The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Quotes

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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, #1) The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
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The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Quotes Showing 241-270 of 723
“The only thing we can do now,” said Benjy, crouching and stroking his whiskers in thought, “is to try and fake a question, invent one that will sound plausible.”
“Difficult,” said Frankie. He thought. “How about, What's yellow and dangerous?”
Benjy considered this for a moment.
“No, no good,” he said. “Doesn't fit the answer.”
They sank into silence for a few seconds.
“All right,” said Benjy. “What do you get if you multiply six by seven?
“No, no, too literal, too factual,” said Frankie, “wouldn't sustain the punter's interest.”
Again they thought.
Then Frankie said: “Here's a thought. How many roads must a man walk down?
“Ah!” said Benjy. “Aha, now that does sound promising!” He rolled the phrase around a little. “Yes,” he said, “that's excellent! Sounds very significant without actually tying you down to meaning anything at all. How many roads must a man walk down? Forty-two. Excellent, excellent, that'll fox 'em. Frankie, baby, we are made!”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
tags: 42
“But it was not in any way a coincidence that today, the day of culmination of the project, the great day of unveiling, the day that the Heart of Gold was finally to be introduced to a marveling Galaxy, was also a great day of culmination for Zaphod Beeblebrox. It was for the sake of this day that he had first decided to run for the presidency, a decision that had sent shock waves of astonishment throughout the Imperial Galaxy. Zaphod Beeblebrox? President? Not the Zaphod Beeblebrox? Not the President? Many had seen it as clinching proof that the whole of known creation had finally gone bananas.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“I like the cover,” he said. “‘Don’t Panic.’ It’s the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody’s said to me all day.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“Povero me!’ dice Dio. ‘Non ci avevo pensato!’ e sparisce immediatamente in una nuvoletta di logica.
“‘Oh, com’è stato facile!’ dice l’Uomo, e, per fare il bis, passa a dimostrare che il nero è bianco, per poi finire ucciso sul primo attraversamento pedonale che successivamente incontra.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“By this time somebody somewhere must have manned a radio transmitter, located a wavelength and broadcast a message back to the Vogon ships, to plead on behalf of the planet. Nobody ever heard what they said, they only heard the reply. The PA slammed back into life again. The voice was annoyed. It said: “What do you mean, you’ve never been to Alpha Centauri? For heaven’s sake, mankind, it’s only four light-years away, you know. I’m sorry, but if you can’t be bothered to take an interest in local affairs that’s your own lookout. “Energize the demolition beams.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“You know,” said Arthur, “it’s at times like this, when I’m trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space, that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.” “Why, what did she tell you?” “I don’t know, I didn’t listen.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“I suppose you’ll want to see the aliens now,” he said. “Do you want me to sit in a corner and rust, or just fall apart where I’m standing?”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“He was trying to marshal his arguments for proving that he did not now constitute a mental-health hazard himself. He was far from certain about this – his mind seemed to be full of noise, horses, smoke, and the stench of blood.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“You want to check your legal position, you do, mate. Under law the Quest for Ultimate Truth is quite clearly the inalienable prerogative of your working thinkers. Any bloody machine goes and actually finds it and we’re straight out of a job, aren’t we? I mean, what’s the use of our sitting up half the night arguing that there may or may not be a God if this machine only goes and gives you his bleeding phone number the next morning?”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“Those who study the complex interplay of cause and effect in the history of the Universe say that this sort of thing is going on all the time, but that we are powerless to prevent it. 'It's just life,' they say.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“They would appear,” said Ford doubtfully, “to have turned into a bowl of petunias and a very surprised-looking whale”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“Stress and nervous tension are now serious social problems in all parts of the Galaxy, and it is in order that this situation should not be in any way exacerbated that the following facts will now be revealed in advance. The planet in question is in fact the legendary Magrathea. The deadly missile attack shortly to be launched by an ancient automatic defense system will result merely in the breakage of three coffee cups and a mouse cage, the bruising of somebody’s upper arm, and the untimely creation and sudden demise of a bowl of petunias and an innocent sperm whale. In order that some sense of mystery should still be preserved, no revelation will yet be made concerning whose upper arm sustains the bruise. This fact may safely be made the subject of suspense since it is of no significance whatsoever.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“The old me knew. The old me cared. Fine, so far so good. Except that the old me cared so much that he actually got inside his own brain--my own brain--and locked off the bits that knew and cared, because if I knew and cared I wouldn't be able to do it.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“The thing that used to worry him most was the fact that people always used to ask him what he was looking so worried about.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in 'It's a nice day,' or 'You're very tall,' or 'Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?' At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behavior. If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favor of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“Beş yıldır tamamen kör olduğuna inanmışken ansızın, aslında yalnızca çok büyük bir şapka giymekte olduğunu fark eden bir adam kadar şaşkındı.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“On the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much -the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time.But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were fat more intelligent than man, for precisely the same reason”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council,” the voice continued. “As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“Teasers are usually rich kids with nothing to do. They cruise around looking for planets that haven’t made interstellar contact yet and buzz them.” “Buzz them?” Arthur began to feel that Ford was enjoying making life difficult for him. “Yeah,” said Ford, “they buzz them. They find some isolated spot with very few people around, then land right by some poor unsuspecting soul whom no one’s ever going to believe and then strut up and down in front of him wearing silly antennas on their head and making beep beep noises.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“What are you after?"
...
"Well," said Zaphod airily, "It's partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure, but mostly I think it's the fame and the money....”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
tags: humor
“He had had a terribly therapeutic yell at his prisoners and was now feeling quite relaxed and ready for a little callousness. The prisoners sat in Poetry Appreciation chairs—strapped in. Vogons suffered no illusions as to the regard their works were generally held in. Their early attempts at composition had been part of a bludgeoning insistence that they be accepted as a properly evolved and cultured race,”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“Ten million years, Earthman, can you conceive of that kind of time span? A galactic civilization could grow from a single worm five times over in that time. Gone.” He paused. “Well, that’s bureaucracy for you,”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“Did you ever go to a place . . . I think it was called Norway?” “No,” said Arthur, “no, I didn’t.” “Pity,” said Slartibartfast, “that was one of mine. Won an award, you know. Lovely crinkly edges. I was most upset to hear of its destruction.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“Deliliği evlerine kiracı almış haneler vardı.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“Trillian had come to suspect that the main reason he had had such a wild and successful life was that he never really understood the significance of anything he did.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“That’s right,” shouted Vroomfondel, “we demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“Anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem. Please relax. You will be sent for soon.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in It’s a nice day, or You’re very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right? At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months’ consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about the terrible number of things they didn’t know about.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
“The chances of finding out what's really going on in the universe are so remote, the only thing to do his hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied.”
Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy