A psychologist explores the potentially devastating impact of anger on relationships, discussing six different types of marital discord in which couples can become ensnared and how to understand and break damaging behavior patterns. Simultaneous.
As usual, I picked up The Angry Marriage because relationship books fascinate me. This book offers a variety of different types of people/marriages - who they are, what they do, why they do it - and how to identify which one (or more) you are.
I enjoyed that part of the book. It was interesting to see the different types and how they differ.
However, everything is rooted in childhood, according to this book. No matter where your anger is directed or what it does, it's based in childhood. I have to strongly disagree with that, as I do with any book that suggest we all have an "inner child" to heal that was so hurt, so put out, that they express it now as a confused, pained adult.
I am one of the people who does not have an inner child to fix. I didn't have a childhood like these "other" adults - mine was what dreams are made of. Any issues that I have, have come from situations in my adult life, which can be shown with a timeline: before said Situation, I didn't have any issue even remotely close to what I had after said Situation. I recognized that, my doctor recognized that, and we continued on.
There is a lot of repetition in this book. That's understandable as people skip around a lot when they read, usually only reading what they think pertains to them. However, most people will read a book from cover to cover, and after awhile their eyes glaze over from being told the same thing several times.
That happened to me and I knew the time had come to hunker down and finish this book. Hunker down I did, and what I came away with is this:
This is an older book in this world, so the ideas are pretty basic across the board. If you're in a relationship (read: not married couples only), ya gotta talk to each other. Be honest without brutality (seriously, don't be a jerk). Be a lover and a friend. Listen with your ears, not your mouth (I say this all the time, it's my favorite). Love, honor, protect and (here's the clincher), LIKE your spouse/SO.
The Angry Marriage takes a lot of time describing different dynamics, but the "fixing" parts are very short, almost as an afterthought. I didn't like that; I prefer an even amount, or even a 60/40 split between explaining something and then how to change it. This one seemed to be more of a 80/20 split, too drastic for my taste.
All in all, this book isn't bad. A lot of people could find themselves here and have some great insight into their marriages and changing it for the better. The usual nuggets are here.
This is a book I'd recommend more to beginners of this genre or someone in the first stages of fixing a marital/relationship between issue. For someone down the road more, this book can serve as a refresher, as something to read or material added to your arsenal of marital advice and ideas. It's definitely not a bad book, but it isn't one that really stands out to me, either.