But I Told You Last Year that I Loved You

by Sue Hepworth

Frances has been married to Sol since the beginning of time. He is eccentric and difficult to live with, but she finds him endearing and very funny, even while wanting to strangle him with his own jogging bottoms. Now, something threatens to split them apart. Frances wants one thing and Sol wants another, and there is no way to compromise. But I Told You Last Year That I Loved You is a portrait of a mature marriage at a crossroads – intimate, funny, tender and honest. “clever, funny, subtle, wry, sad and uplifting all at once…Sue Hepworth writes thoughtfully and insightfully, and with such tenderness and humour” Judith Murray, literary agent“Writing about autism and Asperger's syndrome is notorious for the ways in which it frequently cannot resist the lure of the sensational and the spectacular. All too often the condition of autism, and individuals and characters with it, are turned into objects of belittling fascination for a reading audience, often as not more than performing sideshows. What is so refreshing about Sue Hepworth's - But I Told You Last Year That I Loved You - is that it avoids all these traps and rather presents Asperger's as a normal, if idiosyncratic, part of everyday life that elicits frustration, comedy and tenderness all at the same time. Hepworth's achievement in making the condition both distinctive and unspectacular, and weaving this into a narrative of romantic and family life, displays a genuinely subtle understanding of how autism - this most contemporary of conditions – works.”Stuart Murray, Professor of Contemporary Literature and Film at Leeds University - expert on the representation of disability in popular culture, and author of Representing Culture, Narrative, Fascination (Liverpool University Press, 2008), and Autism (The Routledge Series Integrating Science and Culture) Routledge 2012.

336 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 1, 2011

Reviews

[Gift Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a story of a marriage
Not k-drama or a passionate romcom
It's the picture of a relationship between people who have been together for so long. Sometimes, the fire withers a little, but the love remains.
I loved and enjoyed reading this so much
It was definitely worth it...

[Sue · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not my cup of tea. Struggled to finish.

[Amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

The story is nice enough, but nothing really happens! I found it really hard to keep going. I also can't believe the wife didn't know her husband was ND. It was so irritating.

[Jane Linfoot · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Sue Hepworth's relaxed tone, mixed with her slightly quirky outlook on life, mean her books are easy to read, yet full of surprises. I loved the honest way in which the author showed the detail of of a loving, yet difficult, long term marriage, set against the fascinating backdrop of rural village life.

So many of us carry on in slightly unsatisfactory relationships for years, regardless, but change inevitably brings deeply buried - and not so deeply buried! - tensions to the surface. Once the children have gone, marital partners are still young enough to pursue the dreams they've had on hold for years. The shock of this freedom, and the resulting push and pull, can crack a relationship open. In this book the fact that other deeper issues are explored and revealed too, adds extra layers of insight and interest.

Very sensitively written, it's simultaneously sad and funny, evoking huge sympathy for both the main characters as they both pursue their own new goals, whilst desperately trying to hold on to and re-evaluate their relationship. Alongside this there's a rich supporting cast, who constantly bring out the wry humour. And despite the struggles, there are plenty of laugh out loud moments. A great book!

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a popular book in the local library system as it is partly set here and by a local author.

For me the title was a bit of a giveaway and it did stretch my credulity just a bit that a woman like Fran could take more than half the book before getting an inkling. There were a few other disappointments of that sort - the hand wringing about train fares and then a rather casual attitude to multiple long taxi rides. I found it utterly bizarre that Fran complains about the closed in skies of Derbyshire compared with Northumberland. Beg pardon? She says 'Derbyshire' not Via Gellia or Matlock Bath. We have big, big skies here... no sea, but big skies.

I enjoyed the book and felt that it was a slightly more intelligent scenario than many 'mid-life crisis/menopausal lit' books. Fran is torn between her love for her quirky husband Sol and her job - that doesn't sound too novel does it? But Sol is more plausibly heart stoppingly loveable and utterly infuriating than most such fictional husbands whilst the job is rather more realistic. And I did want to find out how, or if, the situation was resolved.

[Andee-louise · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not a rubbish book despite the two stars, it was well written and an interesting story, I just personally found everyone in it really aggravating. Having neurodiversity in my life meant that it was obvious to me from the start what was going on with Sol but I could not understand how Fran was able to compromise herself for so long. I just wanted to give them all a jolly good shake. I may recommend it on a selective basis, but not generally. Too annoying! Two and a half stars.

[Helen Moyes]

Set in the peak District, Derbyshire (where I work and love to explore), and with references to places in both Sheffield (where I live) and Northumberland (the part I visited this year, made me relate to this novel.
Insightful, funny and sad. It deals with a couple and their struggle to keep their later-life ambitions, family ties and friendships and their marriage together. Who compromises and what causes them to move forward.

[Suzi · Rating 2 out of 5]

I loved the fact this book was set in Derbyshire and I have visited some of the places that were mentioned! However I found this book really difficult to pick up to carry on reading it didn't grip me enough, althought the general storyline was good etc it just dragged on a little bit and I wanted to shout at the main character as I didn't understand a) how she put up with him and b)why she couldn't see he had a condition!