Shall I Say A Kiss?: The Courtship Letters of a Deaf Couple, 1936-1938

by Lennard J. Davis, Eva Weintrobe Davis

Upon the death of his father Morris at age 82, Lennard Davis found among his effects a trove of letters, kept in careful chronological order, that dated from 1936. The letters ended in 1938, when Eva Weintrobe came to America to marry Morris, and they provide the core of  Shall I Say A Kiss? , their courtship by correspondence. In his framing comments, Davis speculates that his parents met perhaps four or five times before they wed, a fact that heightens the importance of these letters to their fate. Davis illustrates vast contrasts between Morris and Eva, both to each other (Morris was 38; Eva was 26), and to themselves in later life as witnessed by their son. Where Davis saw his father brimming with confidence and a sense of superior intellect while his mother acted as the reserved, dutiful wife, he was startled to learn through their letters that she could be the shrewd questioning correspondent even as his father wrote as an unsure, imploring suitor.

        Shall I Say A Kiss?  opens a window into the lives of two working-class, Jewish, British, Deaf people in the 1930s. This striking book reveals a consistent, journal-like account of the “lived” experience of Deaf people during the tumultuous times just prior to World War II. Because the correspondence is mainly composed of Eva’s letters, the focus sharpens even further as a record of the life and opinions of a young, working-class, Deaf woman about to embark upon marriage and life in a new country. The challenges she faced, including de facto racial barriers for both deaf and Jewish immigrants, and the prospect of uniting with a man she knew mostly through his letters alone, make for a compelling and emotional trip through her life.  Shall I Say A Kiss?  serves as a singular social document and also as an engaging and often moving narrative that will win audiences among academics and romantics alike.

144 pages, Hardcover

First published March 3, 1999

Reviews

[Emily Flood · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting book of letters written by Eva to Morris for the most part, surrounding the difficulty she was having in the late 30s trying to get a visa to come to America to be with and marry him from England. Also talks about the difficulty she is experiencing with having to leave her immediate family behind forever to be with him. The main struggle was that she is Deaf, Jewish and lower middle class, in trying to get the visa.

The introduction and conclusion surrounding the letters is written by their youngest son, who expresses worry as to weather he could have been born had things not happened right, and there is some doubt expressed on the part of Eva as to weather she wants to go through with the move.

The contrast between Morris and Eva that I found distinct from the other biographical stories I have read recently is that they were not as anti hearing world as most deaf people I have read about from this period, which made it a little easier on their hearing children, in the fact that they didn't have to interpret as much, and there wasn't as much animosity expressed, because their parents were more acclimated to the hearing world they were born into. There was still some embarrassment and animosity, on their part though.

It is also interesting that in the letters between the parents, at a time just before the start of World War II, that there is no talk in their letters about what was going on in the world. When we know there were lots of historical events occurring, in Europe and England and probably, especially, surrounding the Jewish population. This alludes to the idea that even though they may read the paper, there is a disconnect from the events going on, and the son alludes to this in the epilogue.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

From BBC Radio 4:

In 1936, Morris met Eva at Warrington Deaf Club. An unusual transatlantic romance began. Drama starring two deaf actors, based on a true story. Dramatised by Vanessa Rosenthal.