My Heart Forgets To Beat

by Philip Lee

MHFTB took me almost twenty years to write, and is dedicated to the memory of Sean Redmond, who was my mum's cousin. He volunteered for the International Brigade when the Spanish Civil War started, and was killed at Jarama. However, it's not his story, which was a tragedy. It's a picaresque romance, and – fgs – a bildungsroman. It explores why a working class man with a job and good prospects would go out and fight the fascists. Crucially, I wanted to avoid drawing too much on Orwell's book, Homage to Catalonia. Most volunteers simply didn't have his Eton education to look after them. I watched Ken Loach's film Land and Freedom after I'd finally finished writing, and I was relieved. The working class experience was generally quite different from Orwell's. What mars Loach's film is how he superimposes the one over the other. That's not to say the film isn't worthwhile, because of the poet Laurie Lee (no relation of mine) and his experience in the Spanish war. Oddly, I think the film might have been truer to life to if its “hero” had come from a sleepy Somerset village, rather than the political dynamite that was - and is - Liverpool.

465 pages, Paperback

First published June 25, 2012

About the author

Danger! Handmade prose and verse. Not commissioned, focus grouped, or sent back with demands from sponsors. The output of a single, warped mind. Don't read it on the train if you're prone to loud guffaws, groans or occasionally sobs. You have been warned.

Reviews

[Nancy Bevilaqua · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have to say it--although I've read some excellent "indie" books over the past few years, many with engaging stories, memorable characters, etc., it's relatively rare to come across one about which I think, "This was written by a real writer." Philip Lee's My Heart Forgets to Beat is one of those wonderful rareties. Every sentence, narrative or dialogue, just seems to roll out elegantly and effortlessly onto the "page" (unfortunately, I read the book on my Kindle). Lee's descriptions of settings--damp English seaside towns, the parched landscapes of Spain, or the colorful nonchalance of the Mediterranean coast, and others--are truly evocative. The reader can see, smell, and taste them.

I won't go into too much detail about the story, except to say that it's a well-drawn and insightful look into the gradual maturing of an intelligent, thoughtful man named Vaughan who is trying to figure out where he belongs and what's worth fighting for in the turbulent early decades of the 1900's. He's politically astute but often utterly baffled (as we all are) by the vagaries and unwritten rules of love, friendship, and social class. One aspect of the book that I found particularly interesting is that every episode of lovemaking described in the book seems to reflect the larger social and political climate of the time in which it takes place, as well as Vaughan's own progress in becoming a mature man.

I'm certain that quite a few political and cultural references in the book (not to mention some phrases in Welsh) were lost on me, although Lee writes with an authority that attests to his own knowledge of the European political climate in Europe in the early 1900's. For someone with similar knowledge and interests, My Heart Forgets to Beat would be even more satisfying, although the story and characterizations are engaging regardless.

At various times I was reminded of Hemingway (although I prefer Lee's writing style) and Fitzgerald (the latter particularly in terms of the protagonists' alternating fascination with and revulsion at the lives of the rich, and their naivete in that milieu) as I read. Need I say more?

[Philip Dodd · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Heart Forgets To Beat by Philip Lee I found to be a very enjoyable book to read. That Philip Lee is a poet as well as a novelist is revealed in his limpid prose and his good ear for the sound of words. When a poet writes a novel it is usually good, worth reading. Some novelists who are not poets try to write what is called poetic prose and create on the page what is neither good prose or fine poetry. Fortunately, Philip Lee is a true poet, as his prose proves. It flows on in mostly short, clear, often memorable sentences, and keeps the mind of the reader stimulated and interested. Though he has set his tale in the 1920's and 1930's, it has a timeless feel to it, for it is fundamentally about a man called Vaughan Thomas and what happens to him, as he grows from a boy to a man. Like all the characters in the novel, he is well drawn, likable in his own way, and always interesting. I particularly enjoyed the author's skill in describing landscape, which he sees with a painter's as well as a poet's eye. One of the most memorable parts of the novel for me was when Vaughan, in the company of Laura, both of them involved in the Spanish Civil War, wanders the countryside of Spain, looking for shelter, as bombs fall from the sky, and pause first by a hawthorn tree, then in a deserted monastery. The author's interest in history and politics gives depth to his descriptions of buildings and landscapes.
Another part of the book I really liked was when it followed the walk of Vaughan and his younger brother, when they were both schoolboys, in the countryside. I could relate to what happened to them very well. A deserted house was not just empty to them, it was haunted, an old woman who lived alone was not just an old woman, she was a witch, and, of course, they fish on private land, get into trouble with a gang of louts and yet survive. One of the things which pleased me about the book is that some of it is set in places I know, the streets of Liverpool, Crosby beach, and the sea side town of Southport.
Rather conveniently for Philip Lee, Vaughan, his main character, writes the odd poem when he grows up, as a hobby, and some of his poems bring the novel to an end, all of them as good as the prose. When I first looked at the illustration of the woman on the cover of the book, the word that came to my mind was saucy. At times, particularly when it explores Vaughan's encounters and relationships with women, the novel is saucy. It is cheeky, stylish and impudent. When Vaughan grows up, as everyone must, and becomes interested in and takes part in local and national politics, my attention waned a little, not being stimulated by such things, but the skilful prose kept me reading.
I have read some extracts of novels that are published nowadays that were more like works of journalism, merely reporting that this happened, then that happened, others like blocks of prose to base a film script upon, and not true examples of fiction as an art form, at all. To me, My Heart Forgets To Beat is a real novel, a true work of art, written by a poet who can write equally as well in prose as he can in verse.

[Lisa Marie Gabriel · Rating 5 out of 5]

She loves me, she loves me not... It's fiction, it's fact. Who knows? I wasn't quite sure by the end but what I was sure of was the quality of Philip Lee's writing. His story starts in the Spanish Civil War then moves back in time to become almost a coming of age novel. My Heart Forgets To Beat moves through wonderful prose and period accuracy to a surprising conclusion that I won't give away. (I hate long reviews that do that). Readers should expect British spellings, dialect and slang you may be unfamiliar with (some of it was certainly new to me) and a sprinkling of Welsh for good measure (some of which I recognised).

Accounts of time periods leading up to the Spanish Civil War are beautifully written, factually accurate and couched in language appropriate to the time. Even the accounts of lovemaking reflect the attitudes of the day and the growing maturity of Vaughan Thomas, whose story this is. High points were the descriptions of places, some of which I know well, like Skegness and the whole seaside landlady experience. It is a tragic tale although it is only the luxury of hindsight that makes it so. Characters are beautifully drawn and the poetry at the end is also poignant. Reading this book will give a little insight into British society of the early 20th century and I would recommend it to readers of literary fiction.

[Lorianne · Rating 1 out of 5]

Attempted to read this book, could not even get a 1/3 of the way through. Story line obscure and remote. It is a rarity that I do not finish a book, but this book was getting no where with me. If I could give a 1/2 a star, I would.