Shannon’s Reviews > Eternally Yours > Status Update

Hmm.

"We need that bowler-hat thingy from that James Bond movie," I whispered. "We could just throw it from far away and cut off someone's head."
Both men looked at me silently, then Daisuke went on as if I hadn't spoken. Fine. A girl tries to help.

Holy shit. Did NOT see that coming. Finally ramping things up now, I see.

Ottavio came and sat before me, coldly and silently daring me to protest.
I decided to meditate about being a woman ... the monthly cyclic event that ties us so primally to the earth, and took a fun-filled foray into a memory of how women have dealt with that monthly cyclic event through the ages. Reusable cloths that you have to wash and dry, anyone? Wads of dry moss?
He lasted five minutes.

I turned off the griddle and shoved the heavy platter at Ottavio. "Carry these in for me, willya, Ott? And the ones on top are for you."
I swept past him into the dining room, where almost everyone had gathered. As the swinging door opened again, I heard River laughing and smirked to myself. The pancakes on top had been shaped like a certain part of the male anatomy that seemed synonymous with Ottavio.

"River's brother Ottavio is there."
Anne's surprise changed to astonishment. "Ottavio! Here?"
I nodded. "He already hates me. And he just got here. Usually I have to, you know, talk or something."

No one rubbed it in, no one tsked, no one even looked at me funny. Because they're all so much cooler than I am, right? So much more experienced, both in the ways of the world and the ways of redemption. By not giving me a hard time, they were advancing on their own karmic joyride. So, actually, they should thank me. For giving them so many opportunities to shine.

Awwww yeah. You know this is going to be good.