Cross-Cultural Connections: Stepping Out and Fitting In Around the World

by Duane Elmer

With the new realities of global interconnectedness comes a greater awareness of cultural diversity from place to place. Besides differences in food and fashion, we face significant contrasts of cultural orientation and patterns of thinking. As we travel across cultures, what should we expect? How do we deal with culture shock? And can we truly connect with those we meet? Experienced cross-cultural specialist Duane Elmer provides a compass for navigating through different cultures. He shows us how to avoid pitfalls and cultural faux pas, as well as how to make the most of opportunities to build cross-cultural relationships. Filled with real-life illustrations and practical exercises, this guide offers the tools needed to reduce apprehension, communicate effectively, and establish genuine trust and acceptance. Above all, Elmer demonstrates how we can avoid being cultural imperialists and instead become authentic ambassadors for Christ. Whether you are embarking on a short-term mission trip or traveling for business or pleasure, this book is both an ideal preparation and a handy companion for your journey.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Cultural, Theology, Faith, School, Christian Non Fiction

215 pages, Paperback

First published September 30, 2002

About the author

Duane H. Elmer (Ph.D., Michigan State U.) is director of the Ph.D. program in educational studies and is the G. W. Aldeen Chair of International Studies at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School in Deerfield, Illinois. In addition to traveling and teaching in over 75 countries, he has provided cross-cultural training to Fortune 500 companies, relief and development agencies, mission organizations, churches and educational institutions.

He has also conducted peace and reconciliation efforts in several countries. Recently, he led faculty development workshops at over 25 European and Middle Eastern schools on the theme of Teaching for Transformation. He has taught at Durban Bible College (Durban, South Africa), Michigan State University and Wheaton College and Graduate School.

His articles have been published in journals such as Moody Monthly, Evangelical Missions Quarterly, Christian Education Journal, Discernment, and Christianity Today. His books include An Analysis of Hebrews: A Programmed Instruction, Building Relationships, With an Eye on the Future: Church and Development in the Twenty-First Century, Cross-Cultural Conflict and Cross-Cultural Connections.

Reviews

[Avery · Rating 5 out of 5]

INCREDIBLE and helpful book for people planning on traveling or spending time outside of the USA. Some books on a topic like this can be vague and exclusively theoretical…but I love the practicality and genuine helpfulness of this book. One of the most “worth the read” books I’ve read in a while.

[Tyler Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Duane Elmer's "Cross-Cultural Connections" is an excellent introduction to thinking about and preparing for cross-cultural work, ministry or otherwise. With a winsome writing style, short chapters, and personal stories, Elmer exposes the reader to important concepts regarding communicating/working/living across cultures which the reader has likely never heard before. I wouldn't want to go abroad without carefully reading this book and reflecting upon myself, my expectations, and the culture I am about to enter--that process would save me from much of the potential misunderstanding, offense, and heartache that is likely to occur otherwise.

[Amanda Georgiev · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think if I rated this anything other than 5 stars, my boss would be upset with me. But, it was a great book. Super interesting to hear things from a different perspective.

[Jon Vos · Rating 5 out of 5]

I came into this book pretty skeptical, but left feeling challenged and refreshed.

[Karissa Stoner · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was wonderfully written. Elmer convited me to open my hands and to examine my heart. Everyone is created in the image of God. Elmer writes and helps readers to reshape the way they think to instead of trying to teach other people, to ask them to teach me.

[Eric · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent writing by Dr Elmer. Depth of insight and clarity of thought. I'd highly recommend it.

[Christian Cha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would say this book is essential if you want to go into cross-cultural ministry. The author has a plethora of experience so he gives personal anecdotes which massively boosts his credibility. Many topics were discussed, including culture shock, differences in categorical thinking, time vs. event orientation, and much more. I loved reading this book, as cross-cultural ministry is something I find passion in. And this book isn't only people heading to other countries, it could be relevant to how you relate to your family and friends where you are right now!

Nevertheless, one flaw is that there doesn't seem to be much application in this book. It gives helpful tips when going to another culture, but doesn't provide practical advice; so in that sense, the book is somewhat incomplete.

Needless to say, I would 100% recommend this to someone considering going on short-term mission trips, going overseas for business purposes, or just interested in cross-cultural studies! You might some valuable nuggets of wisdom inside this book.

[Sean Murphy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good book for those going out to the short term missions field or embarking on a cross cultural experience for the first time. Good, solid introductory material. Light reading and easy to digest for younger high school or college aged students.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dr. Duane Elmer’s book, Cross Cultural Connections: Stepping Out and Fitting in Around the World, is one of three volumes he has written on the topic of global missions. (The other two are titled: Cross Cultural Conflict and Cross Cultural Servanthood.) Elmer is the director of the Ph.D program at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, and has used his cross-cultural training materials to train people in Fortune 500 companies, relief agencies, and mission organizations.

Summary
This book is perhaps one of the most practical missions volumes for the common person with a Western upbringing. In his own words, Elmer’s main purpose in writing such a book “is to help you become aware of the realities in making a cultural transition—in business, in short- or long-term missions” (9). In every chapter, Elmer mixes cultural identity theories into hypothetical application. His many, brief chapters make each concept easy to understand and apply, making the book suitable to be read in community—such as in planning for a team trip or for use by a mission organization’s training center. The book can also be used for personal preparation before a cross-cultural ministry opportunity or mission trip.
Whereas many books offer engaging theological discussions of Christian missions, Elmer’s book supports the works of other authors by providing easy to digest segments of those deeper thoughts and making them palatable and exciting for the green missionary. The book covers five major transition categories: “getting a perspective,” “dealing with the new and different,” “attitudes and skills for cultural adjustment,” “cultural differences that confuse,” and “returning home.” Each of the first four sections contains several chapters apiece, and the entire book can be divided into twenty-one group training sessions, with only one chapter devoted to re-entry to the homeland. Class environments could easily combine three to four sessions into one meeting and utilize the book for six to seven meetings once a week.
Elmer is able to relate cross-cultural relationships to the relationship between a man and woman in marriage, explain the differences between businesspeople and the missions-minded when preparing to enter into other cultures, and he is able to equip readers on how to discover for themselves ways to interject the Gospel into everyday life. Each chapter ends with discussion questions for personal reflection or for dialog within a smaller group.

Critical Evaluation
Elmer introduces the theme of his book in the first chapter by telling a story about a monkey and a fish. This monkey is stuck on a small island of debris after a terrible storm, and the fish is stuck nearby in a puddle of water. The monkey sees the distress of the fish gasping for water and risks his own life to save it. However, the monkey believes the best thing for this fish it to rescue it from its puddle of water and bring it to dry land. After the fish is safely dry and being cared for by the monkey, the distressed fish is finally able to stop it’s panicked breathing and lies still. At first, the kind-hearted monkey is happy to see his fish friend is at peace. It only later realizes that it had effectively killed the poor fish.
In connecting with people of different cultures, it is important to remember that a missionary cannot effectually rescue a person by completely removing them from their culture and physical environment. Christian missionaries have far too long been kind-hearted monkeys. (If Elmer had used the term “baboon” to tell this story, he may have come across more offensive to his Christian readership!)
Aside from physical standards and needs, Elmer points out that there ought to be a sense of where “lines” are drawn between what is right and wrong as one culture interacts with another. One must pre-determine their absolute truths (the Bible is true, God exists, Jesus saves, etcetera) and one’s application of those truths for ethical standards by which to live. Between the lines of right and wrong, Elmer says, are “differences.” Differences in America are numerous and can extend from musical preference to English accent to culinary taste. Differences between cultures are even more significant, and include different musical instruments, different dialects within another language, and foreign ingredients in prepared food. Differences are neither right nor wrong, but are merely things that make a person or a culture variant from one another.
On page 25, Elmer provides a helpful visual of his lines theory. He compares his personal lines with that of his son, which show the reduction of the right and wrong areas and an increase in what are considered differences. This shows the transformation between generations, but some may argue that it is not entirely accurate. The visual lines in the book show both areas of right and wrong decreasing over time at the same rate. It could be said that right should increase when wrong decreases, or at least stay the same when the area of differences is increased out of the wrong category.
Nonetheless, the point of the chapter is that knowing what one’s “differences” are is extremely helpful when entering another culture because it makes adjusting to the food, clothing, etiquette, monetary system, and etcetera easier. As long as none of those adjustments cross the line into the wrong category, a missionary should have peace about making changes to his or her own lifestyle in order to make the gospel look and sound like the culture he or she is attempting to reach.
When it comes to culture shock, Elmer defines it, “when you experience frustration from not knowing the rules or having the skills for adjusting to a new culture” (44). This definition is paired with other definitions that round out the meaning of culture shock for readers. It is said to be a “disorientation,” “experience,” “reaction,” “anxiety,” or fear of some sort of danger. However one defines it, the usage of this phrase is akin to “jet lag” in that many people use it to quickly explain an awkwardness with which they are processing, even though that phrase does not fully define what they are experiencing.
It may be exhilarating to experience a nominal level of cultural differences, but the shock effect alludes to a negative experience, and Elmer is quick to speak to it’s spiritual side. He says that a portion of the experience can be ascribed to Satan. Christians may experience culture shock and think it is, “because I am abnormal; I am unspiritual; I missed God’s call; God is punishing me; [and/or] I am not skilled for ministry” (45). These five reactions, Elmer says, are tactics of the devil to defeat one’s mission. He refers to Hebrews 4:14-16 and Genesis 37-47 as a couple of places in Scripture where God reassures His people that He is in control. However, there are more biblical references that the author could have stated as supplemental reading. No further Scripture is cited in the discussion questions following this chapter.
The topic of spiritual warfare in missions and evangelism is generally not present in other chapters of this book, except for one story about worshipping in Haiti (183). Perhaps this is beyond the scope of the work, but nevertheless, it is important when one brings up the issue of spiritual warfare in missions to rely heavily on the truth of Scripture first and then substantiate with personal testimony and encouraging reminders. Elmer tends to do more explanation of cultural realities and helpful philosophies than expounding upon Scripture—which his contemporaries with less-applicable writings have done. It is supposable that the capacity of Cross-Cultural Connections is less wide and more targeted at applying existing, externally expounded Gospel truths.
In his chapter on openness, Elmer describes various ways in which a Christian can exhibit trustworthy qualities, or approachability. While this is indeed essential for successfully sharing the Gospel cross-culturally, the chapter—taken out of context—may come across as a how-to guide for creating a fast, external relationship. Much like Christian dating materials (books for young men about how to catch a fine, Christian young woman), this section of Elmer’s book about cultivating attitudes and skills with the motive of accomplishing something more than a friendship can be difficult to compose. However, Elmer does a wonderful job of making sure his readers are prepared for this step, as this information appears only in the third section of the book, about half way through the whole work.
Beyond the social cues and surface advice, he says, “suspend judgment…try to find the facts and keep an open mind about the other person” (90). In this, not only is the desire to gossip removed, one can also honestly pray to God on behalf of the people they are trying to befriend. Prayer always brings one closer to God and closer to the person or issues being lifted up.

Conclusion
Overall, Cross-Cultural Connections provides a process by which current and future missionaries can better understand their own culture and how it affects their adoption of their new cultural calling. It can serve as an excellent backbone to missionary training programs, especially in churches that employ a path for their membership that results in courses that teach how to do the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19). This book can also be quite helpful for personal use in adapting to new cultures. Elmer’s work, however, should be supplemental to studying the missional message of the Bible, as there are only rare instances of the chapters or discussion guides being saturated in Scripture. The book is one that should be read and shared by any ministry leader who has the role of training and equipping people for missions.
Elmer is a fine author who is able to incorporate complex theological and ethical philosophies into a format palatable for group study in an application-oriented setting.

[BJ Richardson · Rating 3 out of 5]

We live in a globalized world that is getting smaller and smaller each day. Transportation technology and costs have reached the point that a person can now travel to any point on the globe in less than a day, and the relative cost of doing so is far less than it was even two decades ago. Beyond that, technology has reached the point that people can have quality face-to-face meetings simultaneously with people from Beijing, Bombay, Bogota, and Berlin. Not only are such cross-cultural connections possible, but they are also inevitable. More and more people are living and visiting other parts of the world than at any point in our past.

With this in mind, a book like Cross Cultural Connections by Duane Elmer is essential. Elmer draws on years of experience to share essential tools for interacting cross-culturally that are useful for anybody and especially valuable for anyone expecting to live overseas. After a three-chapter introduction, the meat of his book is broken into three sections. The first of these deals with how to deal with culture shock and the inevitable differences that will arrive when dealing with people in a cross-cultural setting. The second section goes to the heart and tackles the attitudes that one needs to cultivate to successfully adapt and interact cross-culturally. The third core section looks at major differences between types of cultures. Here he looks at how things like time, truth, and tasks are tackled by different types of cultures around the world. Finally, Elmer includes a concluding chapter on re-entry.

Two key things to keep in mind when reading this book are its age and its audience. First, this book is more than two decades old. With the way culture and technology are changing at an exponential rate, it might seem at some points like he is writing in the age of dinosaurs. The internet gets only one mention (I am pretty sure he was thinking of AOL) and cell phones, Facebook, and text messaging were all completely unknown at the time of his writing. The second thing to keep in mind is that Elmer is an American writing to an American audience. This will show up largely in his assumed understanding of the reader’s culture and what types of things might seem “different” or “foreign” to them. Despite these two things, most of what Elmer writes is both brilliant and timeless and this book has an abundance of quality content that anyone from any time or culture can learn from.


Throughout Elmer’s book, there are numerous illustrations that brilliantly illustrate the simple truths he is trying to convey. When it comes to the facts of this book, there is not much difference from what is found in many of the other cross-cultural communication books that I have seen. In a way, this is probably a good thing. It means that the field has largely figured out the right way to do things and everyone is bringing it forward. I would be more worried if I read ten books on the subject and everyone has a completely opposing idea. That would mean nobody knows what they are doing. The advantage to this book is that it is very readable, each short chapter has numerous practical reflections included, and Elmer has many years of experience both in the field and as an educator to draw from. The disadvantage to this book is that it is dated and almost exclusively American/Western approach. Overall, it is a good introduction for someone first approaching the topic, but there are many other, biblically solid books on the subject that have more contemporary relevance.

[Ryan Martin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A phenomenal read that very succinctly and yet poignantly give principles and practices of how to cross cultures and serve effectively in them. Often cultural differences are mis-categorized or undervalued. However, this book elevates the need to be patient and deal with how to make engagements with others easier. As we recognize our own tendencies, as well being learners of the new culture, we can find open doors to allow cultural connectors to serve as a vehicle for gospel conversations. Whether staying for one week or several years, this book will undergird your mission service cross culturally.

[Jenna Long · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book would be helpful to anyone who is more from a Western//American context who is looking to go overseas or will be communicating with people from other cultures. It gives a really basic, but helpful, overview of what is important to know and understand before those interactions, so I would recommend it to anyone who has never studied cross-cultural communication before. He also does a good job of helping the reader reflect in each chapter, giving space to understand themselves and their culture better, in order to understand other cultures better.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was an incredibly helpful read. Having lived in an Asian country for a year and a half, I see the importance and relevance of the topics discussed. Not only were the topics relevant, but it was concisely written, making it accessible for many readers. This is a book I will recommend for anyone spending time in another country for ministry or business. In particular I appreciated the Biblical perspective that he provides in many of the chapters. It is obvious that Duane Elmer has the experience and expertise in crossing cultures and training others to do so.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book really helpful in my training to come to Romania. It challenged me to think about new aspects of culture that I’ve never considered before and interacted with me through activities and questions to help me determine my own cultural perceptions prior to leaving for the mission field. If you’re considering cross-cultural missions, you should give this book a read!

[Rachel Bill · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is extremely helpful, practical, and convicting. As an introvert who wants to share Christ here in the US as well as overseas, it provided many tips to increase my effectiveness in relating to people who are different than me. I would recommend it for everyone , no matter whether they are doing overseas missions or not.

[Anthony Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great to read before entry

I read this after three years in a new culture. I was well prepared and there isn’t much of anything Elmer writes which I missed before moving overseas. However, for others preparing to go or newly arrived who are t so prepared, this is a great one-stop-shop to prepare you for the challenges to come.

[Serena Yount · Rating 4 out of 5]

We read this as an assignment for our pre-field training. It was insightful and helpful, bringing up topics we hadn’t considered before. A lot of what it walked us through are future experiences that we haven’t walked through but will walk through in this next part of our lives as we move to Berlin. So, helpful and eye-opening.

[Alexander Proudfoot · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read most of this book for a class this semester. I can't imagine going back to finish it in the future, so I will mark it as read. Elmer's book is a very practical, how-to type of book that would be useful as an introductory read for cross-cultural work. It's not particularly deep in its concepts, but easy to read, with short chapters and questions for reflection.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

We read this in preparation for our summer mission trip to Haiti and it truly broadened my knowledge of connecting with others not only overseas but in the states after we returned. Sometimes the help others need is not the help we think they need!

[Justine · Rating 5 out of 5]

heart to heart about the differences between cultures and worldviews, with excellent self-reflection questions in each chapter, to thoroughly prepare for the inevitable shock of crossing cultures (whether here or abroad)

[Jonathan Klimek · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, I had no idea how significant the difference is between cultures around the world—at times completely opposite. Duane Elmer has demonstrated the importance of being well researched and prepared before ministering in a cross-cultural environment.

[Natalie Millican · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book for anyone to read! We all have something to learn about interacting with people of different cultures, ethnicities, backgrounds, religions, etc. This will be a book I come back to throughout our journey abroad.

[Ryan Linkous · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fine introductory book on intercultural communication from a Christian perspective. Would be really good reading for people who haven't been on a mission trip or who live in a multicultural area.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent introductory book on those preparing for cross-cultural ministry, work, and living. Loaded with concise, practical advice and examples. Highly recommend.

[Jessica Swiers · Rating 4 out of 5]

Must read for anyone new to going into a different culture.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

It does just what it promises - a must read for anyone who wants to be successful in another culture

[JAPHETH OYOO]

I want to read this book in order to get inspired to step out and fit in around the world

[Moriah Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent for anyone planning on crossing cultural lines for short or long term.

[Jessi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this one more than I thought I would. It's helpful, succinct, and has plenty of practical tips for entering another culture that is different from your own.

[Jess Day · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very informative, read it while heading to and on a missions trip!