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Upton Arms: A Retirement Home for Supernaturals
Not yet published
Expected 7 Oct 25What if eternal life wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be? Achy joints, cranky moods, and failing powers prove immortality is just late-onset death.
Such is the life of a six-hundred-something whose best years are in the rearview mirror—and Vlad can't even see himself in a mirror. Now living in Upton Arms, a retirement community for once-powerful supernatural beings, Vlad and his eccentric neighbors are learning a painful life, even for immortals, is terminal.
Rising at dusk is a struggle, and turning into a bat? Forget it! Vlad’s stiff wings are more likely to cause a crash landing than a graceful flight. And when it comes to his hypnotic powers, he can’t even convince someone to grab him the remote control in the community room than control their will.
Just when Vlad thinks it can’t get worse, Upton Arms faces something more dangerous than his existential crisis—foreclosure. Vlad sees it as the final nail in his coffin, even as the other tenants rally behind Luis, a werewolf and unofficial pack leader. Together, they’ll fight for survival, and Vlad will discover a shocking it’s not too late to start living again.
What We Do in the Shadows meets The Golden Girls—a laugh-out-loud paranormal comedy with heart. Full of dark humor, supernatural drama, and unforgettable characters, Upton Arms is a must-read for fans of quirky paranormal fiction.
Such is the life of a six-hundred-something whose best years are in the rearview mirror—and Vlad can't even see himself in a mirror. Now living in Upton Arms, a retirement community for once-powerful supernatural beings, Vlad and his eccentric neighbors are learning a painful life, even for immortals, is terminal.
Rising at dusk is a struggle, and turning into a bat? Forget it! Vlad’s stiff wings are more likely to cause a crash landing than a graceful flight. And when it comes to his hypnotic powers, he can’t even convince someone to grab him the remote control in the community room than control their will.
Just when Vlad thinks it can’t get worse, Upton Arms faces something more dangerous than his existential crisis—foreclosure. Vlad sees it as the final nail in his coffin, even as the other tenants rally behind Luis, a werewolf and unofficial pack leader. Together, they’ll fight for survival, and Vlad will discover a shocking it’s not too late to start living again.
What We Do in the Shadows meets The Golden Girls—a laugh-out-loud paranormal comedy with heart. Full of dark humor, supernatural drama, and unforgettable characters, Upton Arms is a must-read for fans of quirky paranormal fiction.
300 pages, Paperback
Expected publication October 7, 2025
4 people want to read
About the author
Scott Craven
11 books13 followersI've been a writer most of my life, with my earliest verifiable work coming in third grade when I established a link between the Pilgrims and the invention of Thanksgiving (since repudiated).
More recently, I'm pleased to announce my new novel, "Upton Arms: An Active Lifestyle Home for the Supernaturally Enhanced," will be published later this year by City Owl Press. As with Dead Jed, it turns the horror genre on its head. The vampires, werewolves, witches and similar characters discover they don't live forever, but do suffer from late-onset mortality. Powers dwindle, bones creak, and creatures both mythical and legendary get pretty cranky when they don't get enough sleep. Upton Arms provides a safe space when world domination is no longer an ambition.
Dead Jed has its roots in my own horror that was seventh grade. I just wanted to fit in, but at 4 feet, 6 inches tall, all I fit into were lockers and trash bins. I eventually reached average height and was able to turn those misadventures into a book starring a zombie who, yes, just wants to fit in. Only Jed's story is way funnier than mine, and he gets even. I never did. Until now.
I'm a retired journalist with more than 40 years in the newspaper business, most spent as a feature writer for The Arizona Republic in Phoenix. I live in a small town in Oregon with my wife Melissa, a few dogs and, so I'm told, a cat or two. While the gray skies are tiresome, the craft beer is not.
Well, until now.
More recently, I'm pleased to announce my new novel, "Upton Arms: An Active Lifestyle Home for the Supernaturally Enhanced," will be published later this year by City Owl Press. As with Dead Jed, it turns the horror genre on its head. The vampires, werewolves, witches and similar characters discover they don't live forever, but do suffer from late-onset mortality. Powers dwindle, bones creak, and creatures both mythical and legendary get pretty cranky when they don't get enough sleep. Upton Arms provides a safe space when world domination is no longer an ambition.
Dead Jed has its roots in my own horror that was seventh grade. I just wanted to fit in, but at 4 feet, 6 inches tall, all I fit into were lockers and trash bins. I eventually reached average height and was able to turn those misadventures into a book starring a zombie who, yes, just wants to fit in. Only Jed's story is way funnier than mine, and he gets even. I never did. Until now.
I'm a retired journalist with more than 40 years in the newspaper business, most spent as a feature writer for The Arizona Republic in Phoenix. I live in a small town in Oregon with my wife Melissa, a few dogs and, so I'm told, a cat or two. While the gray skies are tiresome, the craft beer is not.
Well, until now.
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