so utterly real that we feel like they’re old friends. Now she shares an even more intimate world with us—her own—in essays that offer a candid, charming take on modern life. Looking back and forging ahead, she considers the subjects that matter most: childhood and condiments, long marriage and solo living, career and politics.
Here you’ll find the lighthearted: a celebration of four decades of All My Children, a reflection on being Jewish in heavily Irish-Catholic Lowell on St. Patrick’s Day, a hilariously unflinching account of her tiptoe into online dating. But she also tackles the serious and profound in eloquent stories of unexpected widowhood and caring for elderly parents that use her struggles to illuminate ours. Whether for Lipman’s longtime readers or those who love the essays of Nora Ephron or Anna Quindlen, I Can't Complain is a diverting delight.
Here you’ll find the lighthearted: a celebration of four decades of All My Children, a reflection on being Jewish in heavily Irish-Catholic Lowell on St. Patrick’s Day, a hilariously unflinching account of her tiptoe into online dating. But she also tackles the serious and profound in eloquent stories of unexpected widowhood and caring for elderly parents that use her struggles to illuminate ours. Whether for Lipman’s longtime readers or those who love the essays of Nora Ephron or Anna Quindlen, I Can't Complain is a diverting delight.
161 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2013
51 people are currently reading
1353 people want to read
About the author
Elinor Lipman
27 books1,346 followersI love talking with readers - for 1:1s and Book Club visits, find me on Skolay: www.skolay.com/writers/elinor-lipman
Elinor Lipman is the author of 14 humorous novels about contemporary American society; essay and short story collections. Born and raised in Lowell, MA, she divides her time between Manhattan and the Hudson Valley of New York. She received the New England Book award for fiction in 2001. Her first novel, "Then She Found Me," was adapted for the screen, starring Helen Hunt, Bette Midler, Colin Firth and Matthew Broderick. Her fourth novel, "The Inn at Lake Devine" was adapted for the off-off Broadway stage by Tongue in Cheek Theater. In 2011-2012, she held the Elizabeth Drew chair in creative writing at Smith College. Her novel, “Ms. Demeanor," was a finalist for the 2023 Thurber Prize for American Humor. In 2021, her hometown Library, Pollard Memorial Library in Lowell, established The Elinor Lipman Prize, awarded annually to Lowell residents and students at Lowell universities.
Elinor Lipman is the author of 14 humorous novels about contemporary American society; essay and short story collections. Born and raised in Lowell, MA, she divides her time between Manhattan and the Hudson Valley of New York. She received the New England Book award for fiction in 2001. Her first novel, "Then She Found Me," was adapted for the screen, starring Helen Hunt, Bette Midler, Colin Firth and Matthew Broderick. Her fourth novel, "The Inn at Lake Devine" was adapted for the off-off Broadway stage by Tongue in Cheek Theater. In 2011-2012, she held the Elizabeth Drew chair in creative writing at Smith College. Her novel, “Ms. Demeanor," was a finalist for the 2023 Thurber Prize for American Humor. In 2021, her hometown Library, Pollard Memorial Library in Lowell, established The Elinor Lipman Prize, awarded annually to Lowell residents and students at Lowell universities.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 208 reviews
April 21, 2013
I love Elinor Lipman's novels. But her "essays"....can I complain? I felt misled on two crucial points.
First, these essays are a compilation of reprints written over decades, and it shows. So ask yourself if you really want to read decades-old Good Housekeeping "Blessings" columns. If you do--great! You'll enjoy these. If not, maybe skip this one.
My second problem with this book is the subtitle, (All Too) Personal Essays. Her mom had a condiment phobia! Her father was perfect (his biggest problem: he loved both sisters so much, they argued over who was his favorite)! She attended a mixed-religion bat mitzvah. Seriously? What year is this?!? Oh, 1993.
Then, on page 136 of this 161-page book, she finally gets personal. Her husband has a rare brain disorder. I literally sat up in my bed when I read this. Here we go. Here's the real stuff, the heartfelt stuff, the post-90's meaning of (All Too) Personal Essays. But alas, no. Ms. Lipman gives us a little, then pulls back and we're reading an essay about "pride for Jews on TV."
So why the three stars and not less? Because I hope no one misses Lipman's novels; they're wonderful, insightful, even funny. And maybe fans of hers will love these essays for taking them back to a time when calling your neat-freak husband "Mr. Clean" was the height of hilarity and self-revelation. But if you're looking for a deep, funny, insightful read, I'd go straight for The Inn at Lake Devine. In fact, I think I may reread it now, to rekindle my love for Ms. Lipman.
Also, I gave it three stars because I truly hope that one day Ms. Lipman really writes a volume of (All Too) Personal Essays. I'll be the first one to pick those up, no complaints.
Fingers crossed!
First, these essays are a compilation of reprints written over decades, and it shows. So ask yourself if you really want to read decades-old Good Housekeeping "Blessings" columns. If you do--great! You'll enjoy these. If not, maybe skip this one.
My second problem with this book is the subtitle, (All Too) Personal Essays. Her mom had a condiment phobia! Her father was perfect (his biggest problem: he loved both sisters so much, they argued over who was his favorite)! She attended a mixed-religion bat mitzvah. Seriously? What year is this?!? Oh, 1993.
Then, on page 136 of this 161-page book, she finally gets personal. Her husband has a rare brain disorder. I literally sat up in my bed when I read this. Here we go. Here's the real stuff, the heartfelt stuff, the post-90's meaning of (All Too) Personal Essays. But alas, no. Ms. Lipman gives us a little, then pulls back and we're reading an essay about "pride for Jews on TV."
So why the three stars and not less? Because I hope no one misses Lipman's novels; they're wonderful, insightful, even funny. And maybe fans of hers will love these essays for taking them back to a time when calling your neat-freak husband "Mr. Clean" was the height of hilarity and self-revelation. But if you're looking for a deep, funny, insightful read, I'd go straight for The Inn at Lake Devine. In fact, I think I may reread it now, to rekindle my love for Ms. Lipman.
Also, I gave it three stars because I truly hope that one day Ms. Lipman really writes a volume of (All Too) Personal Essays. I'll be the first one to pick those up, no complaints.
Fingers crossed!
July 7, 2013
When I read Elinor Lipman's column about the death of her husband in the NY Times"Modern Love" section, I loved her writing and I knew I wanted to read more. Sensitive and personal (without being maudlin or inappropriate), she wrote with such humor and dignity.
Later, I read a reference to this book, I Can't Complain, in the Times' Book Review. The review was a good one. Between that and the fact that she is a friend of my sister-in-law (they both teach writing at Smith College), I knew I wanted to read this. I was not disappointed.
I read the book in one day. The stories are short, the writing is crisp and funny, and the woman is from the same generation as I am. I get her or maybe she gets me. I loved every one of her stories, from the ones about her upbringing as the a member of the only Jewish family on her street in Lowell, Massachussetts to the story of how she tried (and failed) at online dating while half-heartedly trying to get back into the 'market' after the death of her husband. She is brilliant and now I want to read all of her books.
Later, I read a reference to this book, I Can't Complain, in the Times' Book Review. The review was a good one. Between that and the fact that she is a friend of my sister-in-law (they both teach writing at Smith College), I knew I wanted to read this. I was not disappointed.
I read the book in one day. The stories are short, the writing is crisp and funny, and the woman is from the same generation as I am. I get her or maybe she gets me. I loved every one of her stories, from the ones about her upbringing as the a member of the only Jewish family on her street in Lowell, Massachussetts to the story of how she tried (and failed) at online dating while half-heartedly trying to get back into the 'market' after the death of her husband. She is brilliant and now I want to read all of her books.
July 7, 2013
Roz Reads I CAN’T COMPLAIN (AT TOO) PERSONAL ESSAYS
Most readers have heard of Nora Roberts, but few have heard of Elinor Lipman, which comes in quite handy if you happen to work in a public library.
When a patron asks me to recommend a good book, I’ll ask,“ Have you read “My Latest Grievance?”
The answer is usually no.
I’ll find it on the shelf, she’ll check it out, smiling, and I’ll have preserved my reputation as that amazing librarian who can always be counted on to conjure up just the right read.
If “Grievance,” isn’t available, I can go with “Then She Found Me,” or any one of Lipman‘s 10 witty and engaging novels. All are literate and funny, wise but never earnest, feminine to the core, but too sharply observed to be mere “chick lit.“ And while her female protagonists are often seeking love, and her stories tend to have happy endings, Lipman’s characters are nuanced and complicated, and she doesn’t hesitate to tackle issues like racism and prejudice.
Lipman’s latest book, “I Can’t Complain,” isn’t a novel, though, but a collection of essays written over the past two decades for venues from “The Boston Globe” and “Good Housekeeping” to “Dirty Words: A Literary Encyclopedia of Sex.“ (Which, on the basis of that title and Lipman’s contribution, now tops my own “to read” list.)
Not everyone who can write a good novel is also a gifted nonfiction writer, but “I Can’t Complain” is a winner. Addressing a wide variety of topics, from sex education and marital communication to growing up Jewish in an Italian neighborhood and the allure of “Sex & The City, she’s smart, sincere, and very entertaining.
Lipman, a “Sex and the City Fan,“ is a bit like Carrie Bradshaw herself; a successful writer who confides in her readers about her life, and is fascinated by people and what makes them tick. But, at 62, she’s an older and wiser Carrie Bradshaw in another stage of life, no longer in pursuit of a great love, but enjoying married life and motherhood, as well as coping with the inevitable losses that life brings.
The give and take of married life provides Lipman with plenty of material, inspiring essays about the pursuit of a good night‘s sleep when your mate’s sleep habits differ greatly from your own, living with a clean freak, and some interesting observations about the secrets of marital longevity. Lipman celebrates her union, but notes that it is not without stresses. (When hubby kvetches about the way she’s prepared a gourmet meal, Lipman responds, “Maybe he’d prefer a nice can of Progresso after a hard day’s work.”)
Lipman also explores her own quirks and foibles, in essays about being a nice person who holds grudges, learning to turn down invitations and her anxieties as an author.
Because I’m a writer myself, I particularly enjoyed Lipman’s essays about her craft. Writing without an outline. Defining your characters by their food choices. And then there’s the dream-come-true experience of “Then She Found Me” being made into a movie starring Helen Hunt, Better Midler, Colin Firth and Matthew Broderick. (Featuring Salmon Rushie as a gyneocologist!)
Lipman’s essay about naming her characters was instructive. “Sometimes you name a character in order to reward a friend or punish an enemy,” she confides. For instance, she named the sexual predator in her novel “The Dearly Departed” after “the critic who gave a dear friend an ugly review in the New York Times.”
Not only is Lipman a good writer, she’s a loyal pal.
“Complain” also includes Seinfeldian riffs about human behavior. Lipman is particularly interested in couples. What exactly is going on, she wonders, when a woman who is always perfectly turned out has a husband who is a total slob. Doesn’t she notice that his clothing is spotted with food stains and his shoulders covered with dandruff. Or doesn’t she care?
And what about the serial killer who managed to keep his murderous little hobby a secret from his devoted wife over the course of a 27-year marriage? How on earth did he pull that off?
Motherhood inspires a number of essays, including my own favorite, “The Rosy Glow of the Backward Glance,” about the reassuring truth that the the vast majority of a new mother’s deepest fears fail to materialize. Lipman contrasts her own concerns about her son’s development when she was a young mom with the way he actually turned out, with items like:
Then: Shy.
Now: Exceeds his 500 minutes per month cell phone plan.
Then: Watched too much TV, played too much Nintendo.
Now: Graduates from an Ivy League university.
It’s an essay that ought to be handed to every new mom as she leaves the hospital, her new bundle of joy (and inspiration for endless anxiety) in her arms.
The only complaint I have about “I Can’t Complain” is that it’s over too soon. Putting it down, you’ll feel as if you’ve made a new friend. In the future, you’ll be sure to watch for Lipman’s byline.
And if you haven’t yet read Lipman’s novels, you’ll probably head straight for the library.
Lipman, who has been compared to everyone from Jane Austen to Bart Simpson (including Dorothy Parker and Fran Lebowitz) deserves a much larger audience. Despite her usefulness as a little known gem to librarians everywhere, I hope that, with this terrific little book, she finds it.
(This essay first appeared on www.womensvoicesforchange.org)
Most readers have heard of Nora Roberts, but few have heard of Elinor Lipman, which comes in quite handy if you happen to work in a public library.
When a patron asks me to recommend a good book, I’ll ask,“ Have you read “My Latest Grievance?”
The answer is usually no.
I’ll find it on the shelf, she’ll check it out, smiling, and I’ll have preserved my reputation as that amazing librarian who can always be counted on to conjure up just the right read.
If “Grievance,” isn’t available, I can go with “Then She Found Me,” or any one of Lipman‘s 10 witty and engaging novels. All are literate and funny, wise but never earnest, feminine to the core, but too sharply observed to be mere “chick lit.“ And while her female protagonists are often seeking love, and her stories tend to have happy endings, Lipman’s characters are nuanced and complicated, and she doesn’t hesitate to tackle issues like racism and prejudice.
Lipman’s latest book, “I Can’t Complain,” isn’t a novel, though, but a collection of essays written over the past two decades for venues from “The Boston Globe” and “Good Housekeeping” to “Dirty Words: A Literary Encyclopedia of Sex.“ (Which, on the basis of that title and Lipman’s contribution, now tops my own “to read” list.)
Not everyone who can write a good novel is also a gifted nonfiction writer, but “I Can’t Complain” is a winner. Addressing a wide variety of topics, from sex education and marital communication to growing up Jewish in an Italian neighborhood and the allure of “Sex & The City, she’s smart, sincere, and very entertaining.
Lipman, a “Sex and the City Fan,“ is a bit like Carrie Bradshaw herself; a successful writer who confides in her readers about her life, and is fascinated by people and what makes them tick. But, at 62, she’s an older and wiser Carrie Bradshaw in another stage of life, no longer in pursuit of a great love, but enjoying married life and motherhood, as well as coping with the inevitable losses that life brings.
The give and take of married life provides Lipman with plenty of material, inspiring essays about the pursuit of a good night‘s sleep when your mate’s sleep habits differ greatly from your own, living with a clean freak, and some interesting observations about the secrets of marital longevity. Lipman celebrates her union, but notes that it is not without stresses. (When hubby kvetches about the way she’s prepared a gourmet meal, Lipman responds, “Maybe he’d prefer a nice can of Progresso after a hard day’s work.”)
Lipman also explores her own quirks and foibles, in essays about being a nice person who holds grudges, learning to turn down invitations and her anxieties as an author.
Because I’m a writer myself, I particularly enjoyed Lipman’s essays about her craft. Writing without an outline. Defining your characters by their food choices. And then there’s the dream-come-true experience of “Then She Found Me” being made into a movie starring Helen Hunt, Better Midler, Colin Firth and Matthew Broderick. (Featuring Salmon Rushie as a gyneocologist!)
Lipman’s essay about naming her characters was instructive. “Sometimes you name a character in order to reward a friend or punish an enemy,” she confides. For instance, she named the sexual predator in her novel “The Dearly Departed” after “the critic who gave a dear friend an ugly review in the New York Times.”
Not only is Lipman a good writer, she’s a loyal pal.
“Complain” also includes Seinfeldian riffs about human behavior. Lipman is particularly interested in couples. What exactly is going on, she wonders, when a woman who is always perfectly turned out has a husband who is a total slob. Doesn’t she notice that his clothing is spotted with food stains and his shoulders covered with dandruff. Or doesn’t she care?
And what about the serial killer who managed to keep his murderous little hobby a secret from his devoted wife over the course of a 27-year marriage? How on earth did he pull that off?
Motherhood inspires a number of essays, including my own favorite, “The Rosy Glow of the Backward Glance,” about the reassuring truth that the the vast majority of a new mother’s deepest fears fail to materialize. Lipman contrasts her own concerns about her son’s development when she was a young mom with the way he actually turned out, with items like:
Then: Shy.
Now: Exceeds his 500 minutes per month cell phone plan.
Then: Watched too much TV, played too much Nintendo.
Now: Graduates from an Ivy League university.
It’s an essay that ought to be handed to every new mom as she leaves the hospital, her new bundle of joy (and inspiration for endless anxiety) in her arms.
The only complaint I have about “I Can’t Complain” is that it’s over too soon. Putting it down, you’ll feel as if you’ve made a new friend. In the future, you’ll be sure to watch for Lipman’s byline.
And if you haven’t yet read Lipman’s novels, you’ll probably head straight for the library.
Lipman, who has been compared to everyone from Jane Austen to Bart Simpson (including Dorothy Parker and Fran Lebowitz) deserves a much larger audience. Despite her usefulness as a little known gem to librarians everywhere, I hope that, with this terrific little book, she finds it.
(This essay first appeared on www.womensvoicesforchange.org)
November 21, 2018
I so enjoy Elinor Lipman! If you need a good palette cleanser, something light and refreshing - you can do no wrong picking up something by her. She's a delight. These essays, read by her, were absolutely wonderful. They put a smile on my face, I paused in reflection and they were just something completely delightful to listen to.
This fits for my #NonfictionNovember and the essays category for the 2018 Reading Women Challenge.
This fits for my #NonfictionNovember and the essays category for the 2018 Reading Women Challenge.
March 6, 2013
I have read all of Lipman's novels and have loved them all. When I discovered she had a book of personal essays in the (publishing) works, I was thrilled. I'm in love with her writer's voice--insouciant, wise, discerning, beautifully humorous. And just as in her fiction, that voice is light, yet powerful in her essays about love (romantic and familial), writing (!), and widowhood.
As a narrator, you get a sense of who Lipman is; in these essays, you get more "facts" about her life--her late husband (who was always early), her mensch of a son, her family background, and her writing habits. They are harmonious with her fictional self--lovingly and wryly described. One of my favorite essays is her St. Patrick's Day Valentine to the Irish-Americans who shared (and dominated) her childhood neighborhood ("A Tip of the Hat to the Old Block")--Lipman makes the characters so vivid that I can see the blue-eyed Suzanne showing off her dotted Swiss dress, as well as the play of light in the room that Lipman doesn't describe. Thanks to the the written window Lipman provides, I am there, seeing and feeling.
I also adored the story of the bat-mitzvah girl with three sets of grandparents--like a number of the author's reflections, the essay reminds you of initial impressions and how they may or may not stay valid through time. Her writing about her late husband is exquisitely-wrought; it is never maudlin, and all the more poignant for that. There really was not one essay I didn't find of value, so I won't list every one of them here.
But even if you have never read Lipman's fiction, you should enjoy these essays if you are a writer (naming your characters and the use of food for characterization are just some of the tips you'll glean) or a thoughtful woman. There's a subtle feel-good energy to all of Lipman's work--it's not in the way of flashy fireworks, but substantive human charm and decency. Deliciously-concocted food for thought that I gulped down in one sitting--and can't complain at all about. No bitter aftertaste to be found.
As a narrator, you get a sense of who Lipman is; in these essays, you get more "facts" about her life--her late husband (who was always early), her mensch of a son, her family background, and her writing habits. They are harmonious with her fictional self--lovingly and wryly described. One of my favorite essays is her St. Patrick's Day Valentine to the Irish-Americans who shared (and dominated) her childhood neighborhood ("A Tip of the Hat to the Old Block")--Lipman makes the characters so vivid that I can see the blue-eyed Suzanne showing off her dotted Swiss dress, as well as the play of light in the room that Lipman doesn't describe. Thanks to the the written window Lipman provides, I am there, seeing and feeling.
I also adored the story of the bat-mitzvah girl with three sets of grandparents--like a number of the author's reflections, the essay reminds you of initial impressions and how they may or may not stay valid through time. Her writing about her late husband is exquisitely-wrought; it is never maudlin, and all the more poignant for that. There really was not one essay I didn't find of value, so I won't list every one of them here.
But even if you have never read Lipman's fiction, you should enjoy these essays if you are a writer (naming your characters and the use of food for characterization are just some of the tips you'll glean) or a thoughtful woman. There's a subtle feel-good energy to all of Lipman's work--it's not in the way of flashy fireworks, but substantive human charm and decency. Deliciously-concocted food for thought that I gulped down in one sitting--and can't complain at all about. No bitter aftertaste to be found.
January 19, 2023
I Can't Complain (All Too) Personal Essays by Elinor Lipman
161-page Hardback
Genre: Writing > Essays; Adult Nonfiction, Autobiography > Memoir; Humor, Short Stories, Language > Writing
Featuring: Family Stories, Personal Thoughts, Death, Writing Blurbs, Books & Movies
Rating as a movie: PG-13
My rating: ⭐️⭐️¾
My thoughts: Page 22 of 161 Good Grudgekeeping - I don't want to say it's dull as it's nonfiction and that's not nice, but it feels very textbooky and flows like awkward party conversations. I think it may get better so I'm going to read something else and double back later.
I'm glad I gave this book a break. I started out disliking it. I don't know if the content got better, if it was fresh eyes, or if I was annoyed with my other book, Sunday at Sunflower Inn, allI know was it was easier to read the second session and somewhat enjoyable. I didn't know this was a nonfiction book when I ordered it and once I did I thought it was important to give it a fair shot. This is my second book by Elinor Lipman, I loved Ms. Demeanor and I was looking for more of the same. I didn't get that but I'm glad I got to know the author better through these stories.
Recommend to others?: Probably not. It's not bad, but it wasn't what I expected.
161-page Hardback
Genre: Writing > Essays; Adult Nonfiction, Autobiography > Memoir; Humor, Short Stories, Language > Writing
Featuring: Family Stories, Personal Thoughts, Death, Writing Blurbs, Books & Movies
Rating as a movie: PG-13
My rating: ⭐️⭐️¾
My thoughts: Page 22 of 161 Good Grudgekeeping - I don't want to say it's dull as it's nonfiction and that's not nice, but it feels very textbooky and flows like awkward party conversations. I think it may get better so I'm going to read something else and double back later.
I'm glad I gave this book a break. I started out disliking it. I don't know if the content got better, if it was fresh eyes, or if I was annoyed with my other book, Sunday at Sunflower Inn, allI know was it was easier to read the second session and somewhat enjoyable. I didn't know this was a nonfiction book when I ordered it and once I did I thought it was important to give it a fair shot. This is my second book by Elinor Lipman, I loved Ms. Demeanor and I was looking for more of the same. I didn't get that but I'm glad I got to know the author better through these stories.
Recommend to others?: Probably not. It's not bad, but it wasn't what I expected.
January 30, 2024
I generally don't like books of essays nor short stories. But because I'm having so much fun rediscovering Elinor Litman, and because it was the only other audio book of hers on Libby, I gave it a shot.
And I loved it. Even got tears in my eyes at the essay, I hope I'm invited to your wedding.
So I went on Thriftbooks and bought all of her books that I don't currently own.
And I plan to buy an audible bundle so I can switch back and forth from listening to reading.
And I loved it. Even got tears in my eyes at the essay, I hope I'm invited to your wedding.
So I went on Thriftbooks and bought all of her books that I don't currently own.
And I plan to buy an audible bundle so I can switch back and forth from listening to reading.
February 21, 2017
This book was fairly entertaining. I loved the chapters where the author talked about her family and her life experiences. My favorite chapter is "I Sleep Around," where she jokes about how sensitive her husband is when he's trying to sleep. She can't even use a book light in bed because of his "transparent eyelids!"
April 6, 2018
I have enjoyed several of Ms. Lipman's fiction to the point of chuckling out loud. I expected that her delightful humor would translate into funny observations on life. I am not sure if I had expectations that were to lofty or if our perspectives on life are just to different. This book just plodded for me. It hearkened me to the commercial Wendy's had in the early 1980's of "where's the beef". Well Ms. Lipman has a lot of "beefs" but none that are tantalizing to me. I gave up about 1/2 through.
Is it a cultural thing? Though Jewish on my father's side, we didn't observe so I don't have that mindset? Yet, I grew up with many Jewish friends and in college my best friend was very involved in the cultural (he even lived on a kibbutz) for 6 weeks.
Oy vey!
Is it a cultural thing? Though Jewish on my father's side, we didn't observe so I don't have that mindset? Yet, I grew up with many Jewish friends and in college my best friend was very involved in the cultural (he even lived on a kibbutz) for 6 weeks.
Oy vey!
June 4, 2019
Not having read any of her books, but now am wanting to hunt them down and read them. Found these essays charming, easy to read, and compelling. This is not a heavy read, but is obviously a deeply personal write on the author’s part. She is sharp, funny, and insightful. I found myself relating to her on a personal level, shedding a tear, and chuckling out loud. I would put that as a successful read....
March 24, 2023
Do you think it would be too presumptive of me to announce myself as Lipman's new BFF when I meet her next month at an author event? 'Cause truly, after reading three of her books, but especially this autobiographical collection of essays, that is exactly the new role I want...Elinor Lipman's BFF! :)
This is one of the very best collections, particularly autobiographical/memoir, that I have read. Her writing style hits me exactly RIGHT!!
This is one of the very best collections, particularly autobiographical/memoir, that I have read. Her writing style hits me exactly RIGHT!!
November 28, 2018
4.5 / 5 stars
October 9, 2022
It's rehashed stuff from a million years ago. No.
July 10, 2020
Love her to pieces! I need more Elinor!!!
April 4, 2015
I Can’t Complain by Elinor Lipman. Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt (April 16, 2013). Essay/nonfiction. Hardcover. ISBN 978-0-547-57620-6.
“Will I blurb a book because its editor implores me charmingly? No. Will I take a stab at it? Yes. When do I decide? I read until something stops me: Clunky sentences. No life. No story. Too much story. Too many italics. Too earnest or pretentious or writerly."
--"Confessions of a Blurb Slut" from I Can't Complain by Elinor Lipman
Elinor Lipman writes wryly humorous and astutely observant novels. Previous published in The Boston Globe [“I Married a Gourmet,” “The Best Man,” “Ego Boundaries”], Good Housekeeping [“Good Grudgekeeping”], The New York Times [“Confessions of a Blurb Slut”] and various other periodicals and anthologies, this collection of essays provides insight into her personal life-- family, marriage, friendships, writing career and her husband's death.
She debates the complexities to RSVPing in “No Thank You, I Think”—“I have a companion quirk to the saying of no: I must explain why I’m turning down an invitation, lest the potential host guess the truth, that I simply don’t want to go. I always RSVP with an excellent reason and ask the same in return, a little emoting and a lot of regret.” Describes growing up the sole Jewish family amid Irish in a Lowell neighborhood with a St. Patrick’s Day column titled “A Tip of the Hat to the Old Block”—“I still don’t know why Father Shanley regularly joined us for corned beef and cabbage, but it might have been his preference for deli-style over rectory-style boiled meat.”
In a section of essays, Lipman contemplates being a writer and the publishing business from naming characters [“Which One is He Again?”] to the expectations for blurbing books [“Confessions of a Blurb Slut”] to the long journey from novel to the screen [“My Book the Movie”]. Then there’s tackling more serious issues in “I Touch a Nerve”-- “Sometimes I add this, hoping to broaden the topic and get me off the hot seat: A novel about a Jewish family is a Jewish novel. (I name a few.) One cannot bring forth an American novel about the Everyman Family and name them the Shapiros unless the author is making a point. Ethnicity, religion, and race can’t be dropped casually into a novel as if casting a television commercial with a multicultural aim.”
She’s quite witty and endearing. Lipman writes in a conversational tone that makes you want to befriend her, confide in her, drink tea and chat for hours. You can savor the essays over time or enjoy in one sitting and return to them frequently and share them.
[http://entertainmentrealm.com]
“Will I blurb a book because its editor implores me charmingly? No. Will I take a stab at it? Yes. When do I decide? I read until something stops me: Clunky sentences. No life. No story. Too much story. Too many italics. Too earnest or pretentious or writerly."
--"Confessions of a Blurb Slut" from I Can't Complain by Elinor Lipman
Elinor Lipman writes wryly humorous and astutely observant novels. Previous published in The Boston Globe [“I Married a Gourmet,” “The Best Man,” “Ego Boundaries”], Good Housekeeping [“Good Grudgekeeping”], The New York Times [“Confessions of a Blurb Slut”] and various other periodicals and anthologies, this collection of essays provides insight into her personal life-- family, marriage, friendships, writing career and her husband's death.
She debates the complexities to RSVPing in “No Thank You, I Think”—“I have a companion quirk to the saying of no: I must explain why I’m turning down an invitation, lest the potential host guess the truth, that I simply don’t want to go. I always RSVP with an excellent reason and ask the same in return, a little emoting and a lot of regret.” Describes growing up the sole Jewish family amid Irish in a Lowell neighborhood with a St. Patrick’s Day column titled “A Tip of the Hat to the Old Block”—“I still don’t know why Father Shanley regularly joined us for corned beef and cabbage, but it might have been his preference for deli-style over rectory-style boiled meat.”
In a section of essays, Lipman contemplates being a writer and the publishing business from naming characters [“Which One is He Again?”] to the expectations for blurbing books [“Confessions of a Blurb Slut”] to the long journey from novel to the screen [“My Book the Movie”]. Then there’s tackling more serious issues in “I Touch a Nerve”-- “Sometimes I add this, hoping to broaden the topic and get me off the hot seat: A novel about a Jewish family is a Jewish novel. (I name a few.) One cannot bring forth an American novel about the Everyman Family and name them the Shapiros unless the author is making a point. Ethnicity, religion, and race can’t be dropped casually into a novel as if casting a television commercial with a multicultural aim.”
She’s quite witty and endearing. Lipman writes in a conversational tone that makes you want to befriend her, confide in her, drink tea and chat for hours. You can savor the essays over time or enjoy in one sitting and return to them frequently and share them.
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June 4, 2013
I haven't read any of Elinor Lipman's novel, but I know plenty people love them, and after reading this collection of previously-published essays, I can see why. Lipman is candid and funny which is a disarming and endearing combination. These essays reminded me a bit of Anna Quindlin's, but a bit less sentimental--unless Lipman's is writing about her only child and son, Ben, with whom she is obviously enchanted and which is, again, endearing. The essays range in topic from light (writing blurbs for books) to heavy (relatively young widowhood), but even the heavy is kept light; I did wish for a bit more depth at times even as I acknowledged that this was not the tasks Lipman had set for herself. These essays could read in one effervescent and refreshing gulp, or one indulgent confection at a time--either way, they are enjoyable.
July 23, 2013
Glad I stuck with this one. Lipman's fiction is irresistible, but this book of essays, like many single-author collections (primarily of short stories), seemed it might become monotonous, or worse, cloying: one of the great strengths of all of Lipman's fiction is the smartass note in it, which is missing in the first few essays. Happily (all of her books end up happily, which is, for me, part of their appeal), just as I was getting impatient, I heard the edginess come back into her voice, most notably in her essays about the Writing Life. The final selections in the collection are excellent: warm, funny, moving tributes to her husband and son.
No spoilers from me, but after the last essay, "A Fine Nomance," I can't wait to read her latest novel, "The View From Penthouse B."
No spoilers from me, but after the last essay, "A Fine Nomance," I can't wait to read her latest novel, "The View From Penthouse B."
July 30, 2013
These essays grew on me as they got more current and a little more serious. Even with her novels, I like the earlier, more meaty ones better than the lighter ones she's been writing recently. The essays about her husband, their relationship, his death, and her life after his death were the best, I thought.
June 6, 2016
A nice collection of essays by Elinor Lipman. I liked her fictional stories, as well. She's a good writer -- she's very amusing.
August 8, 2017
I am not generally a fan of short story collections. My main beef is that I spend time investing in the story only to be cut off and shuttled to a story of an entirely different topic. However, with Elinor Lipman at the helm, I was willing to risk this loss.
To be sure, my initial hesitation was fully realized after the first offering. I wanted to know more about her mother's extreme aversion to condiments. Fortunately, the rest of the collection was engaging enough to pique my interest with each and every essay. Of particular interest, was the section about writing. I found it fascinating to read her views on topics such as showing rather than telling and selecting character names.
Although Elinor Lipman, an East Coast Jew, and I, a West Coast Christian, have seemingly little in common, there is something about her way of viewing and describing the world and its inhabitants that resonates with me. Every single one of her books brims with the style of humor that satisfies my somewhat cynical nature. Remember that Seinfeld episode where Jerry discovers his ideal date is a female version of himself? Guess my ideal read is an author with the ability to transcribe my thoughts. Admittedly, I would still like to read more about this condiment phobia.
To be sure, my initial hesitation was fully realized after the first offering. I wanted to know more about her mother's extreme aversion to condiments. Fortunately, the rest of the collection was engaging enough to pique my interest with each and every essay. Of particular interest, was the section about writing. I found it fascinating to read her views on topics such as showing rather than telling and selecting character names.
Although Elinor Lipman, an East Coast Jew, and I, a West Coast Christian, have seemingly little in common, there is something about her way of viewing and describing the world and its inhabitants that resonates with me. Every single one of her books brims with the style of humor that satisfies my somewhat cynical nature. Remember that Seinfeld episode where Jerry discovers his ideal date is a female version of himself? Guess my ideal read is an author with the ability to transcribe my thoughts. Admittedly, I would still like to read more about this condiment phobia.
April 11, 2019
Elinor Lipman has written some wonderful books. Isabel's Bed and The Inn at Lake Devine come to mind as contemporary classics, full of her trademark understated wit and insight.
By contrast, this essay collection comes under the category of just okay. My favorite bit was the part about how important it is to select the right name for one's story characters, and how "Isabel" in the aforementioned novel came to be Isabel because Ms. Lipman wanted a name that reflected her protagonist's warmhearted nature. I get it totally. Isabel is a great name and was perfect for this character. I also laughed out loud when she mentioned how many new (and I'm assuming unpublished) books she reads with protagonists named Kate and Anna. How to be a conformist in your creativity? Oy vey.
Other parts were less satisfying. I know that many (if not all of these) essays were reprinted from elsewhere, but overall, I really couldn't get a sense of who anyone in her life really was or is on a personal level. I was hoping for a lot more. I don't expect her to be "over-sharing" or revealing anything untoward (there's enough of that out there, yuck!! blah!!), but there really was so much good material here. As but one really excellent example, I was charmed to learn that Ms. Lipman's husband didn't care for her clothing choices and was somewhat vocal about it. This is of course not something typical of men in our generation, particularly busy physicians, although radiologists do tend to be somewhat visual and artistic. Hmmmm....I would have anticipated that someone of Ms. Lipman's talents could have really explored this, I would have loved to hear what she had to say.
Maybe in a future novel?
By contrast, this essay collection comes under the category of just okay. My favorite bit was the part about how important it is to select the right name for one's story characters, and how "Isabel" in the aforementioned novel came to be Isabel because Ms. Lipman wanted a name that reflected her protagonist's warmhearted nature. I get it totally. Isabel is a great name and was perfect for this character. I also laughed out loud when she mentioned how many new (and I'm assuming unpublished) books she reads with protagonists named Kate and Anna. How to be a conformist in your creativity? Oy vey.
Other parts were less satisfying. I know that many (if not all of these) essays were reprinted from elsewhere, but overall, I really couldn't get a sense of who anyone in her life really was or is on a personal level. I was hoping for a lot more. I don't expect her to be "over-sharing" or revealing anything untoward (there's enough of that out there, yuck!! blah!!), but there really was so much good material here. As but one really excellent example, I was charmed to learn that Ms. Lipman's husband didn't care for her clothing choices and was somewhat vocal about it. This is of course not something typical of men in our generation, particularly busy physicians, although radiologists do tend to be somewhat visual and artistic. Hmmmm....I would have anticipated that someone of Ms. Lipman's talents could have really explored this, I would have loved to hear what she had to say.
Maybe in a future novel?
June 9, 2017
I don't really like memoir, yet I read a lot of memoir. Why is that? In this case, I wanted to download another book from the library by an author I had just read, so I wound up with a book of short personal essays. You know why I gave this four stars? I'll tell you: Elinor Lipman is a pro. It is a pleasure to read something that is beautifully put together. She's a little too cheerful to be writing self-reflection. That's why this isn't five stars. It's four because there's a brief for each chapter and she fulfills it each time.
July 7, 2017
The Cart Before the Horse. I've never read one of Ms. Lipman's novels, if you can believe that, but now I plan to do so. I found her essays delightful although just grazing the surface of personal, no "all too" at all. However, I will say that Elinore may have been born a little early in the century (forgive me Ms. Lipman) to feel comfortable airing dirty linen in the ways it is all too chic to do so now. So, I cut her some slack for fathoming she is sharing a lot. I particularly wish her luck with her Nomances, and I'm gonna try the split peas and the parsnip in my chicken soup.
November 18, 2017
3.5* rounded up.
This was a very quick read; a collection of short essays and articles, mostly previously published, but none of which I had read before. Inevitably I enjoyed some more than others; I liked the "predictors of compatibility" listed in "Boy Meets Girl" very much, and the chapter about losing her husband was moving.
I do disagree about the movie version of "Then She Found Me" though - I loved the book and Dwight Willamee was the best thing about it.
This was a very quick read; a collection of short essays and articles, mostly previously published, but none of which I had read before. Inevitably I enjoyed some more than others; I liked the "predictors of compatibility" listed in "Boy Meets Girl" very much, and the chapter about losing her husband was moving.
I do disagree about the movie version of "Then She Found Me" though - I loved the book and Dwight Willamee was the best thing about it.
August 6, 2018
Found this at a library book sale. A rollicking good read in typical Lipman style. For anyone who used to be a soap fan, start with that one!
These essays remind me of the "HERS" column that ran Thursdays in The New York Times in the 1980s, rotating women who wrote smart & witty, with context and flair. It's the kind of journalism that's vanished in the narcissistic world of look-at-me bloggers.
So what a treat it was to find these essays from Lipman. More please!
These essays remind me of the "HERS" column that ran Thursdays in The New York Times in the 1980s, rotating women who wrote smart & witty, with context and flair. It's the kind of journalism that's vanished in the narcissistic world of look-at-me bloggers.
So what a treat it was to find these essays from Lipman. More please!
November 19, 2019
This is about my third or fourth book of Elinor’s and I’ve come to love her personality and spontaneity in these types of books. The beginning was a bit slow but she caught me on the Sex and the City chapter and the part regarding couples. I feel a connection through my living in MA and actually knowing where her mentioned locations are. Look forward to continuing my journey with Elinor.
August 23, 2023
Really enjoyed this collection of essays read by the author in the audio book. The essays are simultaneously touching, thoughtful, and funny. I loved the one about teaching sex ed to her son and another about her husband’s death. Lipman grasps on to the important stuff in life while never ceasing to be bemused at the rest of it.
October 30, 2025
This is a non-fiction book containing essays spanning stories about the author's married life, kids, relationships with friends and other authors. The book is humorous, witty, and a really good read. I love reading about real-life experiences - get to learn something myself.
You will love this book if you like light-reading, funny stories, lessons of life kind of stories...
You will love this book if you like light-reading, funny stories, lessons of life kind of stories...
February 17, 2018
Not the laugh out loud type of humor that I find in her books which I have loved, but reading about aspects of her personal life such as her husband and his eventual ill health, the quirks of her elderly mother, etc. was enjoyable.
April 1, 2018
Oh, jeez. I felt like Elinor Lipman's life is just enough more perfect than mine that I felt as if I were being humblebragged to, and the essays were just not funny/insightful enough to make up for that feeling.
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