Mummy Diaries, Or, How to Lose Your Husband, Children and Dog in Twelve Months

by Rachel Johnson

Rachel Johnson's hilarious take on life as a yummy mummy in West London and on Exmoor has been making her newspaper readers chortle for the last couple of now they are seamlessly turned into a diary of her year, from the dog's birthday party in January (games of Paws-the-Parcel) to the June sports days (where the mummies turn up at the school sports day in sports bras and running shorts with little back packs containing high energy drinks - and that's just for them) to summer on Exmoor hosting demanding visiting ponies.

Paperback

First published September 1, 2005

About the author

Rachel Johnson is a British editor, journalist, television presenter and author based in London. She lives in Notting Hill, London with her husband. They have three adult children.

Librarian’s note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Reviews

[Lynne · Rating 1 out of 5]

If this book were fiction like Momzillas then perhaps it could raise a smile and you'd think 'no one could be like this surely'! Then you realise it's not fiction - it's real!! It's probably one of the most irritating books I've ever read! The author, a writer, and mother to 3 hideous children, writes a diary of her year. It highlights all the worst things about modern life - over parenting, yet with badly behaved and rude children, snobbishness, and the need to have your children go to the right £20,000 a year school - what can they teach them for that price - I'd expect my child to leave at least as a Nobel Peace Prize winner or a genuis like Einstein! Anyone remotely normal and working class could never relate to this woman and I for one am glad I don't!! The writer comes across as shallow, lazy, whiny, disorganised, despite having nannies and au pairs, and obsessed with trivialities! If you don't want to raise your blood pressure then avoid this at all costs!!

[Lindsey · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author of this book is sheltered, bratty, whiny as hell, and a horrible mother. She relates tales of her youngest son, who is 6, wandering about in the neighbors' houses watching their tv and raiding their pantries. The point of the story is supposed to be that her son is a bit demanding but all I was thinking is that she is an AWFUL mother to have a full-time nanny and STILL manage to lose her child. Though to her, when her six year old is out wandering the surrounding homes in her neighborhood she doesn't consider him lost, she is perfectly fine with it. She whines about making a "real" breakfast for her children, when the nanny will clean up her mess and it isn't like she has a job anyway. She loses two of her children in the course of the year by straight up not paying attention to where they are and then feels sorry for herself that the police must think she is a terrible mother. She whines about how her poor dog feels useless because she is spayed and she doesn't have a job like the dogs on tv. I am not making that up, this insane woman apparently believes that!! This book is meant to be a light, humorous read, but it made me very agitated. This woman is incapable of taking care of herself, and with a full-time nanny AND a house cleaner, she is incapable of being ANY kind of decent parent. I feel sorry for her children.

[Gothmummi · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. as a working class mum, I thoroughly enjoyed this satirical piss take of the upper middle class mother. a woman so sheltered, so privileged and so bloody useless, she can't cope 'flying solo' despite a cleaner and all three of her kids being in school. She absolutely must get an au pair sorted! even with a mother in law, a team of midriff baring babysitters, the cleaner and the au pair, she still manages to lose 2 of her kids. how i chuckled.....what? she's real?! SHE'S BORIS JOHNSON'S SISTER AND ALL THIS IS TRUE?!
I have literally just found this out in reviews, then I googled to be sure. I honestly thought this was written by a middle class mum with a sense of humour, who'd witnessed this kind of insanity herself and combined many stories into one character. so I had to change my 3 star review ( despite my enjoyment, i too had to flip bad To remind myself of the characters and the font is stupidly large, obviously to make up for lack of content, I think this review is longer than the whole book) to a 1 star. as a comic tongue in cheek poke at the posh, brilliant, but real life? shocking. really shocking.

[Karschtl · Rating 1 out of 5]

A mother who is staying at home, has an Au Pair and a cleaning woman and still complains that she has too much to do... *rolleyes*

It's not a coherent story but rather short columns. And while they might be good for publishing in a magazine, it's not enough for a whole book in my opinion. I did miss a storyline there.
Apart from that I didn't find it funny, there was not a single page or even sentence that made me laugh.

[Avery · Rating 1 out of 5]

Horrible

[Rachel Brand · Rating 1 out of 5]

Awful! I didn't even manage to finish this. The main character (who apparently is a real person?) had such a shallow and sheltered life that I don't know how her publisher expected the average woman to relate to her. I'm sure there was a whole chapter in this book about how the woman felt bad for get her cat neutered, because it meant that the cat could never experience the joy of having babies. SHE'S A CAT! The rest of it was all about nannies and elaborate kids birthday parties and ponies, and it was all so BORING. I don't how Carol found this book interesting - both me and my mum hated it.

[Neveen · Rating 1 out of 5]

The cover of this book greatly glamourized what it contains unecessarily. You would think it is about a mother's life and packed with drama and comedy, but it isn't. It is just a boring diary with details that no onw wants to know. The book is written in a seemingly funny way but has no actual funny content at all. I am not opposed to the fact that she is a rich mother who has many privileges and a relatively easy life but still complains about it. I just don't see the point of the book even after finishing it to the last word!

[Arpita · Rating 2 out of 5]

It isn't nearly as funny as the description promises. The writing ranges from brilliant to mediocre to pathetic. One keeps waiting for something to 'happen'. Albeit it is a 'diary', and nothing spectacular must necessarily take place in daily life in a span of a year. Yet one feels as if there is no agenda or clear thought in laying the happenings down into a book.
The family's role is poorly developed, peripheral and inconsistent. The sub title is completely removed from the contents of the book.
Best browsed in one sitting. Not worth more than that.

[M-n · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting enough light reading

[Catherine · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought that this was a fiction book but have discovered it wasn't. It was an ok book if it was fiction as you think maybe there is some person out there that is a complete idiot to the real world. Now discovering that this is based on her life you can't believe that this person exists and rather than it being based in several people it's actually based in just the one. I don't plan on reading this book again

[Anne · Rating 2 out of 5]

Fun read, hilarious at times. Is this mom even real???

I'm still buying these British Chick Lit novels with the hope of reliving the hilarity and uber-popular coolness of Fielding's Bridget Jones Diary. But so far, haven't found the right book yet that will match if not exceed my expectations of the penultimate Brit novel.

[Mark Farley · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a giggle, if a bit scrappy and shoved together during the editing process. I lived in Notting Hill at the time, so it was entertaining and the characters and absurdities of W11 showed throughout. Notting Hell was much better though.

[Josie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great shitlit book, nice & light just what I needed.

[Katy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved this! An easy read but very funny.

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

Just couldn't get into this book at all so only read a little.

[Sheana · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very very bad.