Adoption and Loss - The Hidden Grief

by Evelyn Burns Robinson

This book poignantly and thoroughly describes the losses experienced by all of those whose lives have been affected by adoption and the grief that they suffer. The book is based on the author's personal experience as a mother who lost a child through adoption and her experience as a social worker who is employed in the area of post-adoption counselling. The book graphically describes the disenfranchised grief associated with adoption and suggests ways in which that hidden grief can be acknowledged and confronted. The author explains how both her personal and her professional experiences have led her to the conclusion that alternative care for children in need must no longer include adoption.

250 pages, Paperback

First published September 16, 2000

Reviews

[Linda L. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Evelyn Burns Robinson has written an excellent description of the effects of adoption loss on mothers like me who were unable to process our lifelong grief until engaging in reunion with our lost children. She is right that the need to deal with our buried grief is the unconscious impetus for seeking reunion. My experience proves her right, and though the grief was hard to go through, it has proven so healing. I'm grateful to have had Robinson's book to help me make sense of so much.

[Steph · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think I would give this book 4.5 stars only because I'm not sure that I share the author's view that adoption is inherently wrong. Then again, I've never had to go through an adoption of my own child. The author's story is powerful and I admire her willingness to be so open and honest about her experience. I thought the structure of the book, with the author's own story as the introduction to an enlightened discussion of the impacts of adoption on the mother and child, was an incredibly helpful framing device that gave authenticity to the narrative and impact to the description of feelings shared by people in adoptive situations. I think this book would be helpful to anyone who has been a part of adoption or who just wants to understand the experience better. It would probably be hard to read this book as an adoptive parent, but it might also be helpful.