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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie
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Codependent No More Quotes Showing 151-180 of 208
“Many of us learned these things because when we were children, someone very important to us was unable to give us the love, approval, and emotional security we needed. So we’ve gone about our lives the best way we could, still looking vaguely or desperately for something we never got. Some of us are still beating our heads against the cement trying to get this love from people who, like Mother or Father, are unable to give what we need. The cycle repeats itself until it is interrupted and stopped. It’s called unfinished business.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“1. Finish business from our childhoods, as best as we can. Grieve. Get some perspective. Figure out how events from our childhoods are affecting what we’re doing now.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Medications have helped many people deal with very real symptoms of depression and anxiety—but for others, those same medications can conveniently mask the discomfort that could have pushed them to get help. Even cell phones can mask the pain behind obsessions: people don’t have to stay home and become uncomfortable waiting for him or her to call—they can bring their phone and their obsessions with them and act them out anywhere, anytime. We’ve learned to become therapeutically correct and cover our insecurity with all the right lingo.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Forgiveness is wonderful. It wipes the slate clean. It clears up guilt. It brings peace and harmony”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“2. Nurture and cherish that frightened, vulnerable, needy child inside us. The child may never completely disappear, no matter how self-sufficient we become. Stress may cause the child to cry out. Unprovoked, the child may come out and demand attention when we least expect it.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“3. Stop looking for happiness in other people. Our source of happiness and well-being is not inside others; it’s inside us. Learn to center ourselves in ourselves.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“4. We can learn to depend on ourselves.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“It’s clear now that codependency isn’t a fad, as some people once claimed. It’s come full circle. As family illnesses, from alcoholism to Alzheimer’s disease, continue to become openly discussed by more people, so does the number of people seeking help for codependency increase.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“5. We can depend on God, too. He’s there, and He cares. Our spiritual beliefs can provide us with a strong sense of emotional security.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“6. Strive for undependence. Begin examining the ways we are dependent, emotionally and financially, on the people around us.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Taking care of myself is a big job.
No wonder I avoided it for so long. —ANONYMOUS”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“For a variety of reasons, we may have lost faith in our ability to think and reason things out. Believing lies, lying to ourselves (denial), chaos, stress, low self-esteem, and a stomach full of repressed emotions may cloud our ability to think. We become confused. That doesn’t mean we can’t think.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Overreacting may impair our mental functioning. Decisiveness is hindered by worrying about what other people think, telling ourselves we have to be perfect, and telling ourselves to hurry. We falsely believe we can’t make the “wrong” choice, we’ll never have another chance, and the whole world waits and rises on this particular decision. We don’t have to do these things to ourselves.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“often seek love from people incapable of loving. believe”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“I do not deserve and will not tolerate abuse or constant mistreatment. I have rights, and it is my responsibility to assert these rights. The decisions I make and the way I conduct myself will reflect my high self-esteem. My decisions will take into account my responsibilities to myself.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Although some things appear not to have changed, things are constantly changing. Our consciousness, as individuals and as a society, has been raised. We’ve realized that women have souls, and men have feelings. And I’ve gone deeper into my healing process than I ever intended.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“I don’t know how much my writing has contributed to this consciousness-raising, and how much the consciousness-raising has contributed to my writing. But I’m grateful to be part of what’s happened”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Maybe we don’t need to go deeper into our codependency. We can, instead, march forward into our destinies. We can remember and practice all we’ve learned about addictions, codependency, and abuse. With compassion and boundaries, we need to commit fully to loving God, ourselves, and others. We need to commit fully to trusting God, ourselves, and our process.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Then we can be open to the next step. We are on time, and we are where we need to be. We can be trusted. So can God. And letting go and gratitude still work. Keep your head up and your heart open. And let’s see what’s next.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Codependents were a necessary nuisance. They were hostile, controlling, manipulative, indirect, guilt producing, difficult to communicate with, generally disagreeable, sometimes downright hateful, and a hindrance to my compulsion to get high.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“try to prove they’re good enough to be loved. don”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“The codependents in my life didn’t understand me, and the misunderstanding was mutual. I didn’t understand me, and I didn’t understand them.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Control is an illusion. It doesn’t work. We cannot control alcoholism. We cannot control anyone’s compulsive behaviors—overeating, sexual, gambling—or any of their behaviors. We cannot (and have no business trying to) control anyone’s emotions, mind, or choices. We cannot control the outcome of events.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“and paid back the welfare department for the financial help they gave me.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“recovery from codependency is exciting. It is liberating. It lets us be who we are. It lets other people be who they are. It helps us own our God-given power to think, feel, and act. It feels good. It brings peace. It enables us to love ourselves and others. It allows us to receive love—some of the good stuff we’ve all been looking for. It provides an optimum environment for the people around us to get and stay healthy. And recovery helps stop the unbearable pain many of us have been living with.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Most codependents were obsessed with other people. With great precision and detail, they could recite long lists of the addict’s deeds and misdeeds: what he or she thought, felt, did, and said; and what he or she didn’t think, feel, do, and say. The codependents knew what the alcoholic or addict should and shouldn’t do. And they wondered extensively why he or she did or didn’t do it. Yet these codependents who had such great insight into others couldn’t see themselves. They didn’t know what they were feeling. They weren’t sure what they thought. And they didn’t know what, if anything, they could do to solve their problems—if, indeed, they had any problems other than the alcoholics.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Make any decisions you need to make to take care of yourself, but don’t make them to control other people. Start taking care of yourself”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Even if the most important person in your world rejects you, you are still real, and you are still okay.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“Codependents aren’t crazier or sicker than alcoholics. But, they hurt as much or more.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
“why shouldn’t I react? Why shouldn’t I say something back? Why shouldn’t I be upset? He or she deserves to bear the brunt of my turmoil.” That may be, but you don’t.”
Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself