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How Not To #5
How Not to Date a Bear
One night of passion, and Gillian’s life is a Mafia movie. That’s what you get when you date a bear.
Declan Batalova is a bear unlike any other. After brokering a deal that will keep his people safe in their new country, the Russian shifter goes for relaxation in a new club that caters to bears.
Cosmetologist Gillian Leekey is a woman on a mission. She loves big, muscular, hairy men, and Declan is perfect in every way.
But after one night of passion, the Bear Shifter Mafia is declaring war at her front door! When did life get so complicated? But that’s what happens when you decide to date a bear.
Declan Batalova is a bear unlike any other. After brokering a deal that will keep his people safe in their new country, the Russian shifter goes for relaxation in a new club that caters to bears.
Cosmetologist Gillian Leekey is a woman on a mission. She loves big, muscular, hairy men, and Declan is perfect in every way.
But after one night of passion, the Bear Shifter Mafia is declaring war at her front door! When did life get so complicated? But that’s what happens when you decide to date a bear.
- GenresShapeshiftersErotica
76 pages, ebook
First published March 30, 2012
27 people want to read
About the author
Stephanie Burke
162 books126 followersStephanie is a multi published multi award-winning wife and mother of two whose unparalleled imagination causes her no end of trouble. From sex shifting shape-shifting dragons to under sea worlds, up to sexually confused elemental fey and homo erotic mysteries, all the way to pastel challenged urban sprites, Stephanie has done it all, and hopes to do more.
Stephanie is co-founder of the charitable organization Write 4 Hope, Co Creator of the Japanese Culture and Anime Convention Mikomicon, Home-school Mom, English Tutor, an Orator on her favorite subject of writing and world building, a sometimes teacher when you feed her enough coffee and donuts, an anime nut, a costumer, and a frequent guest of various sci-fi and writing cons where she can be found leading panel discussions or researching more and varied legends and theories to improve her writing skills.
Stephanie is known for her love of the outrageous, strong female characters, believable worlds, male characters filled with depth, and interracial that make the reader sit up and take notice.
Stephanie is co-founder of the charitable organization Write 4 Hope, Co Creator of the Japanese Culture and Anime Convention Mikomicon, Home-school Mom, English Tutor, an Orator on her favorite subject of writing and world building, a sometimes teacher when you feed her enough coffee and donuts, an anime nut, a costumer, and a frequent guest of various sci-fi and writing cons where she can be found leading panel discussions or researching more and varied legends and theories to improve her writing skills.
Stephanie is known for her love of the outrageous, strong female characters, believable worlds, male characters filled with depth, and interracial that make the reader sit up and take notice.
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
July 22, 2012
Reviewed for Booked Up
To See Review at Booked Up
Gillian likes big men with hair so when she sees Declan, she decided to have him and do unspeakable things to his body. So she attaches to his front like a baby koala and decides to not let him go.
With her face buried in his neck, licking and nibbling at his flesh, she’d never been happier. And what was better was the large bulge of his cock, heated and growing, pressed against her.
“You want to let me go?”
“No.” On that she was firm. She was not letting go of her sweet treats until she had him where she wanted him.
The trip into the house was a blur because she buried her face in his neck and busily attempted to put as many hickeys there as she could. Marking her property, she thought with an evil smirk.
After a night of wild sex, she uses the instruments from the box she had from her many-times-great-grandmother, who had run from Russia because her family didn’t approve of her mate. She brushed and then sheared the hair from his body. It had silver, so when he shifted he looked skinny and pitiful.
When his second in command came to talk to Declan because of a problem they have with the territory they claimed, he tells them that Gillian is Declan’s mate and she smells of grizzly bear.
I really love this story! I couldn’t stop laughing while reading it; Ms. Stephanie Burke did a hell of a good job fusing humor, romance, and a very attractive shape shifter. And I love when he explains what being a mate means for him:
“And what does being a mate mean anyway?”
“It means --” She squeaked as the shower door opened and a naked Declan stepped in. “It means that I would never hurt you. That I will always protect you, with my life if need be. It means that you are the one to carry my children, the one to be a balm to my soul while I uplift and protect yours. It means you are the perfect match for me physically, mentally, and spiritually.” He moved in and took her into his arms, ignoring the water that plastered his black hair to his head and ran into those intense green eyes. “It means that you are mine, Gillian. Mine, a gift to me from the heavens, and I will do anything to keep you.”
Isn’t it so romantic? You can't miss this book! 5 stars
To See Review at Booked Up
Gillian likes big men with hair so when she sees Declan, she decided to have him and do unspeakable things to his body. So she attaches to his front like a baby koala and decides to not let him go.
With her face buried in his neck, licking and nibbling at his flesh, she’d never been happier. And what was better was the large bulge of his cock, heated and growing, pressed against her.
“You want to let me go?”
“No.” On that she was firm. She was not letting go of her sweet treats until she had him where she wanted him.
The trip into the house was a blur because she buried her face in his neck and busily attempted to put as many hickeys there as she could. Marking her property, she thought with an evil smirk.
After a night of wild sex, she uses the instruments from the box she had from her many-times-great-grandmother, who had run from Russia because her family didn’t approve of her mate. She brushed and then sheared the hair from his body. It had silver, so when he shifted he looked skinny and pitiful.
When his second in command came to talk to Declan because of a problem they have with the territory they claimed, he tells them that Gillian is Declan’s mate and she smells of grizzly bear.
I really love this story! I couldn’t stop laughing while reading it; Ms. Stephanie Burke did a hell of a good job fusing humor, romance, and a very attractive shape shifter. And I love when he explains what being a mate means for him:
“And what does being a mate mean anyway?”
“It means --” She squeaked as the shower door opened and a naked Declan stepped in. “It means that I would never hurt you. That I will always protect you, with my life if need be. It means that you are the one to carry my children, the one to be a balm to my soul while I uplift and protect yours. It means you are the perfect match for me physically, mentally, and spiritually.” He moved in and took her into his arms, ignoring the water that plastered his black hair to his head and ran into those intense green eyes. “It means that you are mine, Gillian. Mine, a gift to me from the heavens, and I will do anything to keep you.”
Isn’t it so romantic? You can't miss this book! 5 stars
March 10, 2015
If you are looking for a nice quick read full of passion and laughter, then look no further thanHow Not to Date a Bear by Stephanie Burke. This story is fifth in the How Not to series and can be read as a standalone. I can’t honestly say that I found a hairy anything sexy beforeMs. Burke managed to make it not only sexy but desirable as well. I loved that Gillian was determined to find a man who had a nice pelt. It needed to be a nice balance and I found myself laughing as she went about finding that right mix. And Declan’s patience with her was downright admirable. I mean she made demands and expected him to just show her the goods. And once she found him to her liking, boy watch out! I found myself fascinated by Gillian’s thought process and almost fearful as to what would come out her mouth next. Then I would just shake my head as I eagerly read on. I am a fan of Ms. Burke’s writing and Gillian and Declan reminded my why that is. This was a well written and wonderfully quick read.
Five Shooting Stars
Five Shooting Stars
August 24, 2020
Well written story full of drama, action, twists and steam
Oh my goodness! This new-to-me author had me laughing out loud and fanning myself from the heat while madly flipping the pages of this entertaining story. So much fun to follow Gillian and Declan on a journey to love - and self discovery ;) This fast paced read had all the details, twists, plot and characters to make this a one-sit read for me that I was loathe to finish. I need more! I will definitely be checking out more of this author's work and highly recommend this humourous and steamy read.
As a side note, the copy I have has a different and less provocative cover ;)
Oh my goodness! This new-to-me author had me laughing out loud and fanning myself from the heat while madly flipping the pages of this entertaining story. So much fun to follow Gillian and Declan on a journey to love - and self discovery ;) This fast paced read had all the details, twists, plot and characters to make this a one-sit read for me that I was loathe to finish. I need more! I will definitely be checking out more of this author's work and highly recommend this humourous and steamy read.
As a side note, the copy I have has a different and less provocative cover ;)
August 23, 2020
A funny story that will have you laughing out loud. The story was entertaining, full of passion, great chemistry and likeable characters. Declan is a polar bear shifter and is trying to find a safe place for his people. He is the king of this line. One night in a club he meets Gilligan and they have an connection and an amazing night and their journey begins. A enjoyable read.
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I am voluntarily leaving a review.
February 28, 2023
This is sexy as most of the 'How to' books tend to be but also incredibly funny. I wish there were pics of Declan so we can see how Burke wanted him truly portrayed. The 'How to' books I've read so far have been short and left me wanting more but in this case, it was just the right amount. That's not to say though that this story couldn't have been fleshed out and our characters given a more richer story.
October 6, 2020
DNF. I read four chapters. Though funny, certain things pulled me out of the story. Certain things that felt didn't belong. Like female character grooming male's chest hair in middle of night. Certain details didn't add up.
January 30, 2014
Gillian Leekey loves big hairy men. She has a thing about bears and when she goes to the club and runs into Declan Batalova she knows she has to have him. She tells him to take his shirt off so she can see his chest. Declan tells her that he's a bear but she really doesn't get it.
Declan is from Russia and is a polar bear shifter. He is the king of his line and he wants to move away so that he can get out of the mafia that is going on. He wasn't expecting to run into the woman that would light him on fire.
This book was pretty funny. You have to read it to see what happens to Declan. Gillian does something to him that will you laugh out loud. I can't wait to read more books by this author.
Declan is from Russia and is a polar bear shifter. He is the king of his line and he wants to move away so that he can get out of the mafia that is going on. He wasn't expecting to run into the woman that would light him on fire.
This book was pretty funny. You have to read it to see what happens to Declan. Gillian does something to him that will you laugh out loud. I can't wait to read more books by this author.
July 28, 2012
Uhh sorry couldn't really get into it. not that there was alot to get into. H/h had a 2 sentence conversion and then a 4 page discription of the the H, I had to go back 4 pages to find out what she was responding to in the conversation. the rest was OK but meeehh
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews