Daniel’s Reviews > SOS Hotel: Luxury to Die for > Status Update
Daniel
is 59% done
“If we are to project professional appearances, then you’ll need to desist with the amorous expressions you’re wearing.”
“I dunno what you just said, but if you keep talking, imma get hard.”
“He said you’re looking at him all googly eyed.”
“Google what now?” Zee frowned.
“Apologies for my tardiness. I appear to have overslept—Zodiac, extract your tail from around my ankle.”
“Fuck. It wanders.”
— Feb 21, 2025 08:13AM
“I dunno what you just said, but if you keep talking, imma get hard.”
“He said you’re looking at him all googly eyed.”
“Google what now?” Zee frowned.
“Apologies for my tardiness. I appear to have overslept—Zodiac, extract your tail from around my ankle.”
“Fuck. It wanders.”
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Daniel’s Previous Updates
Daniel
is 81% done
“You realize Adam’s list is an itinerary of people he wishes to eat?”
“I know,” Zee huffed. “Same as Santa Claus.”
“Santa Claus doesn’t eat people.”
“Then what the fuck are his claws for?”
“He’s called Claus. He doesn’t have claws.”
“What does he kill people with then?”
“I don’t recall murder being part of the lore.”
“He breaks into people’s homes and leaves them ‘presents.’ The guy’s clearly a psycho.”
— Feb 23, 2025 10:16AM
“I know,” Zee huffed. “Same as Santa Claus.”
“Santa Claus doesn’t eat people.”
“Then what the fuck are his claws for?”
“He’s called Claus. He doesn’t have claws.”
“What does he kill people with then?”
“I don’t recall murder being part of the lore.”
“He breaks into people’s homes and leaves them ‘presents.’ The guy’s clearly a psycho.”
Daniel
is 81% done
#OperationRescueZeeRightTheFuckNow
“Every single person here will give their lives for Zodiac, and for you, General Vex. We know you’re special. We know Daddy Spice is special. And Zee? It goes without saying, he’s one in a million. We’re yours. We’ll follow you to the ends of this world and the end of ours. Use that power wisely. Stop denying it exists.” Ramone winked. “Now let’s go fuck up some SSD agents.”
— Feb 23, 2025 09:33AM
“Every single person here will give their lives for Zodiac, and for you, General Vex. We know you’re special. We know Daddy Spice is special. And Zee? It goes without saying, he’s one in a million. We’re yours. We’ll follow you to the ends of this world and the end of ours. Use that power wisely. Stop denying it exists.” Ramone winked. “Now let’s go fuck up some SSD agents.”
Daniel
is 40% done
“So... warm for this time of year, isn’t it.”
“Is it?”
“Lots of... weather we’re having?”
“Adam, I’m not an idiot. It is becoming clear that this hotel, and you, aren't what you appear to be.”
“Whaaat? We’ve only been open a few weeks. Sure, some odd things have happened, but it was always going to a bit of a struggle—”
“Did you hear the part where I said I wasn’t an idiot?”
“I did hear that part, yes.”
— Feb 19, 2025 09:50AM
“Is it?”
“Lots of... weather we’re having?”
“Adam, I’m not an idiot. It is becoming clear that this hotel, and you, aren't what you appear to be.”
“Whaaat? We’ve only been open a few weeks. Sure, some odd things have happened, but it was always going to a bit of a struggle—”
“Did you hear the part where I said I wasn’t an idiot?”
“I did hear that part, yes.”
Daniel
is 31% done
“It’s a fucking miracle they get along at all,” he continued. “During the long war, demons and vampires annihilated several hundred thousand of each other. They have been enemies for generations.”
But Zee and Victor were different. Weren’t they? “We’ve gotten past the whole enemy thing.”
“Do lions change their spots?”
“I don’t think lions have spots.”
“That’s what they want you to think.”
Wait.
What?
— Feb 19, 2025 09:11AM
But Zee and Victor were different. Weren’t they? “We’ve gotten past the whole enemy thing.”
“Do lions change their spots?”
“I don’t think lions have spots.”
“That’s what they want you to think.”
Wait.
What?
Daniel
is 19% done
“I’m not sure I want you guys to rescue me.”
Zee huffed. “We are pros at this.”
“I don’t think you are. You should let me go.” Was it the lack of a getaway vehicle that had put him off?
“Don’t be silly. We just have to wait until everyone leaves and we can walk right out.”
“Is this a kidnapping?” he asked.
“No, it’s a rescue.” Zee frowned, “Why isn’t he getting it?”
“Maybe we’re doing it wrong?”
— Feb 17, 2025 09:37AM
Zee huffed. “We are pros at this.”
“I don’t think you are. You should let me go.” Was it the lack of a getaway vehicle that had put him off?
“Don’t be silly. We just have to wait until everyone leaves and we can walk right out.”
“Is this a kidnapping?” he asked.
“No, it’s a rescue.” Zee frowned, “Why isn’t he getting it?”
“Maybe we’re doing it wrong?”
