Crackcoon

Crackimals #1

by Gary Lee Vincent

Crack kills!

When a synthetically-altered street drug is discarded in the woods by a drug dealer during a car chase with police, the fallout proves nothing less than horrific when an innocent raccoon eats it, transforming it into a nightmarish killing machine straight from the bowels of hell.

With unsuspecting campers, tourists, and residents of a mountain community all in close proximity to the epicenter, no one is safe from the monster's unrelenting rampage.

this book contains language and literary depictions of scenes some readers may find offensive. It is not intended for children. Reader discretion is advised.

124 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 27, 2023

About the author

Gary Lee Vincent was born October 8, 1974, in Clarksburg, WV, USA.

Gary is an accomplished author, actor, musician, film producer, director and entrepreneur. In 2009, he founded Burning Bulb Publishing to help promote up-and-coming authors. In 2010, his horror novel Darkened Hills was selected as 2010 Book of the Year WINNER by Foreword Reviews Magazine.

Books by Gary Lee Vincent:

NOVELS
- Attack of the Melonheads (with Bob Gray and Solon Tsangaras)
- Belly Timber (with Solon Tsangaras and John Russo)
- Passageway
- When the Bedposts Shake
- The Best Actors That Ever Lived
- Impound
- Hell's Bells (ongoing)

THE BLACK CIRCLE CHRONICLES
- Prove Your Love
- Strange New Powers
- Night Wings
- Sheep Amongst Wolves
- Lord of the Birds

DARKENED - THE WEST VIRGINIA VAMPIRE SERIES
- Darkened Hills
- Darkened Hollows
- Darkened Waters
- Darkened Souls
- Darkened Minds
- Darkened Destinies

THE DOUGLAS RIVER VAMPIRE SERIES
- River
- Icarus (coming soon)

ANTHOLOGIES (as Contributing Editor)
- The Big Book of Bizarro
- Westward Hoes
- Rise of the Dead

NON-FICTION
- The Winner, The Loser
- Agelations: Unlocking The Secret Strategies of the Rich To Help You Succeed In Business & in Life
- Configuration Management

COMIC BOOKS
- The Tailsman (with Rich Bottles Jr. and Stuart J. Brown)
- Demoneye (with David J. Fairhead and Little Sun)

As a musician, he started into vocal music early in life through choral programs at both church and school. While in High School, he was honored as an All-State bass vocalist. Gary began playing the guitar and writing songs at age 13, attained BMI accreditation at age 14, and had his first Billboard Music Review at 23.

In 2005, Gary won Song of the Year for best Christian song Where Would I Be in the VH1 Song of the Year competition, a program that supports the VH1 Save The Music charity. Said song appears on Gary Lee Vincent's Somewhere Down The Road release.

Musical releases by Gary Lee Vincent:
- 100 Percent
- Passion, Pleasure, and Pain
- Somewhere Down The Road

In addition to music and literature, Vincent's hobbies include acting, exotic travel, hiking, and photography.

Reviews

[Lisa1269]

Sometimes you just need to know.

[Beyond the Bottom Shelf]

In Crackcoon, the first installment of his Crackimals series, author and man of many talents Gary Lee Vincent assaults readers with the baffling narrative of a collection of moronic characters (including horny college students, incompetent cops, desperate addicts, and a quick-tempered forest ranger) colliding with a rabid, drug-crazed raccoon at a local campsite. Despite the outrageous scenarios the characters find themselves in, the story ultimately remains mired in mediocrity. The attempts at humor often fell flat, relying too heavily on shock value and crude jokes, often at the expense of women. Apparently, a screenplay version of this story was created in conjunction with the book, so perhaps some of the silliness and schlocky mess that didn’t quite hit the mark in the text will find their stride on the big screen!

Beyond the Bottom Shelf on Spotify: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sh...

Beyond the Bottom Shelf on YouTube: https://youtu.be/nlvjCTAnUyA?si=vAP1o...

[Love to Read · Rating 2 out of 5]

Simplified summary:
Raccoon + super crack = crackcoon.

Opening lines:
These sorts of illegal meetings always took place in the same kinds of nondescript locations. In this case, on this Thursday evening, in an alley.

Review:
What the hell did I just read?! This was a "so bad it's good" kinda read that overshot and landed back in bad. But I'll be damned if it didn't get a handful of chuckles out of me. Unsurprisingly gorey, over-the-top ridiculous, and a kind of book that if it were a movie, I wouldn't be surprised if it developed a cult following.

[Mythical Mike · Rating 1 out of 5]

Please heed my warning: this is not a quick fun, schlocky b-rate horror read to mix in with your TBR. This is just bad.

I listened to the audiobook, and while I didn't love the narrator, I was cringing listening to her perform the writing. The story itself is a 2/5 for me. The story execution and literal written content is a 0.5/5 for me.

This isn't a 'oh how bad can it be'. BUT that being said, I respect that someone paid for this to be created. And I am blown away that there is a whole Crackimals series. I won't begrudge anyone getting their bag of money. But damn.

[Jeremy · Rating 3 out of 5]

🤦🏻‍♂️🤣🫣🤣

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ummmm.........
Unsure what to say about this one. It was good, fast, and short. I laughed through the whole book.

I will read the next one. And the one after that.

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Could have used a little bit of editing but the found this to be a quick enjoyable read.