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Inside Intermarriage: A Christian Partner's Perspective on Raising a Jewish Family
The author of Inside Intermarriage is a Christian father helping his Jewish wife raise Jewish children. Together, they have made many tough decisions. It's no secret that interfaith marriages are complicated, especially when both partners are connected to their own religious faiths and communities. Using humor and insights gleaned from his own experience, Keen provides couples with practical advice and solutions for how to give children a clear Jewish identity while maintaining a comfort level for both parents. Any family, no matter what the faiths of its individual members, can find his approach relevant. Interfaith homes come in all shapes and sizes; no two are alike. However, the foundations that will help them thrive are the same, and Keen's straightforward ideas are sure to help. This book also includes perspectives from professionals who work with interfaith families.
- GenresReligion
116 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 2006
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
March 10, 2013
When an interfaith relationship gets serious, a call to clergy may follow. "I'm Jewish. She's not. We're in love. And we're not sure what to do."
I hear it often. As a rabbi, I recognize the delicacy of the situation: It's a balance of Jewish communal integrity, Jewish continuity, romantic ties and family bonds. My counsel can be a multi relationship-breaker.
Of course, some couples figure things out on their own - conversation with clergy not required. Others need professional assistance to reach an accommodation. For many, Detroit Jewish News columnist, Jim Keen's Inside Intermarriage: A Christian Partner's Perspective on Raising a Jewish Family will be a valuable resource as it is for anyone concerned about Jewish peoplehood, intermarriage and outreach.
Writes Keen, an Ann Arbor resident: "It's purely frightening to be in love with someone so much, yet also to have this nagging feeling that your union will implode because of your religious differences. Don't lose hope, though. It is possible for the situation to be successfully resolved." Keen well recognizes the potential complexity of an interfaith marriage, especially one like his - Jim, a Protestant, and Bonnie, a Jew, each kept their birth faith.
Inside Intermarriage is a gently told story of one couple's journey, uniquely written from the perspective of a Christian father living in a Jewish home: "I am a Christian dad helping to raise a Jewish family." And he adds, "Interfaith homes come in all shapes and sizes. No two are alike." Each couple builds the household that is right for them, clumsy as the process may be.
Keen reveals how he and his wife-to-be decided that neither would convert, that children would be raised in one faith only, that the faith would be Judaism, that he would retain his Protestant belief and practice, that all family members - children-to-be included - would participate in the religious lives of the others, all the while honoring their own faith commitments.
And just what do the girls think when they go to a Protestant service with their father? "This is Daddy's Church; they go to a synagogue." And he sweetly describes his encounters with Jewish holidays, Shabbat, the lifecycle, Jewish culture and Jewish attitudes toward intermarriage, all intertwined as an inviting, easily read introduction to Judaism.
When religion looms as an insurmountable obstacle, Keen shows how one couple worked it through with the support of loving family and attentive clergy. This couple finds childcare, friendship and volunteer opportunities at the Jewish Community Center and religious education and spiritual life at the synagogue. We quickly realize that their achievement is thanks, in large part, to their willingness to turn to outside personal and institutional resources, people and organizations that are really there for them.
Each brief chapter is punctuated by a "Postscript," practical advice offered by a Jewish professional. One Postscript offers pointers on maintaining warm relationships with parents: caution the family of origin not to jump to conclusions about the couple's religious future, offer reassurance about continuing commitments to all relatives, emphasize commonality rather than differences, talk in person rather than over the phone or by e-mail, and sooner is better than later.
Folks, like me, who marry and live comfortably in the birth religion, sometimes fail to recognize the bravery it takes to walk into an unfamiliar house of worship, all the while wondering, "Yes, I am in love with a person. But is this place for me?" In Keen's words, "It's purely frightening." Our visitors summon courage; what is our response? How will we reciprocate, all the while recognizing that the future of our people is at stake? Jim Keen's story in Inside Intermarriage shows how we can welcome the stranger and, at the same time, serve Jewish integrity and Jewish continuity.
I hear it often. As a rabbi, I recognize the delicacy of the situation: It's a balance of Jewish communal integrity, Jewish continuity, romantic ties and family bonds. My counsel can be a multi relationship-breaker.
Of course, some couples figure things out on their own - conversation with clergy not required. Others need professional assistance to reach an accommodation. For many, Detroit Jewish News columnist, Jim Keen's Inside Intermarriage: A Christian Partner's Perspective on Raising a Jewish Family will be a valuable resource as it is for anyone concerned about Jewish peoplehood, intermarriage and outreach.
Writes Keen, an Ann Arbor resident: "It's purely frightening to be in love with someone so much, yet also to have this nagging feeling that your union will implode because of your religious differences. Don't lose hope, though. It is possible for the situation to be successfully resolved." Keen well recognizes the potential complexity of an interfaith marriage, especially one like his - Jim, a Protestant, and Bonnie, a Jew, each kept their birth faith.
Inside Intermarriage is a gently told story of one couple's journey, uniquely written from the perspective of a Christian father living in a Jewish home: "I am a Christian dad helping to raise a Jewish family." And he adds, "Interfaith homes come in all shapes and sizes. No two are alike." Each couple builds the household that is right for them, clumsy as the process may be.
Keen reveals how he and his wife-to-be decided that neither would convert, that children would be raised in one faith only, that the faith would be Judaism, that he would retain his Protestant belief and practice, that all family members - children-to-be included - would participate in the religious lives of the others, all the while honoring their own faith commitments.
And just what do the girls think when they go to a Protestant service with their father? "This is Daddy's Church; they go to a synagogue." And he sweetly describes his encounters with Jewish holidays, Shabbat, the lifecycle, Jewish culture and Jewish attitudes toward intermarriage, all intertwined as an inviting, easily read introduction to Judaism.
When religion looms as an insurmountable obstacle, Keen shows how one couple worked it through with the support of loving family and attentive clergy. This couple finds childcare, friendship and volunteer opportunities at the Jewish Community Center and religious education and spiritual life at the synagogue. We quickly realize that their achievement is thanks, in large part, to their willingness to turn to outside personal and institutional resources, people and organizations that are really there for them.
Each brief chapter is punctuated by a "Postscript," practical advice offered by a Jewish professional. One Postscript offers pointers on maintaining warm relationships with parents: caution the family of origin not to jump to conclusions about the couple's religious future, offer reassurance about continuing commitments to all relatives, emphasize commonality rather than differences, talk in person rather than over the phone or by e-mail, and sooner is better than later.
Folks, like me, who marry and live comfortably in the birth religion, sometimes fail to recognize the bravery it takes to walk into an unfamiliar house of worship, all the while wondering, "Yes, I am in love with a person. But is this place for me?" In Keen's words, "It's purely frightening." Our visitors summon courage; what is our response? How will we reciprocate, all the while recognizing that the future of our people is at stake? Jim Keen's story in Inside Intermarriage shows how we can welcome the stranger and, at the same time, serve Jewish integrity and Jewish continuity.
September 1, 2017
Nothing new here.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews