The Fran Lebowitz Reader Quotes

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The Fran Lebowitz Reader The Fran Lebowitz Reader by Fran Lebowitz
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The Fran Lebowitz Reader Quotes Showing 1-23 of 23
“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not possibly have met.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“Sleep is death without the responsibility.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one’s soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive – you are leaking.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“فكر قبل أن تتكلم، واقرأ قبل أن تفكر”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
tags: artsy
“Think before you speak, read before you think.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass. Your life story would not make a good book. Do not even try.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“People have been cooking and eating for thousands of years, so if you are the very first to have thought of adding lime juice to scalloped potatoes try to understand there must be a reason for this.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
tags: food
“There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“Sarcasm: what they have in New York instead of jacuzzis.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don’t know won’t hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“I open the refrigerator. I decide against the half a lemon and jar of Gulden’s mustard and on the spur of the moment choose instead to have breakfast out. I guess that’s just the kind of girl I am—whimsical. 5:10”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“That I am totally devoid of sympathy for, or interest in, the world of groups is directly attributable to the fact that my two greatest needs and desires — smoking cigarettes and plotting revenge — are basically solitary pursuits.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable. The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one’s soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive—you are leaking.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“I must take issue with the term “a mere child,” for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult. *”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“lack, or loutish and crass kollective is a program dedicated to the proposition that vulgarity and bad taste are an inalienable right. the lackies, as they are sometimes called, meet if they feel like it at program headquarters, which is known as La Gaucherie. La Gaucherie is densely furnished with seven thousand always-in-operation console color televisions, nine hundred constantly blaring quadrophonic stereos, shag rugs in six hundred and seventy-eight decorator colors, and am eclectic mix of Mediterranean-style dining room sets, fun sofas, interesting wall hangings, and modular seating systems. These members not otherwise occupied practicing the electric guitar or writing articles for Playgirl sit around in unduly comfortable positions expressing their honest feelings and opinions in loud tones of voice. Male lackies are encouraged to leave unbuttoned the first five buttons of their shirts unless they have unusually pale skin and hairy chests, in which case they are required to do so. Female members are encouraged to encourage them. Both sexes participate in a form of meditation that consists of breathing deeply of musk oil while wearing synthetic fabrics. The eventual goal of this discipline is to reach the state of mind known as Los Angeles.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“Women who insist upon having the same options as men would do well to consider the option of being the strong silent type.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader
“I am not a callous sort. I believe that all people should have warm clothing, sufficient food, and adequate shelter. I do feel, however, that unless they are willing to behave in an acceptable manner they should bundle up, chow down, and stay home.”
Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader