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Dr. Ruth's Guide to Talking About Herpes
In 1980, when Dr. Ruth's New York radio show debuted, herpes has just hit the headlines. When the show went live a year later, many of the questions people asked her were about this surging sexually transmitted disease. A short while later, AIDS was making headlines and herpes was relegated to the media back burner. But while there's no denying that AIDS is a much more serious STD, herpes has done its share of damage and today it is estimated that nearly 60 million Americans are infected with this disease. What's more, there are over one million newly diagnosed cases of herpes each year. This book is not only for people who have just discovered they have herpes, but also for the millions of Americans who are living with herpes and want a game plan for talking about their disease with fellow herpes sufferers, loved ones, and potential lovers. Structured throughout the book, in addition to Dr. Ruth's no-nonsense advice, are quotes from people who are living with herpes that Dr. Ruth interviewed at length for this book. Each chapter concludes with a list of helpful pointers or highlights summarizing the main points discussed within that chapter.
Dr. Ruth deals with the basics of herpes first - what it is, what kinds of herpes there are (HSV-1, which is responsible for cold sores, and HSV-2 which is responsible for genital herpes), how herpes can be transmitted, and walks you through the stages of infection (initial outbreak, latency period, and subsequent outbreaks). What makes herpes so transmittable is that 90% who are carrying the virus aren't even aware they are carrying it. Finally, Dr. Ruth explains how to prevent herpes transmission and the various kinds of herpes therapy available.
Subsequent chapters offer helpful pointers on how to come to grips with herpes emotionally, and how to learn to take charge of your treatment, which can be difficult when faced with apathetic or misinformed doctors and a wealth of bogus or misleading information that people believe about herpes and herpes transmission.
The centerpiece chapter of the book is "The Talk" in which Dr. Ruth walks you through the various hypothetical situations you are likely to encounter when you tell someone you have herpes (sympathy, confusion, anger, denial) and how to deal with each emotion by giving whomever you're talking to the appropriate kind of information they will need to deal with the news (herpes is contagious and incurable but not life threatening, condoms reduce but do not entirely eliminate the risk of transmission, etc.). Peppered throughout this chapter (as they are throughout the book) are quotes from people that Dr. Ruth interviewed for this book that have herpes and in this instance have actually had "the talk" themselves. These quotes offer a running commentary throughout the book that allow readers to balance the advice Dr. Ruth offers vs. how the situation actually plays out in real life (sometimes Dr. Ruth's advice plays out exactly as she predicts, but in some cases, her advice doesn't offer much help or solace, or actually improve the situation, and she is quick to point these inconsistencies out).
Because this is a Dr. Ruth book, it wouldn't be complete without information on how to maintain a normal and active sex life while living with herpes. With today's suppressive therapies and medication, one can substantially reduce the chance of transmitting herpes to another person. Support groups also offer the opportunity to meet fellow people with herpes as well as offering a safe environment with which to meet new people to date.
In addition to offering specific advice on how to deal with herpes when talking within specific groups and in specific situations (how to talk to your children about herpes, and how to talk about the disease if you're a senior, or gay), Dr. Ruth concludes the book with a lengthy chapter on additional STDs and explains how each one is caused or transmitted, and what you can do to protect yourself against each disease. Two helpful appendixes can be found at the back of the book, listing where to find a support group near you, as well as listing websites that offer supplemental information to what's listed in the book.
Dr. Ruth deals with the basics of herpes first - what it is, what kinds of herpes there are (HSV-1, which is responsible for cold sores, and HSV-2 which is responsible for genital herpes), how herpes can be transmitted, and walks you through the stages of infection (initial outbreak, latency period, and subsequent outbreaks). What makes herpes so transmittable is that 90% who are carrying the virus aren't even aware they are carrying it. Finally, Dr. Ruth explains how to prevent herpes transmission and the various kinds of herpes therapy available.
Subsequent chapters offer helpful pointers on how to come to grips with herpes emotionally, and how to learn to take charge of your treatment, which can be difficult when faced with apathetic or misinformed doctors and a wealth of bogus or misleading information that people believe about herpes and herpes transmission.
The centerpiece chapter of the book is "The Talk" in which Dr. Ruth walks you through the various hypothetical situations you are likely to encounter when you tell someone you have herpes (sympathy, confusion, anger, denial) and how to deal with each emotion by giving whomever you're talking to the appropriate kind of information they will need to deal with the news (herpes is contagious and incurable but not life threatening, condoms reduce but do not entirely eliminate the risk of transmission, etc.). Peppered throughout this chapter (as they are throughout the book) are quotes from people that Dr. Ruth interviewed for this book that have herpes and in this instance have actually had "the talk" themselves. These quotes offer a running commentary throughout the book that allow readers to balance the advice Dr. Ruth offers vs. how the situation actually plays out in real life (sometimes Dr. Ruth's advice plays out exactly as she predicts, but in some cases, her advice doesn't offer much help or solace, or actually improve the situation, and she is quick to point these inconsistencies out).
Because this is a Dr. Ruth book, it wouldn't be complete without information on how to maintain a normal and active sex life while living with herpes. With today's suppressive therapies and medication, one can substantially reduce the chance of transmitting herpes to another person. Support groups also offer the opportunity to meet fellow people with herpes as well as offering a safe environment with which to meet new people to date.
In addition to offering specific advice on how to deal with herpes when talking within specific groups and in specific situations (how to talk to your children about herpes, and how to talk about the disease if you're a senior, or gay), Dr. Ruth concludes the book with a lengthy chapter on additional STDs and explains how each one is caused or transmitted, and what you can do to protect yourself against each disease. Two helpful appendixes can be found at the back of the book, listing where to find a support group near you, as well as listing websites that offer supplemental information to what's listed in the book.
224 pages, Paperback
First published September 27, 2004
About the author
Ruth Westheimer
69 books141 followersKarola Ruth Westheimer, better known as Dr. Ruth, was a German-American sex therapist, talk show host, author, professor, and Holocaust survivor.
Westheimer was born in Germany to a Jewish family. As the Nazis came to power, her parents sent the ten-year-old girl to a school in Switzerland for safety, remaining behind themselves because of her elderly grandmother. They were both subsequently sent to concentration camps by the Gestapo, where they were killed. After World War II ended, she immigrated to British-controlled Mandatory Palestine. Despite being only 4 feet 7 inches (1.39 m) tall and 17 years of age, she joined the Haganah, and was trained as a sniper, but never saw combat. On her 20th birthday, Westheimer was seriously wounded in action by an exploding shell during a mortar fire attack on Jerusalem during the 1947–1949 Palestine war, and almost lost both of her feet. Moving to Paris, France two years later, she studied psychology at the Sorbonne. Immigrating to the United States in 1956, she worked as a maid to put herself through graduate school, earned an M.A. degree in sociology from The New School in 1959, and earned a doctorate at 42 years of age from Teachers College, Columbia University, in 1970. Over the next decade, she taught at a number of universities, and had a private sex therapy practice.
Westheimer's media career began in 1980 with the radio call-in show Sexually Speaking, which continued until 1990. In 1983 it was the top-rated radio show in the area, in the country's largest radio market. She then launched a television show, The Dr. Ruth Show, which by 1985 attracted 2 million viewers a week. She became known for giving serious advice while being candid, but also warm, cheerful, funny, and respectful, and for her tag phrase: "Get some". In 1984 The New York Times noted that she had risen "from obscurity to almost instant stardom." She hosted several series on the Lifetime Channel and other cable television networks from 1984 to 1993. She became a household name and major cultural figure, appeared on several network TV shows, co-starred in a movie with Gérard Depardieu, appeared on the cover of People, sang on a Tom Chapin album, appeared in several commercials, and hosted Playboy videos. She is the author of 45 books on sex and sexuality.
The one-woman 2013 play Becoming Dr. Ruth, written by Mark St. Germain, is about her life, as is the 2019 documentary, Ask Dr. Ruth, directed by Ryan White. Westheimer had been inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame, and awarded the Magnus Hirschfeld Medal, the Ellis Island Medal of Honor, the Leo Baeck Medal, the Planned Parenthood Margaret Sanger Award, and the Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany.
Westheimer was born in Germany to a Jewish family. As the Nazis came to power, her parents sent the ten-year-old girl to a school in Switzerland for safety, remaining behind themselves because of her elderly grandmother. They were both subsequently sent to concentration camps by the Gestapo, where they were killed. After World War II ended, she immigrated to British-controlled Mandatory Palestine. Despite being only 4 feet 7 inches (1.39 m) tall and 17 years of age, she joined the Haganah, and was trained as a sniper, but never saw combat. On her 20th birthday, Westheimer was seriously wounded in action by an exploding shell during a mortar fire attack on Jerusalem during the 1947–1949 Palestine war, and almost lost both of her feet. Moving to Paris, France two years later, she studied psychology at the Sorbonne. Immigrating to the United States in 1956, she worked as a maid to put herself through graduate school, earned an M.A. degree in sociology from The New School in 1959, and earned a doctorate at 42 years of age from Teachers College, Columbia University, in 1970. Over the next decade, she taught at a number of universities, and had a private sex therapy practice.
Westheimer's media career began in 1980 with the radio call-in show Sexually Speaking, which continued until 1990. In 1983 it was the top-rated radio show in the area, in the country's largest radio market. She then launched a television show, The Dr. Ruth Show, which by 1985 attracted 2 million viewers a week. She became known for giving serious advice while being candid, but also warm, cheerful, funny, and respectful, and for her tag phrase: "Get some". In 1984 The New York Times noted that she had risen "from obscurity to almost instant stardom." She hosted several series on the Lifetime Channel and other cable television networks from 1984 to 1993. She became a household name and major cultural figure, appeared on several network TV shows, co-starred in a movie with Gérard Depardieu, appeared on the cover of People, sang on a Tom Chapin album, appeared in several commercials, and hosted Playboy videos. She is the author of 45 books on sex and sexuality.
The one-woman 2013 play Becoming Dr. Ruth, written by Mark St. Germain, is about her life, as is the 2019 documentary, Ask Dr. Ruth, directed by Ryan White. Westheimer had been inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame, and awarded the Magnus Hirschfeld Medal, the Ellis Island Medal of Honor, the Leo Baeck Medal, the Planned Parenthood Margaret Sanger Award, and the Order of Merit of the Federal Republic of Germany.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 10 reviews
March 5, 2026
I was infected with HSV last 2 years ago, I tried all I could but nothing worked. I came across a post of someone testifying of be cured from Hsv. I thought to myself this is it, I have to try again. Then I came in contact with Dr. his product is amazing. I tried it within some days and my symptoms started closing up, I was so happy noticing this changes. After two weeks I went for a test result and it came out negative. All thanks to Dr. you can as well reach out to him via website: https://fulldetoxtea.weebly.com/
March 16, 2026
I used Dr. Alumailu's herbal products for my genital herpes. Trust me, they were all honestly amazing and effective with no side effects. I was completely cured from genital herpes after taking Dr. Alumailu's herbal medicine as Instructed. I'm so happy to share my testimony and experience with everyone. Keep on saving lives, Dr. Alumailu I'm so proud of you. Kindly get connected with him now. If you need any help you can email him at dralumailu@gmail.com
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March 5, 2026I have got the best news ever, I just got my test result today and it is saying I am HSV negative. I am so happy and my best regards to Dr for his wonderful product, thank you so much sir order now via website https://fulldetoxtea.weebly.com/
Displaying 1 - 3 of 10 reviews