MihaElla ’s Reviews > Notes from Underground > Status Update
MihaElla
is on page 19 of 160
Observe yourselves more carefully, gentlemen, then you will understand that it is so. I invented adventures for myself and made up a life, so as at least to live in some way. How many times it has happened to me--well, for instance, to take offence simply on purpose, for nothing; and one knows oneself, of course, that one is offended at nothing;
— Mar 26, 2023 01:49AM
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MihaElla ’s Previous Updates
MihaElla
is on page 91 of 160
Even in my underground dreams I did not imagine love except as a struggle. I began it always with hatred and ended it with moral subjugation, and afterwards I never knew what to do with the subjugated object. And what is there to wonder at in that, since I had succeeded in so corrupting myself, since I was so out of touch with "real life," as to have actually thought of reproaching her, and putting her
— Mar 26, 2023 10:44PM
MihaElla
is on page 90 of 160
This time she understood it all. I had insulted her finally, but ... there's no need to describe it. She realised that my outburst of passion had been simply revenge, a fresh humiliation, and that to my earlier, almost causeless hatred was added now a PERSONAL HATRED, born of envy.... […] but she certainly did fully understand that I was a despicable man, and what was worse, incapable of loving her.
— Mar 26, 2023 10:35PM
MihaElla
is on page 70 of 160
The poor girl was keeping that student's letter as a precious treasure, and had run to fetch it, her only treasure, because she did not want me to go away without knowing that she, too, was honestly and genuinely loved; that she, too, was addressed respectfully. No doubt that letter was destined to lie in her box and lead to nothing. But none the less, I am certain that she would keep it all her life as a
— Mar 26, 2023 12:01PM
MihaElla
is on page 31 of 160
Every man has reminiscences which he would not tell to everyone,but only to his friends.He has other matters in his mind which he would not reveal even to his friends,but only to himself,& that in secret.But there are other things which a man is afraid to tell even to himself,& every decent man has a number of such things stored away in his mind.The more decent he is,the greater the number of such things in his mind
— Mar 26, 2023 05:20AM
MihaElla
is on page 27 of 160
The long and the short of it is, gentlemen, that it is better to do nothing! Better conscious inertia! And so hurrah for underground! Though I have said that I envy the normal man to the last drop of my bile, yet I should not care to be in his place such as he is now (though I shall not cease envying him). No, no; anyway the underground life is more advantageous. There, at any rate, one can ...
— Mar 26, 2023 05:03AM
MihaElla
is on page 20 of 160
Oh, gentlemen, do you know, perhaps I consider myself an intelligent man, only because all my life I have been able neither to begin nor to finish anything. Granted I am a babbler, a harmless vexatious babbler, like all of us. But what is to be done if the direct and sole vocation of every intelligent man is babble, that is, the intentional pouring of water through a sieve?
— Mar 26, 2023 02:40AM
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Mar 26, 2023 01:51AM
“that one is putting it on, but yet one brings oneself at last to the point of being really offended. All my life I have had an impulse to play such pranks, so that in the end I could not control it in myself. Another time, twice, in fact, I tried hard to be in love. I suffered, too, gentlemen, I assure you. In the depth of my heart there was no faith in my suffering, only a faint stir of mockery, but yet I did suffer, and in the real, orthodox way; I was jealous, beside myself ... and it was all from ENNUI, gentlemen, all from ENNUI; inertia overcame me. You know the direct, legitimate fruit of consciousness is inertia, that is, conscious sitting-with-the-hands-folded. ”
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