Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life Quotes

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Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up by James Hollis
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Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life Quotes Showing 1-30 of 31
“What would happen to our lives, our world, if the parent could unconditionally affirm the child, saying in so many words: “You are precious to us; you will always have our love and support; you are here to be who you are; try never to hurt another, but never stop trying to become yourself as fully as you can; when you fall and fail, you are still loved by us and welcomed to us, but you are also here to leave us, and to go onward toward your own destiny without having to worry about pleasing us.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“Jung has so eloquently written of this biblical admonition: Acceptance of oneself is the essence of the moral problem and the acid test of one’s whole outlook on life. That I feed the beggar, that I forgive an insult, that I love my enemy in the name of Christ—all these are undoubtedly great virtues. What I do unto the least of my brethren, that I do unto Christ. But what if I should discover that the least amongst them all, the poorest of all beggars, the most impudent of all offenders, yea the very fiend himself—that these are within me, and that I myself stand in need of the alms of my own kindness, that I myself am the enemy who must be loved—what then?48”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“Doubt is unsettling to the ego, and those who are drawn to ideologies that promise the dispelling of doubt by proffering certainties will never grow. In seeking certainty they are courting the death of the soul, whose nature is forever churning possibility, forever seeking the larger, forever riding the melting edge of certainty’s glacier.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“fundamentalism is a form of mental illness that seeks to repress anxiety, ambiguity, and ambivalence. The more mature the personality structure, the greater the capacity of the person, and the culture, to tolerate the anxiety, ambiguity, and ambivalence that are a necessary and unavoidable dimension of our lives.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“a fear-driven spirituality will always diminish rather than enlarge.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“That of which we are not aware, owns us.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“The modern family is one in which the divergent values of our separate souls are supported, valued, encouraged. Diversity is not just tolerated, it is affirmed as the radical gift of relationship. Conflict is mediated with accepting love despite disagreement, and no one carries the assigned burden of becoming something other than what they are.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“Those who say that they know what kind of art they like, or what kind of god, or what kind of moral structure are saying that they like what kind of art, god, structure they know, that is that which makes them feel more comfortable. Being pried free of spiritual constraint is the gift doubt brings. The suppression of doubt ensures that we are left with a partial truth, a one-sided value, a prejudicial narrowing of the richness that life has to bring.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“As the child once fantasized that its wishes governed the world, and the youth fantasized that heroism could manage to do it all, so the person in the second half of life is obliged to come to a more sober wisdom based on a humbled sense of personal limitations and the inscrutability of the world.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“DURING THE COURSE of his long and distinguished career, the Irish poet W. B. Yeats often changed his themes, style, and personal philosophy, sometimes leaving behind the audience he had cultivated. When he was upbraided for this confusing constancy of change, he replied: The friends have it I do wrong Whenever I remake my song Should know what issue is at stake. It is myself that I remake.54”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“To be mindful of our fragile fate each day, in a non-morbid acknowledgment, helps us remember what is important in our life and what is not, what matters, really, and what does not.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“third choice was to strike off toward some new projection—a new job, a better (different) relationship, a seductive ideology, or sometimes to drift into some unconscious “self-treatment plan” such as an addiction or an affair.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“Though inland far we be, Our Souls have sight of that immortal sea Which brought us hither.” William Wordsworth,”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“gurus who will do the simplistic thinking for us and remove us from the suffering that forges larger and larger consciousness. They foster narcissism, naiveté, self-absorption, and indifference to others, promise magic versus the daily work of constructing our lives, and reward us with only superficial engagements with the”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“Today, Marxism and fascism have been replaced by only slightly subtler but no less spiritually seductive ideologies such as materialism, hedonism, and narcissism. This latter triumvirate mobilizes the spirit of most moderns, but in the end betrays them by failing to connect them to what is healing or innately satisfying. Without a “vertical” sense of participation in divinity, humankind is condemned to a sterile, “horizontal” existence, circling its own absurdity and ending in its own annihilation.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“There is some debate in professional circles about whether the so-called “midlife crisis” exists.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“Walnut Trees of Altenburg: The greatest mystery is not that we have been flung at random between the profusion of the earth and the galaxy of the stars, but that in this prison we can fashion images of ourselves sufficiently powerful to deny our nothingness.2”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“(Jung disturbingly observed that what we have ignored or denied inwardly will then more likely come to us as outer fate.) “So, where did this outcome, this event, come from within me?” is a most critical, and potentially liberating, question. To ask it consistently requires a daily discipline, increased personal responsibility, and no little amount of courage. It means that no matter how nervous we may be, we have to step toward center stage in that play we call our life, the only one we get.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“We think we can congratulate ourselves on having already reached such a pinnacle of clarity, imagining that we have left all these phantasmal gods far behind. But what we have left behind are only verbal specters, not the psychic facts that were responsible for the birth of the gods. We are still as much possessed today by autonomous psychic contents as if they were Olympians. Today they are called phobias, obsessions, and so forth; in a word, neurotic symptoms. The gods have become diseases; Zeus no long rules Olympus but rather the solar plexus, and produces curious specimens for the doctor’s consulting room, or disorders the brains of politicians and journalists who unwittingly let loose psychic epidemics on the world.32”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“The transient vacuities of our cultural icons—success, peace, happiness, and distraction—pale before the question of whether or not one experiences this life as meaningful.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“In other words to break an addiction we have to be able to face the unfaceable, think the unthinkable, bear the unbearable... The only way to go through them again is to go through them, to go down in that anxiety state and to feel what we really feel, is to go through and to break the tyranny of the addiction”
James Hollis PhD, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
tags: psycho
“image”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“In the end we will only be transformed when we can recognize and accept the fact that there is a will within each of us, quite outside the range of conscious control, a will which knows what is right for us, which is repeatedly reporting to us via our bodies, emotions, and dreams, and is incessantly encouraging our healing and wholeness.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“We need to be able to differentiate for a moment fear, anxiety and angst. Angst is existential anxiety, it comes with the condition: we are born, we are consious, we are aware of our fragility and mortality and that contributes to the sense of the peril in which daily life occurs. That’s existantial anxiety, it’s not pathological...it’s part of the suffering, of the human condition. Fear is something specific, something related to a specific threat, real or perceived, to our wellbeing. Anxiety is a free floating anticipatory emotion, anxiety is always in some way bound to the future, like something could happen here, something might happen. Paradoxicallly guilt binds us to the past and we always stuck in the past with guilt. And anxiety binds us to a possible future, a so improbable one, but a possible one. So in differentiating for a moment between fear and anxiety we realize that there can be therapeutic move from anxiety to fear, and you could say: oh, yea, i feel so much better already! I am not anxious anymore, i am just fearfiul. In many cases our fears are non existents or manageable, in many cases our fears are based on powerless past...most of our fears.. if you look at them as an adult, they are not going to happen, but if they were to happen, we can bear them, because we’ve also become adults, we have most of all we have psychological tensil strength, we have resiliance that child did not have, we have modes of behavious and other choices available to us, we have a capacity for toleration, we have a capacity for freedom of motion, that we didn’t have as a child... And so many times the effort to define a fear is to say it’s not going to happen, but if it were to happen, i can handle it, i can manage that. Fear in a sense is specific always, anxiety is like a fog that blows across the highway.,i t can keep us from driving as we can’t see clearly what is happening, but underneath all that we know that anxiety has power to cripple life.”
James Hollis PhD, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
tags: psycho
“triumphed over both fear of loss and desire of sovereignty, he is free, and therefore serene. How far such serenity is from the frenzies of our market-fueled fantasies of acquisition, control, and ownership, and therefore how constant is our terror of loss and our flight from the honesty of grief. Again, only through relinquishment, which is a deliberate act of letting go of the false hope of permanent purchase on life’s treasures, can one experience serenity, and at the same time savor the plenitude that has so richly come to each of us.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“Acceptance of oneself is the essence of the moral problem and the acid test of one’s whole outlook on life. That I feed the beggar, that I forgive an insult, that I love my enemy in the name of Christ—all these are undoubtedly great virtues. What I do unto the least of my brethren, that I do unto Christ. But what if I should discover that the least amongst them all, the poorest of all beggars, the most impudent of all offenders, yea the very fiend himself—that these are within me, and that I myself stand in need of the alms of my own kindness, that I myself am the enemy who must be loved—what then?48”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“Yet it is clear that we cannot choose not to choose, for not choosing is a choice from which consequences flow, and the inner split between soul and world widens.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“DURING THE COURSE of his long and distinguished career, the Irish poet W. B. Yeats often changed his themes, style, and personal philosophy, sometimes leaving behind the audience he had cultivated. When he was upbraided for this confusing constancy of change, he replied: The friends have it I do wrong Whenever I remake my song Should know what issue is at stake. It is myself that I remake. 54”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“At the same time, in speaking to women’s groups, I have suggested that women look at men this way: if they took away their own network of intimate friends, those with whom they share their personal journey, removed their sense of instinctual guidance, concluded that they were almost wholly alone in the world, and understood that they would be defined only by standards of productivity external to them, they would then know the inner state of the average man.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up
“Education derives from the verb educe, which means “to draw forth from within.” The original teaching method of Socrates has been largely displaced by professorial deference to received scholarly authority. By and large, our students are taught how to take exams but not to think, write, or find their own path.”
James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally, Really Grow Up

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