Footnotes to Sex

by Mia Farlane

May Woodlea is a champion procrastinator - the 3 a.m. failure in us all. She is not writing the proposal for her PhD. She lives in a grotty bedsit with her long-suffering partner Jansen. She is plagued by her unforgivably cheerful younger sister Elizabeth.

How will May find purpose in her life and escape the daily grind? Can May and Jansen rescue their relationship from a seeming eternity of grudge-holding, competitive tiredness, imagined slights and absolutely no sex? And what will happen when a glamorous, domineering French writer and an old flame of Jansen's come on the scene?

Footnotes to Sex is a painfully funny novel about procrastination, double-chocolate biscuits, the importance of commitment and what happens in relationships when the sex isn't happening...

Genres: Lesbian

247 pages, Paperback

First published March 5, 2009

About the author

Mia Farlane’s first novel Footnotes to Sex(Viking/Penguin), was praised in The Observer for its ‘keen emotional intelligence’; Sarah Waters describes the writing as ‘subtle, smart and very funny’; and Bidisha, as ‘Seinfeld meets Dorothy Parker’.

Mia Farlane worked for several years at Southbank Centre’s National Poetry Library and is now writing full-time.

She is a translator-contributor in No, Love Is Not Dead: An Anthology of Love Poetry from Around the World (Chambers, 2021).

A member of The Society of Authors and NZSA PEN. @MiaFarlane.

‘Are You Okay? (A Writing Event)’, her creative nonfiction in Moxy Magazine, explores the boundaries between author and character in her novel on suicide.
https://moxymagazine.org/are-you-okay...

Reviews

[Kiwi · Rating 1 out of 5]

A) I don't know where this title comes from - I found no footnotes and no sex. Given that the title caught my eye, I was disappointed.

B) Most books I read because I enjoy a character. I did enjoy the main character's lover and sister and even mentor. However, what kept me reading this book was hatred of the main character and hope that SOMEHOW there would be this amazing personal growth to be found by the end of the book, a redeeming character arc. I got to the last page and no, not a touch, not a bit. I suppose it makes a statement of its own, but in general I was highly displeased.

C) I have never been so ashamed to share ANY characteristics with a main character before. I have never been so fed up with a main character before.

D) I couldn't find one redeeming characteristic. I cannot understand what potential or pleasant qualities any of the other characters saw in this main character. I'm shocked her main love interest DIDN'T leave her - who wants to be in a relationship that is made up ENTIRELY of bickering brought on by one person, who also does not respect anyone enough to just listen (whether just shutting up, or taking someone's words and following through with them). I don't understand why her mentor put up with her.

E) I would be ashamed to lead my life the way the main character does. Part of the reason I took this book home from the library after I saw the title was that I am presently working on (procrastinating on) a dissertation. If I ever treated my supervisor the way the main character treated hers, guilt would eat at me until I took action. If I treated a lover the way the main character does, I would hope to be told. I had hoped through part of the book that everyone leave her to make a statement, but I realised that would only strengthen the main character's philosophies of life and make her more unbearable.


I have never read a novel in which I appreciated all the supporting characters and consistently wanted to tear the main character apart. It was a frustrating experience, but I feel stronger for making it all the way through (something the main character doesn't seem capable of). No sympathy for someone so mean and passive-aggressive and whiney and childish without the ability to apologise at all authentically.

I did enjoy the writing and often the dialogue. I found the writing nice. I suppose that's why I was so disappointed.

[Nicola Doherty · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book, feel sad at all the negative reviews! It's a simple, short story about a couple that's slowly unravelling … but there's a happy ending. I think anyone who's ever done a long, lonely creative project will identify with the narrator, who's hiding from her PhD … I found her neuroses very entertaining but maybe that's just me. Also loved her happy-go-lucky sister Elizabeth. Give it a go!

[SgJuliaKristeva · Rating 1 out of 5]

Good writing on a bad story.

I think Farlane can write well. She has a real knack for dialogue and aptly showcases her impeccably well-timed humour but oh my gosh what a nightmare this story was to read.

Main character May wants to do a PHD about a renown female French author who writes about lesbianism and queerness. The problem is that May hasn't begun her PHD. In fact, she hasn't even enrolled in a university and gotten herself an advisor to whom her work must become accountable to.

This lack of progress in her PHD (emotional avoidance, really) eats into May's life. Her own partner, Jensen, puts up with all this because Jensen is a fucking amazing human being and she is also a cool queer woman who's served in the army before her current job as a chauffeur. Yet, Jensen is at her wits end because this whole relationship is being centred around May and her issues with her PHD. The woman even goes down to Paris every so often to meet the very woman she wants to study academically, and yet finds it extremely difficult to even register for her PHD. The most progress she ever has with the damn thing is a casual browse through university catalogues to see what programmes and classes are offered that could potentially help her research.

The entire book was, bluntly put, 250-ish pages of Jensen trying to be a supportive partner while May meets her idol under the pretence that she has already embarked on her PHD. Jensen and May are bickering all the time (read: Jensen explodes when she's fed up and points out that things could get better if May just fucking gets to work, while May gets defensive and feels very attacked). I kid you not, the book even ends with a scene of May and Jensen going on a cruise (one of May's many attempts to try and salvage her relationship with her partner) and being unable to relax because May laments she didn't bring her reading materials for her damn PHD.

Help la. My brain died reading this.

I only finished the book because I felt like every so often it is good for my own character development to push through and finish a book I did not enjoy so that I get to learn from bad writing.

[Gemma Sutherland · Rating 1 out of 5]

The reviews of the people who also gave it one star sum up this book for me. “My brain died reading it” and “I only persevered because I felt it good for my own character development to push through something bad”. I’m upset, and feel so mislead by the title, regardless of sex or no sex. It was not at all funny.
“Good writing on a bad story” - a pity! Oh well. Onto better more enriching reads.

[Trish · Rating 2 out of 5]

Failed the 100 page test. I'm really disappointed by this book. It has so much going for it to indicate it's going to be a good read - it's published by a major publisher, has a quote from Sarah Waters on the front cover calling it "very funny", has lesbian characters who aren't coming out, a plot about a flailing PhD on a French writer - and yet I found it so dull (characters, dialogue, plot, kit & caboodle) that I couldn't continue past page 100. Is there some wildly witty literary joke/subtext that I missed?

[Anne Goodwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A poignantly comic novel about fandom, procrastination, the silence that speaks volumes in many long-term couplings, and the pain of lacking the confidence to know what you want. https://annegoodwin.weebly.com/1/post...

[Carla Kington · Rating 2 out of 5]

The main character is really grating and unlikable. She is annoying, clingy, self concious and insecure. You hope that after the climax things in her relationship improve but both of the characters are emotionally invested in other people and you never really learn why they are with eachother. There is no chemistry even at the end it seems like they are together out of convenience.

[Charlotte · Rating 1 out of 5]

I struggled to read this one.

Didnt enjoy the style, the main character, the french or the plot.

Was hoping for more, found the blurb and title misleading.

perhaps I just couldnt relate to her enough.

[Tessa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I managed to finished but found the book inconsequential

[Anya · Rating 1 out of 5]

I DNF it after 30 pages... WTF?! Misleading title, hated the main character from the beginning, don't like the writing style or the French that is randomly thrown into the text. Not worth my time.

[Libby · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read this for book club and was very disappointed. The author is a master of dialogue - it seems as though a majority of the book is conversation. However, it isn't entertaining dialogue; unless, of course, you think two people in a relationship constantly bickering and arguing, one in particular always starting fights, is entertaining. Clearly the main character, May, was going through a lot, but I have very little sympathy for her. May's hoping to earn a PhD by doting and obsessing over - sorry, studying the works of - a French author who writes about gender. May only seems to think and stress about this PhD and never actually works on it. Sure, we've all been in a situation where we procrastinate on a big task, feel guilty about it yet continue to procrastinate (and maybe take it out on others). However, about 100 pages in, I was ready to tell her to shit or get off the pot. It just gets old, and frankly, a little tiresom.

It's one thing to be worried and stressed and take things out on others - we're probably all guilty of it - but she is never sorry for what she says and how it hurts her partner, Jansen. In fact, even when she knows she's being hurtful or mean, she continues with it; rather than openly apologising, she'll change the subject, continue on her quest to be annoying and needy, or occasionally say a short and meaningless "Sorry." Once she even said to Jansen after an unresolved argument, "You can cuddle me if you want." ...Is that passive demand an apology?

This book has affirmed a few things for me: that people who whine and moan do not necessarily deserve any sympathy and that I could never, ever date a woman. It also affirms my personal opinion that some women use "pre-menstrual" moods as an excuse for being rude to others. We all get cramps, don't use it as an excuse to demean your partner (and if you do, by all means own up to it, even if it's b/c of hormones).

This is, I think, the author's first book, so I may be offending her on it (and I'm hoping it isn't autobiographical). She's got great writing skills and as said an incredible feel for dialogue, but there is a need for a better topic and something beyond the bickering.

[Nicole Campbell · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hated this book and the pathetic main character. I only finished reading the book because it was the only book I took with me when I went away for work.

I often choose a book by the cover and not the storyline and I must admit the cover design and title captured me as soon as I saw it. Like the other reviewers said there was no sex and no footnotes so I have struggled to understand the title of the book.

I found the main character to be very painful and her lesbian lover wasn't much better. The sister was bearable and the older French writer was neither here nor there.

I would not recommend this book, the story is boring, there is no dramatic climax and I found myself wishing that something bad would happen to all of them before the book ended but much to my dismay nothing exciting happened at all! Don't waste your time with this one.

[Lee_wa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I seriously can't think of a reason to recommend this book. It is slow, tedious and tiresome! I think if you are a conservative english woman it might be somewhat enjoyable or you might identify with a character. Why did I read it? I just expected more and it never came. The lead character could not be more annoying if she tried. Without the title I can't imagine anyone picking it up. True there is not "footnote" and there is definitely no sex! They are vey British. There's lot of hot tea and scones. Don't waste your time.

[Nathan · Rating 2 out of 5]

The trials and tribulations of a passive-agressive, procrastinating lesbian intellectual and her slightly more down-to-earth and practical girlfriend. The main character here is very unlikable. Very. And nothing happens to their relationship for all the angsting (which, given the several references to Nick Hornby during the book, may be a nod to High Fidelity). Rated PG for adult themes and minor coarse language. 2/5

[Luisa Gough · Rating 2 out of 5]

Was drawn in by the cover and title (I do know what they say about judging a book on those traits). I did not enjoy the story or any of the characters. Was there much of a story? It seemed to be more about the banal existence of horrible boring whiney women. Made me feel a bit suffocated. But, the writing was quite good.

[Colt Wentworth-Browne · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was completely drawn in by the blurb on the back of the book - it was witty, quirky, and funny. I assumed the book would be as funny. I was wrong.

It started off really well and I was initially really invested in the main character, May. However, as the book progresses she becomes more and more argumentative, whiny, and so very annoying. I persevered, but was relieved when it ended.

[Yeewei Cheo · Rating 2 out of 5]

no footnote
no sex
dreary main character, but I think anyone who aspire to pursue higher education can identify with her.
I see myself in both jansen and may
I guess may is named after dismay, because each time she speak that's what I feel.
lovely mentor and sister, no wonder may feels like she pale in comparison.
may is always comparing..
not an easy read, realistic yes - plot

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Almost pitch-perfect vacation reading, even though I identified a wee bit too much with the neurotic PhD-obsessed narrator, which made me nervous when I should be relaxing. But where are the footnotes?

[Beginnercath · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't like this book at all. I got to page 34 after 2 days (the time it takes me to read most books) and couldn't bear to continue. I found it hard with the French thrown in and couldn't get into the story line.

[Kat Colorado · Rating 1 out of 5]

boring - I won't finish it. I seriously can't stand May, her constant whining and total lack of energy!

[Mufidah · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hard to understand what is going on at the beginning. Rather dry to me. But finished it anyways.

[Iona]

May is truly one of the most agonising characters I have ever come across. Got through this quite quickly which was a blessing.