Shannon’s Reviews > Team Human > Status Update

"No more crazy wenches!" Kristin said, as she always did. Yet somehow the next girl was usually even more insane. "So," she added. "How's your love life? I have reports from a very reliable source that you now have one."
"You mean Lottie," I said.
Our brother is not a reliable source of anything except amazingly terrible farts. And ridiculous gossip, apparently.

"When a guy says 'I'll call you,' it means they're not going to call you. It means they're dumping you."
"What?" Kit said. "I said I was going to call because I was going to call. Why would anyone say that if they weren't going to? That's completely insane! How do humans even function as a society?"

"When a guy assumes a girl wants to have sex with him on the second occasion they meet, we humans generally regard him as an enormous jerk! In fact, that goes for any guy assuming a girl wants to have sex with him anytime before she says, 'Yes, sex sounds terrific!'"
My mood was not improved by the realization that I'd just yelled "Sex sounds terrific" loud enough for everyone within shouting range to hear.

"Underwater Acoustics Handbook? Songs of Poverty and Death? Weird, Anna, very weird. Not seeing a common thread in all these books."
"I am a woman of many interests."
"Or a woman who grabbed whatever books were around to build a fort."

"Have you ever felt kind of ..." She paused. "Detached from the world? As if you didn't fit in, and you weren't interested in what everyone else was interested in? As if you belonged in a whole different world?"
"Everyone feels that way sometimes," I said. "But you eat chocolate until the endorphins kick in, and the crazy thoughts go away."

"So you vampires living forever," I said."You must need a lot of hobbies to keep from going completely mad. My grandma swears by knitting. Do you knit, Francis?"
"I do not," said Francis.
"Ah," I said. "Do you crochet?"

I couldn't see where the head cheerleader Robyn Johnson's hands were, but she was leaning pretty close to Francis, and for a brief moment his facade of beautiful indifference cracked.
I'd never seen anyone look scandalized before. It was kind of hilarious.
Robyn's boyfriend was at another table surrounded by the rest of the football team. All of them wore identical scowls. That was hilarious too.

"Does anyone else think it's a bit ridiculous that he came to lunch when he doesn't eat?" I asked.
"To be fair, neither does half the cheerleading team," Ty said.

"A vampire who wants to go to high school?" I said. "That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."