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If I'm Jewish and You're Christian, What Are the Kids? A Parenting Guide for Interfaith Families
In this book early childhood expert Andrea King tracks the development of two composite families through the life-cycle process and compares how well they manage the challenges that arise at each stage.
- GenresReligion
1 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 1993
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
April 5, 2013
this book is a valuable read and highly recommended among clergy to congregants who are engaged/ married to someone outside their faith and the topic of children has become a sticky one.
the author is a Christian woman married to a Jewish man, and uses her family background as an introduction to the book. Andrea King describes how she and husband Ben met in college, married, had a son, and raised him as a Jew following a conversion ceremony at infancy. the rest of the book chronicles two families, The Cohens and The Graysons, and how each fits religion into their daily lives.
the Cohens depict how a family chooses one religion for their unit. Sam is Jewish and Kathy is Presbyterian. their traditional families were initially concerned about the couple's differences: Kathy's family hoped for a church wedding and Sam's would have preferred he marry a Jewish woman. but the parents chose to accept the union regardless. Sam and Kathy have 2 sons, 8-year-old Danny and 5-year-old Zeke. they identify as Jewish, but understand that one set of grandparents is Christian and they go to their house to decorate the Christmas tree (which is common in interfaith families and even if children are raised Jewish it shows they have respect for non-Jewish family members and, contrary to naysayers, it doesn't dilute their religious identities). while some children at the boys' Day School school might disagree with their upbringing simply because their mother never converted to Judaism, the boys both know and feel their Jewishness. Sam and Kathy Cohen demonstrate a successful interfaith marriage and serve as a model for interfaith couples and families who choose to affiliate Jewish.
the Graysons depict the other end of the spectrum when a family chooses either both or neither religion. Sari is Jewish and Keith is Protestant. unlike Sam and Kathy, the families of these two weren't as comfortable with the differences. Keith's family took no issue with their son marrying Sari until her family pressured Keith to convert to Judaism. Sari's family took her decision to marry a Gentile very personally since a few of her relatives are Holocaust survivors. they bemoan her choice at every family function, at which Keith is rarely present at. the Grayson have 3 kids: 16-year-old Hannah, 12-year-old Charles, and 7-year-old Heather. each have their opinions about their parents' apathetic approach to religion: Hannah is upset that she has no religious identity and considers herself Agnostic. Charles is thinking of having a Bar Mitzvah and has discussed the matter with his Jewish grandmother who slowly realizes that not all is lost in the next generation, but still does not condone Charles' mother's marital choice. young Heather revels at the idea of celebrating both December holidays and getting double the presents now, but by the time she is her brother's age she might hum a different tune. Sari and Keith Grayson portray the difficulties interfaith couples face when they do not choose one religion for their family, thereby affecting not only their marriage but also their children and extended relatives.
the common consensus is that raising children in one religion (even if the parents are of two different backgrounds) is better as opposed to both or neither, because the latter tends to be more confusing. but every family is different, and a book like this will hopefully help guide them to whatever path they see fit as to how to raise their kids.
the author is a Christian woman married to a Jewish man, and uses her family background as an introduction to the book. Andrea King describes how she and husband Ben met in college, married, had a son, and raised him as a Jew following a conversion ceremony at infancy. the rest of the book chronicles two families, The Cohens and The Graysons, and how each fits religion into their daily lives.
the Cohens depict how a family chooses one religion for their unit. Sam is Jewish and Kathy is Presbyterian. their traditional families were initially concerned about the couple's differences: Kathy's family hoped for a church wedding and Sam's would have preferred he marry a Jewish woman. but the parents chose to accept the union regardless. Sam and Kathy have 2 sons, 8-year-old Danny and 5-year-old Zeke. they identify as Jewish, but understand that one set of grandparents is Christian and they go to their house to decorate the Christmas tree (which is common in interfaith families and even if children are raised Jewish it shows they have respect for non-Jewish family members and, contrary to naysayers, it doesn't dilute their religious identities). while some children at the boys' Day School school might disagree with their upbringing simply because their mother never converted to Judaism, the boys both know and feel their Jewishness. Sam and Kathy Cohen demonstrate a successful interfaith marriage and serve as a model for interfaith couples and families who choose to affiliate Jewish.
the Graysons depict the other end of the spectrum when a family chooses either both or neither religion. Sari is Jewish and Keith is Protestant. unlike Sam and Kathy, the families of these two weren't as comfortable with the differences. Keith's family took no issue with their son marrying Sari until her family pressured Keith to convert to Judaism. Sari's family took her decision to marry a Gentile very personally since a few of her relatives are Holocaust survivors. they bemoan her choice at every family function, at which Keith is rarely present at. the Grayson have 3 kids: 16-year-old Hannah, 12-year-old Charles, and 7-year-old Heather. each have their opinions about their parents' apathetic approach to religion: Hannah is upset that she has no religious identity and considers herself Agnostic. Charles is thinking of having a Bar Mitzvah and has discussed the matter with his Jewish grandmother who slowly realizes that not all is lost in the next generation, but still does not condone Charles' mother's marital choice. young Heather revels at the idea of celebrating both December holidays and getting double the presents now, but by the time she is her brother's age she might hum a different tune. Sari and Keith Grayson portray the difficulties interfaith couples face when they do not choose one religion for their family, thereby affecting not only their marriage but also their children and extended relatives.
the common consensus is that raising children in one religion (even if the parents are of two different backgrounds) is better as opposed to both or neither, because the latter tends to be more confusing. but every family is different, and a book like this will hopefully help guide them to whatever path they see fit as to how to raise their kids.
April 6, 2015
Interesting perspective.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews