Meet Robert Crais

Well finally, I get my chance to tell ya'll the truth about one Robert Crais...First off..because Mr Crais is such a good writer and because I am inclined to not put a book down until I am finished reading it..Robert Crais has had a very unusual influence on my love life...my other love life and ....my work life also..my boss says he sees me with another Crais book that I smuggled into work and my boss ( my uncle Norbert) said he will give me a Joe Pike style ass whoopin before he fires my lazy but well read ass..My sweetie of 4 years up and hit the trail after complaining that I would rather be involved with a couple of bad boys named Elvis and Joe..then I would spending nights with her and her addiction to world wrestling goons and having to answer questions about my relationship to this Robert Crais dweeb...Well when I accidentally called her Elvis when we were having a fine love serenade..That finally did our forever lovers story an adios...She said that maybe Robert can come scratch your back and cook you dinner every night..I told her it ain't cooking dinner when all she does is put a T,V. Dinner in the oven..and she can't cook macaroni and cheese worth a damn...Anyway..so Robert is a home breaker as are his rowdy boys Je and Elvis..BUT as luck would have it..I met a sweet and interesting laDY THAT WAS SURE TO BE MY KIND OF SWEETIE,,sHE'S A LIBRARIAN..i MET AT BINGO..AND TWO WEEKS NOW AND SHE HAS NOT CURSED ROBERT NOR INTERFERED WITH ME AND ELVIS AND JOE...UNTIL i GOT HOME TODAY THAT IS...SHE SAID THAT SHE KNOWS ALL ABOUT ROBERT CRAIS..HOW HE GETS DUNDERHEADS (?) LIKE ME TO BECOME FANS..AND BEFORE LONG...ALL OF OUR TIME IS SPENT TALKING ABOUT JoE AND ELVIS...AND THEY AREN'T AS REAL AS MY Librarian lkove nest was BAILING OUT AND CALLING CRAIS A TALENTED BUT HEARTLESS LOVE CRUSHER..wELL i TRIED TO REEASON WITH HER BUT SHE SAID UNTIL AND UNLESS i JOIN a 12 step group that will help me to live a better life not addicted to Crais and his hard ass two...I lasted a week and someone said Joe Pike had killed another gazillion men while Elvis cracked wise..and I guess I am to blame for loving the Craiis mans writing in the book...much better then the gals writing on the wall...,and I have noticed that aside from the lovey dovey that is as much available as a Elvis Cole quote when you wish you had a goofy comeback when the old gals get jealous of the boys..I have decided to forgive Robert, Elvis and Joe..but beings my Library sweetie seems to have taken my T.V...my toy collection..don't ask..and my subscription to raisin hell in Heaven.Redneck style..I am better off with Crais torment then love songs that never seem to solve lifes problems...I finally feel good about felling so dang bad..Thanks Robert..P.S...I told my Uncle that you had sent him a message about his threatening me all the time..I told him Crais told me to tell you to kiss my hill-billy ass..and Joe Pike knows where you livfe...I admit the ass whoopin I got was not as ornery as I expected..The things a man will do to save his honor..huh?