Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook

by F.L. Fowler

Dripping Thighs, Sticky Chicken Fingers, Vanilla Chicken, Chicken with a Lardon, Bacon-Bound Wings, Spatchcock Chicken, Learning-to-Truss-You Chicken, Holy Hell Wings, Mustard-Spanked Chicken, and more, more, more!
 
Fifty chicken recipes, each more seductive than the last, in a book that makes every dinner a turn-on. 
 
“I want you to see this. Then you’ll know everything. It’s a cookbook,” he says and opens to some recipes, with color photos. “I want to prepare you, very much.” This isn’t just about getting me hot till my juices run clear, and then a little rest. There’s pulling, jerking, stuffing, trussing. Fifty preparations. He promises we’ll start out slow, with wine and a good oiling . . . Holy crap . “I will control everything that happens here,” he says. “You can leave anytime, but as long as you stay, you’re my ingredient.” I’ll be transformed from a raw, organic bird into something—what? Something delicious .
 
So begins the adventures of Miss Chicken, a young free-range, from raw innocence to golden brown ecstasy, in this spoof-in-a-cookbook that simmers in the afterglow of E.L. James’s sensational Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy . Like Anastasia Steele, Miss Chicken finds herself at the mercy of a dominating man, in this case, a wealthy, sexy, and very hungry chef.  

And before long, from unbearably slow drizzling to trussing, Miss Chicken discovers the sheer thrill of becoming the main course. A parody in three acts—“The Novice Bird” (easy recipes for roasters), “Falling to Pieces” (parts perfect for weeknight meals), and “Advanced Techniques” (the climax of cooking)— Fifty Shades of Chicken is a cookbook of fifty irresistible, repertoire-boosting chicken dishes that will leave you hungry for more.

With memorable tips and revealing photographs, Fifty Shades of Chicken will have you dominating dinner.

Genres: Cookbooks, Humor, Nonfiction, Cooking, Food, Adult, Reference

160 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2012

Reviews

[sarah سارة (slump free?) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nervously looking around to make sure nobody saw me read that.

Guys- what was that?

And why did I really like it?

That epilogue- 🤭

Miss Hen was hilarious. Chef was hot.

Like, really hot.😅

“There, in front of me, awaits a china platter garlanded with the most beautiful flowers I’ve ever seen. The table is set with exquisite china and silver flatware. Sweet music is playing on the stereo, the Dixie Chicks, I think. A flute of Cristal glistens in the candlelight. On another plate is a heap of garnishes topped with hearts of palm.
“You wanted hearts and flowers,” he says shyly.”

I'm not blushing, you're blushing.

But it was sooo hard to take this book seriously when something like this popped up.-

“He turns me away from him, leaving my backside totally at his mercy. Slowly and gently, he pushes something deep inside me. It’s a lemon from the marinade.”

WHAT???

I still loved it though. It was a silly little read and i was laughing at every single line.

5/5 🌟

[r ꨄ︎]

i cannot tell for the life of me if this is a cookbook or a romance novel PLEASE HELP

(edit: apparently it’s a sexy cookbook which i can definitely get behind tbh?)

[Steph Sinclair]

Wha... What? What is this?!

Surely this can't be real. Mr. President, I know you're super duper busy with trying to get re-elected, but spare a few minutes to way in on this. Please!

Do you have your listening face on?



Is this legit?



NOOOOO! What? What do you mean it looks funny?! Perhaps I should just read you a passage. That'll change your mind.

I want you to see this. Then you’ll know everything. It’s a cookbook,” he says and opens to some recipes, with color photos. “I want to prepare you, very much.” This isn’t just about getting me hot till my juices run clear, and then a little rest.

Well? What do have to say about that, Mr. President?



*smacks forehead*

Sam? Sam! I know you'll see reason. Prepare for torture!

There’s pulling, jerking, stuffing, trussing. Fifty preparations. He promises we’ll start out slow, with wine and a good oiling . . . Holy crap. “I will control everything that happens here,” he says. “You can leave anytime, but as long as you stay, you’re my ingredient.” I’ll be transformed from a raw, organic bird into something—what? Something delicious.



*weeps*

What is wrong with you people?! Is it me? Am I just not reading this right?

Like Anastasia Steele, Miss Chicken finds herself at the mercy of a dominating man, in this case, a wealthy, sexy, and very hungry chef.

Kill me now.

[Marvin · Rating 5 out of 5]

The first paragraph of the introduction...

How have I gotten myself into this? I glance around the spotless, meticulously organized kitchen: trussing twine, skewers, mallets - Is that a cleaver? Holy crap.

Thus starts the adventures of Miss Hen as her hot, passionate but firm chef takes her through 50 erotically delicious recipes.

This is easily the funniest cookbook I have ever read. It may also be the only cookbook that demands to be read from cover to cover. It may help if you've read or at least heard about Fifty Shades of Gray (who hasn't) yet the humor will be appreciated by anyone of a mature age. The recipes are listed under sub-headings like Mustard-Spanked Chicken, Chicken with a Lardon, Cream-Slick Chick and, of course, the inevitable Chicken Sub. Each one had its own introductory tease like this one for Dripping Thighs...

The way his apron hangs from his hips already has me all wobbly.But as he coats my thighs with a sticky liquid I can hardly contain myself. Is it the wine, or is my aroma starting to drive him crazy too?

and...

He spreads my thighs out on a plate. Sticky hands and at least five wet napkins. What will the housekeeper think. Who Cares?

That is part of the lead-in to the recipe I'm making tonight: Roasted Chicken Thighs with Sweet-and-Sour Onions.

The recipes all sound really great. Not too hard (no pun intended) but a little out of the ordinary. They are in portion of 2-4 servings to keep the nature of the intimate meal the book implies. There is a recipe for a favorite of mine; Erect Chicken...er...Beer Can Chicken...and if you ever made Beer Can Chicken you can already imagine the fun that the writer F. L. Fowler (That's his real name? yeah, right!)has with it.

So at the end of 2012, we not only have one of the best cookbooks of the year but one of the funniest books. Definitely worth a lick.

By the way, check out the book trailer that appears on the Goodreads book page which will give you a taste of its humor and is hilarious on its own.

Update: I made the dripping thighs aka Roasted Chicken Thighs with Sweet-and-Sour Onions). If all the recipes are this good the book will more than earn its five stars.

[Princess Kayla]

So a girl from work, let’s just call her B, decided it would oh so much fun to ask for Fifty Shades of Chicken for Christmas. I being her secret Santa just got her a gift card (which she used to buy it.) One day B decides to invite me over for “dinner” where we could hang out and I was supposed to help her cook. After some music and fun we pull out the cookbooks and low and behold Fifty Shades of Chicken falls out.
“Oh how bad could it be,” I thought to myself. Oh it was bad!
I am not amused



There were (ok they were hot) men rubbing and pulling on chicken, and recipes with sexy names that I cannot even repeat. All I can say is, THOSE POOR CHICKENS!!



Why why why. No I won’t go into detail, but my poor brain!

I mean ok yes at the idea of hot guys making chicken I was intrigued.



I mean come on, if this guy was cooking my kitchen and peering out my cookbook…



But why? The things they did to those poor chickens.
I will never look at chickens the same.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Are you a sadist?"
"No. I'm a Foodie."

So goes the relationship between Miss Hen, a chicken who has never even been seasoned, and Chef, he of the Fifty Knife Blades, who desires to have Chicken become his new Ingredient. Chef comes from a very sad past, wherein he was raised on tv dinners until being shown the way of cooking by the older Miss Child.
Chef does not make dinner. He cooks. Hard.

I dare you to read this and not laugh. This book is full of inside references - dark stares and gasps, inner goddesses, subconsciouses, and recipes like Taters, Baby - that snark up the entire plotline, and all written FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A CHICKEN. It is insanely clever parody.
As an added benefit, it is also quite a useful cookbook with recipes and illustrations that you guarantee you will always remember how to tress. It is a rare gem that could combine delicious ridiculousness with delicious cooking good enough for company.

In short, this book is excellent for
- people who enjoyed FSoG
- people who enjoyed making fun of the writing in FSoG
- foodies who can make fun of themselves
- anyone looking for ways to spice up their chicken recipes

[Caz (littlebookowl)]

Good thing I am a vegetarian. Just the title of this book has forever tainted chicken!

[Jocelyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got this glorious cookbook from one of my besties for Christmas. It’s been so fun this year eating ‘sexy chicken’. In an age where it’s easier to get a recipe online than it is to pull out a cook book, I use this all the time. I also call every single recipe “sexy chicken” when asked what I made.

[Greta Macionytė · Rating 3 out of 5]

Garsusis romanas „50 pilkų atspalvių“ sulaukė ne vienos parodijos. O ne vienam ir pati knyga pasirodė pakankamai komiška – viensluoksniai veikėjai ir fanfiction tipo romaniūkštis ne vienam kėlė šypsnį. Tuo tarpu leidėjai įrodė, kad su tinkama marketingo kampanija galima į bestselerių sąrašo viršų iškelti bet kokią knygą. „Fifty Shades of Chicken“ romano veiksmą perkelia į virtuvę. F. L. Fowler originalaus romano citatas puikiai įpina į gaminimo procesą, o pati knyga pilna puikių receptų, ką galima pagaminti iš vištienos. Vien dėl receptų ši knyga turi keliasdešimt kartų daugiau išliekamosios vertės nei romanas suaugusiems.http://www.jauti.lt/tarp-lentynu-7/

[Andrew Shaffer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook opens with the genius dedication, "For chicken lovers everywhere," and just gets lewder from there.

In addition to being a parody of "Fifty Shades of Grey"-style erotica written from the perspective of a young hen, "Fifty Shades of Chicken" is also a lavishly illustrated cookbook in its own right.

With titles like "Plain Vanilla Chicken" and "Steamy White Meat," the recipes are what makes this book more than a one-note joke or gag gift (pun intended). If only more cookbooks were this profane.

[Julie Salinas · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great gift for the friend who read the other 50 shades book. Then make them read the recipes out loud. They will turn as red as the tomato on your fridge shelf. The recipes are real, but the humor is delicious. The other must is to watch the video on you tube. *fans self*

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not having read the Fifty Shades books, I'm still finding this highly entertaining and hilarious. Plus, there's some yummy recipes in here. I like reading this during my lunch break.

Gorgeous photos...of Ms. Hen in her assorted positions, er, recipes and Blades (the chef). Each recipe has an intro that will have you giggling. I had to bookmark the how-to photos following the 'Learning to Truss You' recipe (Blades in action). NOW, I know what to do with the ball of twine in the kitchen drawer!

Food porn - yum.

[Michael Estey · Rating 5 out of 5]

A BOOK REVIEW
Fifty Shades  of: Fifty Shades of Chicken
a parody in a cookbook
FL Fowler

I received this book as a Christmas Present. A parody.  A funny cook book.
"Not another funny cookbook," I said. I fingered her. Carefully, slowly.
She was new!

"I'm sorry," I heard her say.  A woman! A skimpy picture of a chicken, on her belly.
Naked, bound in twine.
  
"Filth, trash." I laid her on her back.  A tattoo, on her foot~Note how round.
Faded and gray. Her cover, a beacon. "Open me. Please!"


"You're a book, you can't talk," I say. I got down on all fours, to put her back under the tree.

"I'm not porno, if that's what your saying!" She was skinny, dark in color. She flashed a leaf. 

I felt the smoothness of her skin, the straightness of her spine. She didn't resist.

I slid my fingers between her pages. I gazed at her cover. I flipped her over, and read her back. A man!

"You're young," I said.  "Not a wrinkle." Every page shiny and sleek. I felt their strength, their thickness.
Your spine, I want you, you're mine.

"Ouch," she said. "Not so fast."
Her corners, stiff, firm, untouched. Her smell, fresh, new. I spread my fingers, further.
  
Sensed her insides, what she wanted to give. Her cherry. What she was about. I took her in both hands.
"Stop, I'm a virgin."

I picked her up and cradled her.  All five fingers, inserted deep.  "You're not bathroom material." I said.

"I can be, please take me."
I pulled her in, pressed tight to my chest. "Yes, you'll do. Come my child. Come with me."  

"I'll be worth it," she says as... We disappear down the hall.

"Tell me, who is this FL Fowler, fucking you in the rear? Do you know him intimately?"

"He's fingered me too." The bathroom door slammed shut.

"My poor book, so young and fresh, open up and expose yourself to me." "May I call you,Miss Book?" I asked.

"Yes, you may."

"You look like a very sexy book, "I said.

"I've been read, many times, but not by someone with such strong hands," She says. 
"You are a man for books? No! That tingles, you holding me that way.  On your lap, the light so bright."

"My elbows resting on my knees. You like?" I ask. 

"Yes, take your time. Put on your glasses. All fifty recipes.
Take me, one page at a time.  All my picture parts. I can handle it.
You will be my first.

Look at my delectable delights. Savour the words.
Lets begin, open me. I'll show you everything. Feast your eyes."

"Open me." She says.

I grab her by the spine. Feel her binding. There is his name again.
On the cover, FL Fowler. "Who is this man?" I ask.

"Did he?"

"Don't be angry."
"He wrote me.  He took his time.

He's good. A teacher, a chef. Let me show you. Like this." She said.

She spread herself out for me. Her insides, exposed, Open me," She said, again.

"Can We See Each Other Again?" I asked.

"Certainly.  As many times as necessary."

"Will you leave me with a happy ending, Miss Book?" I asked.

"Of course, finish me off!" First.


I loved this book.  If not for the sheer, audacity.

Informative and very entertaining for a cookbook.
I'll give it two thumbs up.

Dog Brindle

[Abbie Foxton · Rating 4 out of 5]

My friend has got me pegged. I study erotica and I'm a chef, hence the reason why I hold Fifty Shades Of Chicken in my trembling hands.

The cover is adorable, all glistening in chiaroscuro, basting in rope work - curious to explore the darker realms. As a huge advocate of organic free range, I have an underlying fear it's been a big night for a certain chick. Her skin glowing warm, burnt trussing twine and a stupid grin makes me think a safe word may have been uttered by her sweet beak.

The photography is superb and if you aren't rolling your eyes laughing at the enticing positions, the text will certainly have you giggling - but don't let Fifty Blades see or hear you, (he'll be rubbing his buttered hands through his hair and cursing your insolence.

The recipes all seem tied and tested, easy to follow and quite yum. All titles will get a good rise with gems such as Roast Chicken w Vanilla Butter, Popped Cherry Poulet, Chicken w A Lardon and my favourite Chicken w Hearts & Flowers (fans of the trilogy will get all warm and fuzzy over that tasty dish). The in-between banter is clever, beautifully anthropomorphic and an irreverent homage to the phenomenon that E.L James produced. It's seductive but materialistic protaginist Blades is cut from the same dishcloth as Christian, and when he is standing in front of Hen with nothing on but a white apron and chef's torque, hers and my mind turns to gravy and one cannot help but lick our fingers. Overall the humour is paramount, especially when you see the climatic Vertical Roasted Chicken w Spicy Potatoes - you thought a St Andrews Cross was hardcore, merely chicken feed compared to this intense act.

"you like my collection?" he asks coolly.
"extraordinary. Like an artists tools" I say slowly. he cocks his head to one side and then the other. he looks at me in a way that sears my gizzards...

Breathe, Hen...

[Lindsay · Rating 2 out of 5]

The recipes will be worth a try and I get the whole piggy-backing on the "Fifty Shades" franchise deal. Guy Fieri would say "That's money!" because it truly is a clever idea. But a chef being pornographic towards poultry and getting a chicken hard-on is creepy as hell. I know it's intentionally written that way and am not lost on the parody of it. I just feel icky and now need a Silkwoods scrub down to get this out of my brain.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Reading this book makes me feel better that I was suckered in to reading the original EL James "Fifty Shades of Grey" trilogy. This book is so stupid, but it's MEANT to be stupid, so I enjoyed it. The James books are just stupid, period. I don't think the recipes included here are all that exciting. Most are just versions of roast chicken (kind of how all the "shocking" sex scenes in the "Grey" books are all the same). There were a few parts that made me laugh out loud. One exampe:

"He drags out a large cookbook. He opens it to some elaborate recipes, illustrated with shocking and explicit photos of ingredients, raw and cooked, in all kinds of appalling positions. This goes way beyond trussing. I'm simply speechless. Is this what he does - he tortures food?

"'You're a sadist?'

"'I'm a foodie.'"

I wouldn't recommend this book if you haven't read at least one of the "Fifty Shades" books, because a parody is worthless if you aren't familiar with what is being parodied. And I absolutely would recommend hitting yourself in the head repeatedly with a cast iron skillet before reading the "Fifty Shades" books if you have managed to avoid them so far. However, if you did read them, you might want to peruse this. It's good for a giggle or two.

[Sandi *~The Pirate Wench~*]

Well now... here you are all you Fifty Shades Of Grey lovers.
First curl up with the books,turn on the FSOG music..and drool over those succulant thighs..breasts..whatever.. your night is set up.
Oh my is that bird in bondage? This maybe a real interesting cookbook.
Personally III pass being a longtime Vegan it just wont fit into my eating plan. Oh..and I love the authors name..Fowler? An AKA you think? *snort* :D

[Erma Talamante · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full review coming soon. Check here for updates:
https://ermareads.wordpress.com

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

OMG besides the fact that the recipes are wonderful the imagery & stories in this parody cookbook! A must read for poultry lovers and housewives all the same.

[Zach · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well… that was an experience.

Side note: the recipes sound pretty good

[Kerry Crabbs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Food porn. Literally. 😂

[Diane · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have NOT read Fifty Shades of Grey, but I saw this on my library's website and thought it looked interesting. There are introductions to each recipe that are pseudo sexual and are apparently parodies of Fifty Shades of Grey. At times those can be funny and at other times are a little too much. The book names recipes in a sexual fashion before renaming in a conventional fashion.
The chicken recipes themselves focus on roasting whole chickens and/or using whole cut-up chicken. Honestly, only a few recipes were ones I do not already have in my chicken roasting repertoire. But those recipes are a little interesting - brandy and vanilla butter, roasting whole chicken over sweet cherries. Those ideas sound yummy. I made "Blushing chicken" (probably the most tame title in the book) which conventionally is roasted chicken legs with a cider and dried cranberry glaze. Everyone in my house liked the dish, and it will be a great addition to my fall/winter chicken recipe list.

[Kevin Magpoc · Rating 4 out of 5]

As weird as it seems to rate a cookbook without having yet tried any of its recipes, I think this can qualify as an exception to the rule.
Even ignoring the recipe portions, it's an entertaining read. It's one part "Fifty Shades" parody to one part "series of as many chicken puns as the author could think of" to one part recipes that are amazing even just for their photographic appeal value. Even the photos are cleverly suggestive!

Keep in mind that I am partial to chickens and puns, so adjust your expectations accordingly.

Oh, also...this may be the first cookbook I've encountered that would warrant a parental advisory warning.

[J · Rating 4 out of 5]

I haven't read, Fifty Shades of Grey, and I'm not really sure I want to. However, I do love chicken, I love cooking and I do enjoy this parody's humorous, nuanced delivery.

I am surprised that some people can pan the book without even having read it. The recipes are excellent, and just because someone finds the story line or recipes in FSOC interesting, doesn't make them guilty of having some sort of chicken fetish. I mean, come on folks!

Check it out and make an informed decision. You be the judge.

[Shamekia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is book is pun-o-graphic! And it seriously takes the idea of food porn to a whole new level. This has got to be on of the only cookbooks that I've read from cover to cover. I haven't tried the recipes yet, but a lot of them look good and pretty doable in my small small kitchen. Beware, the jokes are corny and you'll roll your eyes more than once. You also may never look at garlic bulbs or olive oil the same way again. You have been warned...

[Specialk · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is offside. The mini chapters are hilariously wrong, so so wrong. And the recipe names alone are worth a flip through.

As for the recipes themselves - pretty standard, solid chicken recipes. Nothing really too crazy, believe it or not. As a cookbook, 3 stars, as a parody, 5 stars, so we'll call it a 4.

[Despair Speaking]

I know. I know I shouldn't add this to my book list. But it looks hilarious and it's a cookbook for crying out loud! What harm can checking this out do? Plus, it might improve the cooking of a particular someone living in my house.

[Crystal · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a vegan I found the chicken corpse grotesque, but the parodic writing was hilarious enough to turn the page. Also, a half-naked chef, 'bondage' twine, strategically placed orange wedges, and the straightforwardly S&M-esque recipe names will make you moan--at the horribly wonderful satire.

[Zea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Is it weird that I find this book mouth watering and at the same time strangely arousing? XD
But damn the interactions between the chef and Ms. Hen were even hotter, naughtier and titillating than some of the erotica books I have read.