The Awakened Family Quotes

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The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting by Shefali Tsabary
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“The idea that “I need to be happy” or “my child deserves to be happy” comes from a sense that the present moment is somehow lacking. In other words, we see our life through a lens of scarcity, noticing all the things we don’t have instead of the abundant way the universe provides for us. And so, as the Declaration of Independence sanctions, we set off in “the pursuit of happiness,” not realizing that this can never bring us happiness. On the contrary, it’s the breeding ground of discontent and disappointment. You”
Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting
“To move away from all illusion that our children are maliciously intent on triggering us is an important step on the path of awakening. When we dare to let go of the mainstream idea that they push our buttons on purpose, we awaken to the true extent of our own immaturity. Without having them to blame on any level, we are now forced to confront our inner lack and discover the reasons why it exists.”
Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting
“We cannot control our children. We can only create the conditions for them to rise. What this means is that we need to stop expending our energy on trying to control who they are and how they turn out in the future. The real challenge is to keep our eyes on the parameters that are truly under our control - ourselves, and the way the home functions.”
Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting
“Our expectations come from a place of heavy judgment, where without our conscious awareness we create images of how things should play out. When we operate from this place of "should," we inadvertently give off energy communicating that we are right and anyone who opposes us is wrong. Before we know it, we occupy a place of rigidity, superiority, and close-mindedness that immediately pits the other against us. As we all know, once both parties are locked in this dance, it's hard for either to break free.”
Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting
“Do you see me?” This is the big question your child is asking every day. “Can you recognize me for who I am, different from your dreams and expectations for me, separate from your agenda for me?”
Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting
“They need us to affirm their intrinsic goodness, regardless of the ugly things they may say or do at times. This is how their natural inborn belief in themselves becomes solidly grounded instead of masked by ego.”
Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting
“They need us to affirm their intrinsic goodness, regardless of the ugly things they may say or do at times. This is how their natural inborn belief in themselves becomes solidly grounded instead of masked by ego. A sense of our children’s worth flourishes when the way we look at them, the way we listen to them, and the way we speak to them reflect just how lovable they are. This is how we empower them—how we draw out in them their innately powerful sense of self, which is what will carry them successfully through life. Only when we can separate our fantasies concerning who our children should be from who they actually are can we do justice to their original essence and craft our parenting to allow for this essence to flourish.”
Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting
“We are triggered not by their behavior, but by our own unresolved emotional issues.”
Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting
“I pledge to: No longer look for an experience to be other than what it is. Not need an experience to make me happy but instead to make me grow. Not look to what I didn’t receive but instead to introspect on what I chose to give. Stop interpreting experiences based on outcome but instead interpret them based on process. Resist judging life or myself for not being perfect and instead to embrace the wholeness of the imperfections.”
Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting
“The problem is that in our great desire to see our children do well, we interact with them through the lens of fear that they might fail - a fear that our children absorb.”
Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting
“Disconnection doesn't occur when there's dissent, but when there's intolerance of each other's differences.”
Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting
“So many parents are puzzled when their children seclude themselves in their room and refuse to leave their sanctuary. They wonder, "Why don't my children want to talk to me when I'm so open and willing to discuss things?" The reason our children turn away from us is that they sense that our desire to talk is all about us - our need to manage our anxiety and exert control.”
Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting