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We're Not Blended, We're Pureed: A Survivor's Guide to Blended Families
When a second marriage includes children, it often can lead to a less-than-fairy-tale life. This book uses humor to approach the often emotionally charged issues in blended families. Both authors provide useable methods for what to say when words dont come. Short, captivating chapters are perfect for those rare moments parents have to themselves.
- GenresParenting
228 pages, Paperback
Published July 1, 2011
1 person is currently reading
162 people want to read
About the author
Diana Lesire Brandmeyer
41 books182 followersDiana Lesire Brandmeyer is a CBA and ECPA best-selling author of Christian historical and contemporary romance. Her Montana Territory frontier stories and modern-day faith journeys feature women who face their fears and discover God's perfect plan. With nineteen published novels across three series, Diana's books blend adventure, faith, and unforgettable love stories.
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
October 15, 2011
We’re Not Blended We’re Pureed – Review by Martha A. Cheves, Author of Stir, Laugh, Repeat and Think With Your Taste Buds
A circle is a symbol of unity, eternity, and completeness. The wedding ring represents eternal love and the persistently renewed promises of a couple. Some Scandinavian women wear three bands: one each for engagement, wedding, and motherhood. In medieval England, a bridegroom would slide the ring partway up his bride’s thumb, index, and middle finger, saying “In the name of Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit,” as he slid the ring up each finger. He then placed the ring on the next available finger, the third finger of the left hand. Today, the wedding ring is an easily identifiable indication of marital commitment. Luanne and her husband-to-be had special matching gold bands made for all members of their blended family. The family members exchanged the rings during the couple’s wedding ceremony.’ (I loved this idea!)
If you have ever been married, had children and then found yourself single again, no matter what the reason, this book is for you! Author Diana Lesire Brandmeyer and Co-Author Marty C. Lintvedt (a licensed, nationally certified professional counselor), through the writing of We’re Not Blended We’re Pureed have given us a list of what to expect, what not to expect and what you might never have dreamed of expecting, if you take your family and combine it with another. They cover everything from how to plan the wedding, while including the kids to which home is the most practical to take up residence in. Diana, through her own experience, as well as the experiences of others, walks you through the emotions that you may find yourself feeling, those that your soon-to-be or already new spouse may feel, and just as importantly, the feelings the children may be feel. And she doesn’t stop there!
Some of the topics brought to light are simple things such as…do I take my kids to your dentist or their own dentist or do find a new one for all of them? Same with pediatricians. In her own experience, she moved over an hour away from her home as well as her 2 son’s old fashioned doctor who didn’t mind being called in the middle of the night. Her new stepson’s pediatrician is stuffy and makes her feel incompetent when asking questions. And since she did agree to move into her new husband’s home, what happens to her own home? Can they afford the upkeep on both or should they sell hers? And how does she make his home hers? Since the house originally belonged to he and his deceased wife, there are memories in every nook. Can she change these and start new memories?
And then there are the kids themselves. Diana, who also lost her husband, has 2 sons. Her new husband has 1. Her sons follow a routine requiring them to be in bed at set times at night and rising early. Her stepson is quite the opposite. He stays up late and sleeps late. Who takes control in making the changes…husband or wife? Or should there be a new set of rules set into play?
Authors Diana Lesire Brandmeyer and Marty C. Lintvedt, go on and on bringing up one possibility after another. They hits on things that I personally would have never thought of. There's religion, holidays, money and of course the deceased’s surviving family to consider. And one topic I would have missed completely is adoption. Should the kids be adopted by their new parent or left with who they already are? And most important…how do the kids feel about not just the adoption but all topics. It seems that for a lot of us out there, we think about what we want and forget to ask the kids how they feel about our decisions, which is a mistake. Your decisions will affect their lives too.
I could go on and on about this book as it goes on and on all the way into the empty nest stage, but I won’t because I want you to read it for yourself. We’re Not Blended We’re Pureed is one of the best books I’ve ever seen in offering help for families that are planning blending. The ideas, suggestions and experience given to us by the author is without a doubt... priceless.
228 Pages
ISBN# 978-0-7586-1791-0
Review Stir, Laugh, Repeat at Amazon.com Stir, Laugh, Repeat
A circle is a symbol of unity, eternity, and completeness. The wedding ring represents eternal love and the persistently renewed promises of a couple. Some Scandinavian women wear three bands: one each for engagement, wedding, and motherhood. In medieval England, a bridegroom would slide the ring partway up his bride’s thumb, index, and middle finger, saying “In the name of Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit,” as he slid the ring up each finger. He then placed the ring on the next available finger, the third finger of the left hand. Today, the wedding ring is an easily identifiable indication of marital commitment. Luanne and her husband-to-be had special matching gold bands made for all members of their blended family. The family members exchanged the rings during the couple’s wedding ceremony.’ (I loved this idea!)
If you have ever been married, had children and then found yourself single again, no matter what the reason, this book is for you! Author Diana Lesire Brandmeyer and Co-Author Marty C. Lintvedt (a licensed, nationally certified professional counselor), through the writing of We’re Not Blended We’re Pureed have given us a list of what to expect, what not to expect and what you might never have dreamed of expecting, if you take your family and combine it with another. They cover everything from how to plan the wedding, while including the kids to which home is the most practical to take up residence in. Diana, through her own experience, as well as the experiences of others, walks you through the emotions that you may find yourself feeling, those that your soon-to-be or already new spouse may feel, and just as importantly, the feelings the children may be feel. And she doesn’t stop there!
Some of the topics brought to light are simple things such as…do I take my kids to your dentist or their own dentist or do find a new one for all of them? Same with pediatricians. In her own experience, she moved over an hour away from her home as well as her 2 son’s old fashioned doctor who didn’t mind being called in the middle of the night. Her new stepson’s pediatrician is stuffy and makes her feel incompetent when asking questions. And since she did agree to move into her new husband’s home, what happens to her own home? Can they afford the upkeep on both or should they sell hers? And how does she make his home hers? Since the house originally belonged to he and his deceased wife, there are memories in every nook. Can she change these and start new memories?
And then there are the kids themselves. Diana, who also lost her husband, has 2 sons. Her new husband has 1. Her sons follow a routine requiring them to be in bed at set times at night and rising early. Her stepson is quite the opposite. He stays up late and sleeps late. Who takes control in making the changes…husband or wife? Or should there be a new set of rules set into play?
Authors Diana Lesire Brandmeyer and Marty C. Lintvedt, go on and on bringing up one possibility after another. They hits on things that I personally would have never thought of. There's religion, holidays, money and of course the deceased’s surviving family to consider. And one topic I would have missed completely is adoption. Should the kids be adopted by their new parent or left with who they already are? And most important…how do the kids feel about not just the adoption but all topics. It seems that for a lot of us out there, we think about what we want and forget to ask the kids how they feel about our decisions, which is a mistake. Your decisions will affect their lives too.
I could go on and on about this book as it goes on and on all the way into the empty nest stage, but I won’t because I want you to read it for yourself. We’re Not Blended We’re Pureed is one of the best books I’ve ever seen in offering help for families that are planning blending. The ideas, suggestions and experience given to us by the author is without a doubt... priceless.
228 Pages
ISBN# 978-0-7586-1791-0
Review Stir, Laugh, Repeat at Amazon.com Stir, Laugh, Repeat
February 9, 2018
Cute & covers a lot of topics but I didn’t feel the focus was enough on some on the biggest struggles that I & the people I know actually experience.
January 1, 2021
If you are a blended family, or single parent with children...this is a must read. This book has saved me much heartache over my body and step children.
September 3, 2011
Title: WE’RE NOT BLENDED, WE’RE PUREED
Authors: Diana Lesire Brandmeyer and Marty C. Lintvedt
Publisher: Concordia Publishing House
July 2011
ISBN: 978-0-7586-1791-0
Genre: Inspirational/Christian living/family concerns
We’re all familiar with the term of blended family. Diana and her husband Ed, both lost their spouses to death, and then eventually remarried. Between the two of them, they have three sons, the two older ones are twenty-one days apart—almost twins. But the problems when they tried to merge the two families…
Written in first person, from Diana’s point of view, she told the story of the struggles she and Ed had in trying to merge their families, the different temperaments of the boys, and what to do about the deceased spouse. Following each segment by Diana is a section by a marriage counselor (Marty) telling what Diana did right or wrong, and giving suggestions to others who are planning to or are blending two families. There are also random comments included through the book by other women who’d been there, telling their story.
I enjoyed reading through WE’RE NOT BLENDED, WE’RE PUREED and recommend it to anyone who is considering blending two families—or have recently done it and want to have a quick “stepparent survival skills 101” class. $14.99. 228 pages.
Authors: Diana Lesire Brandmeyer and Marty C. Lintvedt
Publisher: Concordia Publishing House
July 2011
ISBN: 978-0-7586-1791-0
Genre: Inspirational/Christian living/family concerns
We’re all familiar with the term of blended family. Diana and her husband Ed, both lost their spouses to death, and then eventually remarried. Between the two of them, they have three sons, the two older ones are twenty-one days apart—almost twins. But the problems when they tried to merge the two families…
Written in first person, from Diana’s point of view, she told the story of the struggles she and Ed had in trying to merge their families, the different temperaments of the boys, and what to do about the deceased spouse. Following each segment by Diana is a section by a marriage counselor (Marty) telling what Diana did right or wrong, and giving suggestions to others who are planning to or are blending two families. There are also random comments included through the book by other women who’d been there, telling their story.
I enjoyed reading through WE’RE NOT BLENDED, WE’RE PUREED and recommend it to anyone who is considering blending two families—or have recently done it and want to have a quick “stepparent survival skills 101” class. $14.99. 228 pages.
May 13, 2013
This is a nice look at stepfamily life with each chapter being a somewhat self-contained essay, so it's easy to pick up and read a chapter here and there.
The chapters cover a wide range of topics from the wedding that joins families at the beginning to discipline, changing last names, adopting each other's kids, and the day to day adjustments to blended family life. This is all done from a Christian perspective and includes inspirational Bible verses at the end of each chapter.
Compared to other books I've read about stepfamilies, the thing that makes this one different is its dual approach. Each chapter begins with Diana Lesire Brandmeyer relating her account of various events. She approaches her stories plainly and honestly to show how things were for her- how she felt, her fears, her stumbling blocks. Then the second half of each chapter is written by her friend Marty C. Lindtvedt, a certified professional counselor. Marty breaks down Diana's stories to interpret what may have been going on in the minds of the children and offers advice for dealing with such scenarios.
Brandmeyer and Lindtvedt's combined approach makes for a well-rounded look at stepfamily life.
I recommend this book for parents of blended families, particularly newly blended or soon-to-be blended families.
The chapters cover a wide range of topics from the wedding that joins families at the beginning to discipline, changing last names, adopting each other's kids, and the day to day adjustments to blended family life. This is all done from a Christian perspective and includes inspirational Bible verses at the end of each chapter.
Compared to other books I've read about stepfamilies, the thing that makes this one different is its dual approach. Each chapter begins with Diana Lesire Brandmeyer relating her account of various events. She approaches her stories plainly and honestly to show how things were for her- how she felt, her fears, her stumbling blocks. Then the second half of each chapter is written by her friend Marty C. Lindtvedt, a certified professional counselor. Marty breaks down Diana's stories to interpret what may have been going on in the minds of the children and offers advice for dealing with such scenarios.
Brandmeyer and Lindtvedt's combined approach makes for a well-rounded look at stepfamily life.
I recommend this book for parents of blended families, particularly newly blended or soon-to-be blended families.
March 24, 2017
What a delightful book! Not delightful as in fun to read, but as in full-of-heart and truth. As others have noted, the book is a blend of Diana Brandmeyer's first person accounts of her and her husband's second marriage (after each was widowed) and Marty Lintvedt's counselor analysis of what was going well and what could be thought through or done better. Diana's retelling had me giggling, tearing up, and wanting to reach out and hug her; Marty's analysis never came across as clinical and had me thinking through my own non-blended family to see what improvements we could make ourselves. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is considering remarriage, particularly if either spouse has children.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews