A Song of Ice and Haddock

by Keven Shevels

In a style that one reviewer has likened to ‘Monty Python meets Terry Pratchett’, the author continues his chronicles of the history of the Dogsbreath family with the exploits of the earliest known ancestor of the current Ivor Dogsbreath.

Ivor the Dogsbreath, so called because of his rampant halitosis which he contracted at the age of five is an itinerant tinker who with the aid of a manky old cart, which is a family heirloom, plies his trade between the settlements of the plains. ‘Persuaded’ to team up with a giant barbarian warrior, a foul-mouthed little dwarf and a gay elf he sets off on a quest of vengeance and to rescue the Princess Poolipong from the clutches of the Dark Lord of Cumquat.

Contains strong language and adult humour.

‘Keven Shevels introduced us to Ivor Dogsbreath in his contemporary comedy novel 'The Haddock Flies at Midnight'. Now in 'A Song of Ice and Haddock' he delves back into the anals (sic) of the family's history to bring us an epically hilarious fantasy tale of derring-do (or derring-don't in the case of the ancestor also called Ivor) a la Tolkien and George R. R. Martin.
The book recounts the story of a group of brave, eclectic though sometimes rather inept warriors who set out to kill the Dark Lord of Cumquat and his crony, the formidable Red Witch, to help Colon the Barbarian avenge his brother's death. The company consists of a dwarf, an elf, three princesses, several Wildmen, a number of Wikings, various other assorted folk and Ivor, who isn't sure why he's there, doesn't want to be there and does his all to avoid doing anything that looks remotely brave. Will they eventually achieve their goal without the aid of a satnav in the face of such powerful magic or will the witch's love of a drop of the hard stuff on the side prove to be the Dark Lord's undoing. I'll leave you to find out.
The author's zany style lends itself admirably to fantasy writing and I look forward to reading his forays into the other genres that he's promised us in the future, especially the crime thriller. If you too are a fan of the sublime and the ridiculous, you will probably love anything the author throws at you!’
Love Reading.co.uk – the UK’s No.1 book review website.
The novel was granted the Love Reading ‘Indie Books We Love’ logo.

556 pages, Kindle Edition

Published March 20, 2022

About the author

Keven Shevels is one of nature’s idiots. He is a kind, gentle soul who wouldn’t say boo to a goose … which explains why he is attacked so often by geese ... and once by a clay pigeon.

Born in 1846 he is now in his forties and last week celebrated his eighteenth birthday and is looking forward to four weeks’ time when he becomes seventy-eight and finally shuffles off this mortal coil and becomes a diseased parrot. Sorry that should have read deceased parrot, this auto-correct can be a real bugger.

Keven is a sad, twisted individual with a peculiar sense of humour. However, he does enjoy making people laugh which is why he writes comedy fiction. He has an irreverent sense of humour which is based on an exposure to the Goons, Round the Horne, Monty Python, the Goodies and others of that ilk while he was still at a young and impressionable age. Just don’t ask to see any of his impressions.

Physically he has been compared to a Greek god. However, as the statue of the god in question was missing an arm and two of its four legs and had a long crack down its left cheek where the sculptor’s chisel had slipped it was generally considered a fair assessment.

A suspected human being, according to the latest rumours he escaped from captivity several years ago and has been living feral in the wild ever since. Making a nest out of discarded packing cases and pizza boxes he has lived in the woods for many years. A confirmed vegetarian he has survived on chickweed and other plants he has foraged.

Keven is a writer ... he once left a note for the milkman so he qualifies. Writing his manuscripts by hand on scraps of discarded paper and cardboard he leaves his ramblings in a nominated safe spot for his editor to collect … usually with the aid of a bin bag and a long metal pole. Quite often these opuses are written on discarded Magnum wrappers carefully penned around the melted ice cream stains.

Several years ago a medical professional suggested that Keven have his head examined. However, as she was a chiropodist who was filing his corns at the time nothing was ever done. Over the intervening years many other people have also agreed and reached the same conclusion that he really does need his head to be examined … and quickly. He is currently awaiting an appointment at Kwikfit.

Despite these disadvantages he has managed to connect to modern society and using old, rusty tin cans, some baling twine, an old corset he found in a bush and a ‘liberated’ valve from a 1952 Bakelite radio he has somehow managed to connect to the internet and maintains a blog on both the Goodreads website and Facebook.

His driving ambition is to make the phrase, ‘Never look a gift yak up the arse’, an accepted piece of the English language.

Reviews

[Mark taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Song of Ice and Haddock by Keven Shevels is a comic fantasy novel that tells the story about the attempt to kill the Dark Lord by Colon The Barbarian in Revenge for the murder of his Brother Anal the Barbarian.

When reading books that are marked as funny like A Song of Ice and Haddock, as a reader there is always the air of trepidation in that this to me is very difficult to pull off in written form as the delivery is done by the reader, not a trained actor or comedian.

With this novel there was no such fear in this as there were several points in the novel that had me laughing out loud. Which is very rare for a novel.

However as most people know comedy is such a subjective medium that if someone finds it funny another person will not crack a smile. This is especially true in books as there is no laughing because everyone else finds it funny.

So where does A Song of Ice and Haddock get its comedy from, As its name suggests the novel is a parody of the fantasy novel genre.

For example one of the people fighting the Dark Lord is Lord Sturk whose saying winter draws near, with people misinterpreting the word draws for drawers as in underwear.

There is also a scene where there is murder and a mordor, due to the accent of the characters.

However the best way to sum up the novel's comedy is the running gag that runs through the whole novel and that is the Name of the name of the individual whose murder started the main plot of the story and that is Anal the Barbarian.

With the first joke based on the name, when the two guards ( who are funny throughout the novel) bring the prisoner to the Dark Lord, they do not know his name.

When the Dark Lord recognises him he says anal the barbarian, the guards look at him funny and one of them starts to take his trousers down.

And there you have a basis of the humor of a vast majority of the novel, with a number of scenes with comedy from classic British TV and radio comedy, from the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s.

So in addition to the childish humor there are times which A song of Haddock does go off on a tangent.

As a slight warning the novel does have a character named after a slur which was common in the eighties and earlier, which I have not heard in ages.

While the novel does not use this as a slur and is a novel of the 2020’s not the 1980’s the word is not used as an offensive way, but just as a name of a character.


In conclusion, A Song of Ice and Haddock by Keven Shevels is a brilliantly executed parody of the fantasy genre, blending sharp wit, absurd humor, and nostalgic nods to classic British comedy. The book's clever wordplay, running gags, and playful subversion of genre tropes make it a laugh-out-loud experience for those who enjoy irreverent and unapologetically silly humor. While the novel leans heavily on childish humor and some dated references, its charm lies in its ability to balance these elements with sharp comedic timing and a genuine affection for the genre it parodies.

However, readers should be mindful of the inclusion of a character name rooted in outdated language. While it’s not used offensively, it may give some pause. That aside, A Song of Ice and Haddock is a riotous and entertaining read, proving that comedy, when done well, can shine even in written form. Fans of comic fantasy and British humor will find much to enjoy in this light-hearted and unique adventure.

I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

[mommy_and_books · Rating 5 out of 5]

" [...] But as for killing the Dark Lord, well there you are on your own. Risk is one thing, suicide is something else. [...] "

Keven Shevels has a great sense of humour. His novel "A Song of Ice and Haddock" made me laugh. It was very funny. The lines of some of the characters are so excellent that you can't stop laughing. A perfect story to improve your mood.
The author here perfectly combines fantasy with comedy.
The only downside for me were the names of the characters. It was hard for me to pronounce and remember them.
In "A Song of Ice and Haddock" you will find a story of revenge of one character on another character for the murder of his older brother. The second theme is building friendship and finding companions to fight.
Here I met, among others: Colon the Barbarian,
Dark Lord of Cumquat, elf Goldblum, Ivor Dogsbreath and dwarf Fudgepacker. And I almost forgot about a certain Red Witch.

I liked the behaviour of Colon the Barbarian, who wanted to avenge his older brother at all costs. He set off on a very difficult and dangerous expedition. Will the formed team cope with the cunning Dark Lord of Cumquat? It is worth persevering until the end of this story.
With this book, good fun is guaranteed.

[Siobhain McCormick]

I really enjoy Monty Python and Terry Pratchett so I was excited to read this despite not having read previous works by the author. Unfortunately for me it didn’t really hit the mark. It was okay and having read a few parodies it was clear the author knew what they wanted to do. For me though I felt like it was trying a bit too hard at times. Now I know humour and tastes differ so some may really like this but for me it felt a bit too edgy, too on the nose.

I did manage to finish but did have to take a few breaks and the writing and tone while not for me where good overall. Perhaps I had different expectations and that was the issue? I’m sure some will find it brilliant and at some parts I did find it funny and enjoyable but ultimately it just was not for me.

As always thank you to The Book Network for the copy to review. My review is always honest, truthful and freely given.