All Is Not Forgotten Quotes

Rate this book
Clear rating
All Is Not Forgotten All Is Not Forgotten by Wendy Walker
20,807 ratings, 3.69 average rating, 2,680 reviews
Open Preview
All Is Not Forgotten Quotes Showing 1-28 of 28
“Sitting on my bed with all these things I used to love but not loving them anymore, I just wanted to set them on fire. That's when I knew I was never going to be all right again.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“We are small, inconsequential beings. It is only our place in the hearts of others that fills us up, that gives us our purpose, our pride, and our sense of self. We need our parents to love us without condition, without logic, and beyond reason. We need them to see us through lenses warped by this love and to tell us in every way that just having us walk this earth fills them with joy.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“I wanted to peel myself off of me.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“He was that driven, that smart. But he could not sit still within himself.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“With youth comes the inability to know what’s going to happen as a decision is played out. It is one of the greatest shames of the human experience that by the time we know how to conduct ourselves in an appropriate manner, there’s little conducting left to do. Fairview”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“Every brain is different. And so must be every course of therapy.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“White lies, black lies, a million lies a million times every day, everywhere, by every one of us. We are all hiding something from someone. This”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“It requires far more strength to experience emotion than to suppress it.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“We have more than enough people to remind us of that, to give us dispassionate evaluations of our mediocrity.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“We are small, inconsequential beings. It is only our place in the hearts of others that fills us up, that gives us our purpose, our pride, and our sense of self.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“years: You. Your spouse. Your child. Your friends. The people who love you. The people who hate you. Terrorists in the Middle East. The politicians raising your taxes and making bad policies. The teacher who gave your son a bad grade. The couple who didn’t invite you to a dinner. I have gone down this mental path when things have upset me. I find it puts life in perspective. It can be a good thing, to remember that there is very little that truly matters. A bad grade. A dumb politician. A social slight. Unfortunately, there are things that do matter. Things that can ruin what little time we have here. Things that cannot be done over or remedied. These are the things that we regret. And regret is more devious than guilt. It is more corrosive than envy. And it is more powerful than fear.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“We are small, inconsequential beings. It is only our place in the hearts of others that fills us up, that gives us our purpose, our pride, and our sense of self. We need our parents to love us without condition, without logic, and beyond reason. We need them to see us through lenses warped by this love and to tell us in every way that just having us walk this earth fills them with joy. Yes, we will come to learn that our clay giraffes were not masterly. But when we pull them out of our attics, they should make us cry, knowing that when our parents saw these ugly pieces of plaster, they felt ridiculously misplaced pride, and they wanted to hug us until our bones hurt. This is what we need from our parents, more than the truth about how small we are. We will have more than enough people to remind us of that, to give us dispassionate evaluations of our mediocrity.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“I tell my young patients, and my own children, that this is not their life. Not yet. What they are doing now is building a house. It is a house they will have to live in for the rest of their lives, so they’d better get it right. They will be able to remodel, redecorate, and repair. But they can never rebuild. Everything they put into this house, every emotional scar from a bad relationship, every sexual perversion they give in to, every opportunity they secure for themselves, every drug they allow to interrupt the maturing of their growing brains, will be forever in the foundation of that house.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“If you were to touch a hot stove and burn your hand, but later were made to forget how you got the burn, your body would still have the fear of being burned. Only it would not be activated only by hear, or a red-hot burner on a stove. It would come and go at its leisure, and you would have no idea how to stop it.”
wendy walker, All Is Not Forgotten
tags: ptsd
“Feelings do not require justification.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“Things may need to be said, but not necessarily heard by the other.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“How is it we can do those things, things that feel permanent, like even if the relationship ended, those feelings would still be there? It makes me not believe in anything, in any feeling, in any profession, in any love at all. It's all just bullshit. Just hormones and lust and needs and filling people's gaps, the holes in their souls. We all just use each other, don't we? Nothing is what it seems.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“Reading parenting books—and all self-help books, as far as I’m concerned—is the equivalent of learning math from a dog.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“White lies, black lies, a million lies a million times every day, everywhere, by every one of us. We are all hiding something from someone.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“Há coisas que talvez tenham de ser verbalizadas, mas não necessariamente ouvidas pelo outro. P102”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“The seeds of doubt grow like weeds when given enough sun. Enough water. Enough nurturing.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“But sometimes it becomes more than that. Sometimes the weaker loves, the lust-driven loves, the filling holes, turn into more. And sometimes those momentary connections, the ones that catch us off guard like a cold wind coming around the corner of a building, sometimes those stay put and then become an anchor for a more permanent connection.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“Los padres de Tom son docentes e intelectuales. Su padre dio clases de Literatura en el Connecticut College durante treinta años. Su madre trabajaba en la secretaría de exalumnos. Vivían y respiraban universidad, y se ufanaban de ser cultos, cosa que se reflejaba en todo lo que hacían y eran. En gran parte era inofensivo, y hasta beneficioso, para Tom y su hermana pequeña, Kathy. Las vacaciones eran siempre de acampada familiar. No les dejaban ver la tele sin supervisión, y solo los fines de semana. Imaginaos lo insulso que era el contenido autorizado. Tenían que leer diez libros por verano, y a colonias nunca iban. Nada de quedarse a dormir en casa de un amigo. Toque de queda estricto, y cada domingo a la iglesia, aunque de religión se hablaba más en términos de teoría y sociología que de pasión y fe. Lo evaluaban y lo analizaban todo, despojándolo de las influencias emocionales que pudieran llevar a creer en una mentira o a actuar de modo erróneo. Seguro que conocéis a gente de este tipo. A los no tan disciplinados les despiertan ganas de zarandearlos hasta que se desprenda alguna emoción, aunque se queden inconscientes. No parecen humanos, a pesar de su tan buen comportamiento.
¿En qué se traducía todo esto para Tom? Si llegaba a casa con sobresalientes, no había euforia, abrazos, besos ni llamadas por teléfono a los abuelos. Nada de monedas para la hucha, ni de postre especial, ni de saltarse una práctica de piano. No pegaban las notas a la nevera, no; las evaluaban y las comentaban, y a Tom le recordaban que sus notas eran un reflejo de lo mucho que había trabajado, y que no se pensara que era mejor o más listo que los otros. Y cuando cantaba en la obra de fin de curso, o anotaba una carrera en el partido de béisbol, o traía un animal de barro pintado de la asignatura de arte, con un vago parecido a una jirafa… Todo lo que hacía Tom era objeto de valoración sincera y desapasionada. En el segundo estribillo has desafinado un poco, Tom. A la primera base has llegado más que nada por suerte, Tom. No te creas que te volverá a pasar. Tienes que practicar más. Hombre, se nota que te has divertido haciéndolo.
Sí, ¿verdad? Exacto. Un poco adelantados a su tiempo, precursores de los consejos educativos que nos han endosado durante la pasada década. No hay que estar orgulloso de los hijos. Son ellos los que tienen que enorgullecerse. Tampoco hay que hacer falsos elogios, porque entonces dejan de fiarse de nuestras opiniones. No hay que dejarlos por el mundo creyéndose mejores de lo que son, porque solo servirá para que se lleven una decepción. La verdadera autoestima es la que viene de tener unos padres sinceros.
Yo estos disparates los rechazo desde siempre. En eso soy un caso aparte.
Somos seres pequeños e insignificantes. Lo único que nos llena, lo que nos da un horizonte, orgullo, sentido del yo, es el lugar que ocupamos en los corazones de la gente. Necesitamos que nos quieran nuestros padres sin condicionantes, sin lógica ni racionalidad. Necesitamos que nos vean a través de un cristal distorsionado por su amor y que nos digan de todas las maneras posibles que los llena de felicidad el mero hecho de que estemos en el mundo. De acuerdo, algún día nos daremos cuenta de que nuestras jirafas de barro no eran magistrales, pero es necesario que nos hagan llorar siempre que las bajemos de nuestros desvanes, sabiendo que cuando nuestros padres veían estos trozos de yeso tan feos sentían un orgullo absurdo y ganas de abrazarnos hasta que nos dolieran los huesos. Es lo que necesitamos de los padres, más que la verdad sobre lo pequeños que somos. Ya habrá gente de sobra que nos lo recuerde y nos ofrezca evaluaciones desapasionadas de nuestra mediocridad.”
Wendy Walker, All is Not Forgotten
“It requires far more strength to experience emotion than to suppress it.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“This is what we need from our parents, more than the truth about how small we are. We will have more than enough people to remind us of that, to give us dispassionate evaluations of our mediocrity. It”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“An instinct may explain a reaction. But that does not mean the reaction”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“Empathy is defined this way: “the ability to share and understand the feelings of another.” Women talking for hours at a lunch. Men walking the golf course together every Sunday morning. Teenage girls glued to their phones. This is when we tell our stories, sometimes in meticulous detail, watch the expressions in others as they take in the words. We extract from them their sympathy, their joy, their understanding. We do this so we are not alone as we walk slowly toward our death. Empathy is at the very core of our humanity. Life is pain without it.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten
“Je wil werd gebroken door je behoefte aan liefde; een behoefte die je moeder niet vervulde.”
Wendy Walker, All Is Not Forgotten