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At the Stroke of Midnight (The Naughty Princess Club, #1) At the Stroke of Midnight by Tara Sivec
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At the Stroke of Midnight Quotes Showing 1-29 of 29
“you’re totally going to bang that man like a screen door in a hurricane.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“I said yo. It’s a greeting. Sort of like hello, or what’s up, asshole. But that last one is just for friends, and we’re not friends, so I figured yo was the safest bet,” she says with a shrug.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“I put on my T-shirt that says FUCK BEING A PRINCESS, I WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE, drank my weight in vodka, and made a list of all the different ways I could kill my ex and make it look like an accident.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“That is not the purpose of this evening, and I’m not wearing this,” I tell her, throwing the dress right back at her.

“I just found out you like porn. I feel closer to you than ever before. Don’t ruin this for me. Get your ass in the bathroom and put on the slutty red dress,” she orders, grabbing my hand and smacking the dress into it.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“If he didn’t drag you into the closest dressing room and make you see God, you sucked at flirting.” Ariel points her finger at me as I swipe at my chin with the back of my hand. “Men are dumb. You need to speak in slow, short sentences and be direct. Don’t beat around the bush or he’ll never beat inside your bush.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“Fine. I’m just kidding. But I’m telling you, if we can’t come up with something quick, I am not opposed to selling my body on a street corner. I haven’t gotten laid in forever, and I wouldn’t mind a little action that doesn’t include a few grunts, a few pumps, and the guy rolling over and snoring.” “My word, what kind of men have you been with?” I ask. “Your ex,” she says with a blank expression.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“He cuts me off by placing one of his fingers over my lips, and I suddenly have the urge to lick it, even though I’m pissed at him. “I already told you, I’m making a list of all the ways you can pay me back. As for Anastasia, I gave her that money for purely selfish reasons. She’s a teenager, and frankly, she scares me. Jesus Christ . . . how do you even sleep at night?” he asks with a shudder. “Don’t judge me because I’m trying to buy her off in the hopes that she won’t kill me.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“We women need to stick together. You need to learn how to not let what people think bother you and decide what you want to do with your life,”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“That’s not why I’m doing this,” I reply indignantly, even though just the thought of finally being naked in a bed with that man makes me feel all warm and tingly. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, princess. You’re totally going to bang that man like a screen door in a hurricane. Especially when he sees you in this outfit,” Ariel states, looking me up and down. “Well,”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“I feel him tugging on the side of my lace thong. He strengthens the kiss, sweeping his tongue slow and deep through my mouth as he yanks as hard as he can on my thong. “OW! Son of a bitch!” I shout, pulling my mouth away from his as the lace digs into the side of my hip. “Sorry! Shit. I was trying to be all cool and rip these fuckers off you, but Jesus Christ what are they made out of, steel?” he mutters in annoyance, looking down between us as he continues to pull and tug at the material that refuses to tear.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“If it’s burning eternally, it’s probably chlamydia,” Ariel deadpans.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“He looks like the kind of man who could go for hours, doesn’t he?” I ask with a dreamy sigh, wishing I could just keep remembering how annoying he is instead of constantly reliving every single moment of straddling his lap, moving against him, the feel of his warm breath against my neck, the curses he muttered in my ear, and how tightly he clenched my hair in his fist. Is it getting hot in here or is it just me? “Who wants a man that can go for hours? I’ve got shit to watch on my DVR, and I need my beauty sleep. Get in and get out,” Ariel replies.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“I don’t think this is a children’s princess party!” I shout over the noise of the rambunctious men as a shower of dollar bills land at my feet. One of the men yells “TAKE IT OFF!”

“Gee, you think?!” Ariel yells back. “Some guy just unzipped his pants and pulled his dick out!”

Isabelle whimpers, shoving her face harder into Ariel’s arm.

“What did you do?!”

“What do you think I did? I looked at it. It was a pretty good dick. Nice length, excellent girth. I give it an 8.5 on the dick scale,” she says with a shrug. “He lost a point and a half for calling his dick Sanford and informing me that Sanford spits when he’s excited. Like I haven’t heard that one before. Lame.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Small-business license, website design, filing tax paperwork, blah, blah, blah, Cindy’s getting a frickle shoved in her frackle,” Ariel shouts after me.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“Did your mother not teach you any manners?” I huff.

“We’re. Fucking. Closed. You’re fucking welcome.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“Remind me to sneak you out of the bedroom window of your dad’s house more often. Look at Belle getting white-girl wasted,”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“I gave her that money for purely selfish reasons. She’s a teenager, and frankly, she scares me. Jesus Christ . . . how do you even sleep at night?” he asks with a shudder. “Don’t judge me because I’m trying to buy her off in the hopes that she won’t kill me.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“I would pick him over anyone. He gave me everything you never could and never will because you are a pathetic excuse for a man. He gave me understanding and he gave me confidence and you know what else he gave me? ORGASMS!” I shout.

“Oh, Jesus,” Ariel mutters from next to me.
“You couldn’t find my clit with a flashlight and Google Maps!”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“Since your asshole ex-husband took all his shit with him and we have nothing fun to burn, we’ll start with this pile of shitty clothes,” she tells me, kicking the stack with her toe.

“We’re not burning my clothes. Do you have any idea how expensive those pieces were?” I argue, even though the sight of all my monotone, plain clothing makes me want to reach for the closest lighter.

“Cindy, you had a breakthrough the other night. You are on the track toward recovery and the first step is admitting you have a problem. Repeat after me: I will no longer put things on my body that are golden wheat, ecru, light baby-shit tan, or anything else in the beige family unless what I’m putting on my body is an actual man with that color skin tone,” Ariel recites, putting her hands on her hips and raising one eyebrow as she waits for me to comply with her request. “And we don’t have to burn everything. Just a few pieces to make you feel better. And by you I mean me, because if I have to look at this crap any longer, I’m going to throw up in my mouth. We can sell the rest.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“I booked hotel rooms in the city, I lit candles, I planned surprise weekend getaways, I bought porn! My Google search history is probably still full of all the porn I bought, and tomorrow I might get hit by a bus and people will see my Google porn history and it won’t be pretty!” I sob. “For three years I tried everything I could to get my husband to have sex with me, and nothing worked. Now I’m going to die, sexless and alone, with student/teacher pornography stuck in my cookies!”

Ariel quickly drops down next to me, grabs the Clone-a-Willy from my hand and chucks it across the room.

“You are NOT going to die sexless and alone with anything stuck in your cookie, aside from another much larger, much more enjoyable frickle,” Ariel reassures me.

“He really didn’t have a very satisfying frickle. God, I miss sex,” I say with a sigh.

“His frickle was fucked, and he wouldn’t know how to use it if he had a road map and a tour guide.”

“See? It’s fun saying frickle!” Belle exclaims.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“The blow job thing? Sorry about that. I know she’s your friend, but she’s a bitch. You can tell just by looking at her that she’s never had a dick in her mouth. Poor Bob,” Ariel says with a sigh and a shake of her head.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“you’re dressed like a skank because you are a skank. Deep down, under the beige and pearls and PTA bake sales, is a Clone-a-Willy and fetish-porn lover, screaming to get out. Let the skank out, Cindy. Let her out and let her fuck shit up.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“FuckmePJ,” I mumble quickly, my cheeks flushing with heat.

“I’m sorry, twat did you say? I cunt here you. Louder!” Ariel orders.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“This is where you take back your life and give a giant fuck you to that dipshit of an ex-husband. And that hot piece of man meat out there in the audience who has no idea what’s about to hit him.” My eyes start to burn as they fill with tears, and I quickly blink them back before they ruin the perfect cat-eye eyeliner and false lashes she applied for me in the dressing room an hour ago. “That was the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me,” I tell her with a sniffle. “Just think: Instead of having that giant pole up your ass, you’ll have it in the palm of your hands and be swinging on it in about forty-five seconds,” she says with a smirk. “And then you go and completely ruin it,” I mutter with a shake of my head,”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“When I don’t immediately reply, she punches me in the arm. “Ow, what the hell?! Just give me a minute!” I yell at her. “Yeah, that’s it! Get mad!” she demands, punching me again. “SON OF A BITCH, I WANT YOUR COCK IN MY PUSSY!” I shout at the top of my lungs, glaring at her as I rub the spot on my arm that already feels like it’s bruising. “BEND ME OVER THE COUCH AND FUCK ME HARD!” Ariel screams, threatening me with her fist held up in the air. “BEND ME OVER THE COUCH AND FUCK ME HARD!” Ariel claps her hands together in glee and bounces up and down on her stool. “Oh my God this is so much fun! It’s like having my very own wind-up, talking hussy doll. I WANT TO LICK YOUR BALLS!” “I WANT TO LICK YOUR BALLS!” I immediately shout back, starting to get the hang of this and not even a little bit embarrassed by the things coming out of my mouth now. “FUCK ME HARDER, LICK MY PUSSY, PUT YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, STICK IT IN MY ASS, TOSS MY MOTHERFUCKING SALAD!” Ariel immediately stops clapping and looks at me with wide eyes. “What? Too far?” I ask. “Jesus, way too far. I know I told you to cruise around on Urban Dictionary to pick up some new words, but that was clearly a mistake.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“For the love of God, Cynthia, get a grip. “Ten P.M. Friday. Less housewife, more exotic dancer,” he reminds me. “If you can handle that.” He folds himself into the front seat, closing the door and backing down my driveway as I shout after him again, even though he can’t hear me. “Oh, I can handle that! You don’t even KNOW what I can handle. I’m going to show my boobs and maybe even put glitter on them! I’M GOING TO HAVE STRIPPER GLITTER BOOBS AND YOU’LL BE THE ONE WHO CAN’T HANDLE THAT!”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“I’m sorry, twat did you say? I cunt here you. Louder!”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“Why are you looking at my cock and thanking God like that?” he asks as I watch him quickly sheath his impressive length with the condom. “Just glad it’s not crooked or covered with troll hair,” I mumble, shaking my head at him when he looks at me in confusion. “Nothing. Just hurry up.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight
“I watch him go until Ariel walks up next to me, and I turn to face her.

“I took my shirt off in my front yard,” I tell her.

“Yep.”

“I said fuck a lot. Like, A LOT,” I add.

“You did.”

“I made out with a guy with my shirt off, in my front yard, after saying fuck a lot, and I’m still not wearing a shirt,” I remind her.

“Are you gonna pass out? Because if you are, I’ve had entirely too much vodka to carry your ass into the house, and the guy who did it last time just left.”
Tara Sivec, At the Stroke of Midnight