When a Spouse Dies: What I Didn't Know About Helping Myself and Others Through Grief

by Barbara R. Wheeler

You don't have to experience grief to know how to support the bereaved---but it helps. Psychotherapist and social work professor Barbara Wheeler offers a unique four-dimensional perspective of expertise that she uses to help others through times of grief---therapist, educator, personal experience, and interviews with others. Learn how to recover from and grow through loss, as Dr. Wheeler helps you through the journey to find comfort and relief.

104 pages, Hardcover

First published February 14, 2012

Reviews

[Nate · Rating 4 out of 5]

How do you rate a book? While this won't win any literary prizes for its moving prose, the information is valuable and the examples quite clear.

I read this with a desire to gain a better insight into what people go through when they lose a spouse; I have very little experience with death of someone real close to me. Two things in the book stood out to me:
1- Don't assign people the identity of being bereaved, as in "she's the one whose husband died". How would I like to have my life and identity so narrowly defined?
2- An attempt to help, even if you're unsure how, is better than no attempt at all.

As the author points out, having not been bereaved of a spouse, I don't know what it feels like. But I can still 'be there' for someone who has lost a spouse.

[Rae · Rating 4 out of 5]

A brief, but useful, look at the complex grieving process after the death of a spouse. The author is a therapist who has counseled many widows and widowers. When her own husband died, she realized that there was much she did not know--even with all her training.

What I have found the most useful in my own situation is her counsel to live in and enjoy today and just lean into tomorrow. This prevents the panic that can ensue when one tries to contemplate the future without your spouse.

A short and useful read. Perfect for the short attention spans that seem to accompany grief.

[Wendy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really liked this one a lot. It was a quick read with many ideas and thoughts that resonated with me. Although the author lost her husband at a much older age, I thought she did an excellent job of making the book relatable to other types and circumstances of loss.

[Angie Workman · Rating 4 out of 5]

The perfect gift for someone who has lost a spouse, no matter what stage of life he/she is in!

[Amy Cottrell · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some interesting insights but in general, this book feels a little too clinical.

[Spring · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of the books on grief that I've read lately, this is the one that has helped me the most.