Growing Up Observed: Tales from Analysts' Children

by Herbert S. Strean

This fascinating book features the writings from therapists’children--ranging in age from seven to over eighty--as they explore how they feel about their parents and themselves. Observe the emotional health of analysts’children, whether they are more mature than children whose parents are in other professions, what their unique difficulties and strengths are, and how they relate to the people around them.

102 pages, Hardcover

First published September 30, 1987

Reviews

[Lee-anne Organ · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really quick, fascinating book that was at times disturbing. There are some really lovely and amusing comments from young children, 14 year old Vanessa says that having a mother for an analyst has advantages and disadvantages “she makes pretty good money so she really doesn’t have to worry about the price of things (even though she does), and she can help people too.” She complains about getting in trouble for telling a patient who called the house that her mother was eating, “ Well she threw a fit! So far this girl knows my mom has a son and a daughter, she eats at night and takes baths. Now the treatment might not work.” She says that it could be worse, she could have a baseball player for a mother.

One family had three analysts, grandmother, mother and father. These lucky or unlucky children said they never agreed on anything except for their view that being born to a family with 3 analysts is hard. 15 year old Alison says, “I’ve become so sick of psychotherapists that I don’t want anything to do with them.” Eight year old Jordan agrees with his older siblings but adds, “Sometimes I think I will become an psychotherapist anyway.”

A more common complaint seemed to be the long hours kept by Analysts. Seven year old Amy laments about missing her parents who are both analysts and says, “ I don’t think it’s fair and I would like both my Mom and Daddy to be home more”.
There are also chapters by the adult children of analysts, some of whom are not very complimentary of their parents child rearing and others who may have felt at times intruded upon by their parents unnerving ability to ‘see’ into their minds and the minds of their friends, on the whole feel the balance was well negotiated.

The book is a very short one and it includes a number of chapters by analysts that are, not as compelling perhaps, as the words of the children. The last chapter is by the editor Herbert S Strean, who edited the book and who includes his son’s views in the collection. Perhaps not surprisingly, Herbert son has little criticism of his father’s parenting! Herbert however has some very interesting words to say about his work with children of psychotherapists, and it is not very complimentary. This is quite a fascinating chapter and I found myself having quite a strong reaction to his descriptions of analysts seeking help for their children. There is a sense that their children’s illnesses are experienced as a narcissistic injury to the parent and the parents insist on secrecy and a strong desire to not be included in the treatment. He says initial consults followed an almost identical pattern, parents called to discuss something “very personal” or for a “special favour” and insisted they could not possibly attend his office for a consultation as it was “inappropriate “. Instead they wanted to meet in their own office, their home or a restaurant. When they did speak with Herbert they spoke jargonistically about their children having “repressed hostility and a powerful super ego” or unresolved oedipus complex. The child often got on well with the therapist, the issue, Herbert was told, seemed to arise in a difficulty with their spouse. They were uncomfortable discussing developmental history and didn’t want to be involved in treatment.

I found the book fascinating and I would have loved to hear more stories from children of analysts.