Daniel > Recent Status Updates

Ah, jeez. Should I get him something? I think maybe I should. But what? What on earth did I get for him?

I pulled out my phone and searched up teabag gifts and somehow mistyped it, then got a whole lotta pics and links for porn.

What the hell?

What the hell was teabagging?

Sweet heavens have mercy.

“Christen it? With what?”
“A name, silly.”
“You want me to name the tree?”
“Yes. Look at how cute he is.”
“Uh . . . I don’t know. What did you call your tree?”
He grinned. “Spruce Willis.”
I burst out laughing. “You did not.”
“I swear to you, I did!”
I looked at the tree. “Well, I think it’s actually a conifer.”
Braithe gasped. “Conifer Aniston!”
He gestured to the tree. “Look at how pretty she is!”

I let go of his hand so I could pull off the road. It was no more than an access road, with tall pines on either side. I drove past the no-public-access sign & as we started a steep incline, he shot me a wild look.

“Where are you taking me? That sign said no access. I’ve seen enough Dateline to know how this ends. I have a smile that lights up any room, Colson, so hello, prime candidate for murder.”

I checked my watch. We still had plenty of time. “Okay. I want to show you something on the way back.”

“Oooh.” His eyes lit up with mischief. “Will I like it? Is it fun?” Then he leaned in and whispered, “Would Jesus approve?”

OMG! Ms. Walker never disappoints. Always with the adorable characters and quaint settings. Like wrapping up in the softest, warmest fleece blanket in January.

"You threatened him with your crop.”

“We had an argument & I happened to have my crop in my hand.”

“You waved it at him."

“I’d been riding!” Sovoy said hotly. “If I’d been whoring before class and waved a corset at him, no one would have thought twice about it!”

There was a moment of silence at our table.

“I’m thinking twice about it right now,” Simmon said before bursting into laughter with Wilem.

Once I knew what was bothering me, the greater part of my uneasiness left. Fear tends to come from ignorance. Once I knew what the problem was, it was just a problem, nothing to fear.

• • •

As I’ve mentioned, Tarbean has two main sections: Hillside and Waterside. Waterside was poor. Hillside was rich. Waterside stank. Hillside was clean. Waterside had thieves. Hillside had bankers—I’m sorry, burglars.

“Does that mean we’ve fixed it already? Can it really be that simple?”

“I don’t think we should assume it’ll be simple,” I say. “Especially not for me. I have some pretty big hurdles ahead of me, but I swear to you, I’ll do whatever it takes. I want that future more than anything.”

He smiles so big his dimple shows, and I can’t help but brush my thumb over it. “I do too.”

“Trust me, you don’t need more shame. There’s a part of you deep down inside that’s ashamed enough already. That part of you is hurt & scared and feels abandoned. I want you to think of that inner part of you as a child. So imagine a little boy who feels worthless & weak & alone. How would you address him? Would you beat him up or tell him he’s pathetic or try to make him feel more ashamed than he already is?”

Our society loves to heap shame on people, but studies prove it’s a horrible behavioral motivator. By the time we get to shame, we feel irredeemable. We feel like there’s no point in trying. It’s okay to feel guilt, but shame is different. Guilt says, ‘I did a terrible thing, I hurt the person I love.’ Shame says, ‘I’m a terrible person, I don’t deserve the person I love, and I may as well give up.’”

“How much did you manage to overhear?”

“Most of it, Reshi.” Bast smiled. “I have good ears.”

“That’s good. We don’t have time to backtrack.” He drew a deep breath. “Let’s get back to it then. Brace yourselves, the story takes a turn now. Downward. Darker. Clouds on the horizon.”

Keeps getting better and better ...
that's the sign of a really good book!

Abenthy gave me an appraising look. I’d been waiting for it. It was the look that said, “You don’t sound as young as you look.” I hoped he’d come to grips with it fairly soon. It gets tiresome being spoken to as if you are a child, even if you happen to be one.

He would even sing from time to time. He had a bright, reckless tenor that was always wandering off, looking for notes in the wrong places. More often than not he stopped and laughed at himself when it happened. He was a good man, and there was no conceit in him.

“Is that why you never sleep?”

“Only partly.” He tries to force a smile. “We’ve found things that help.”

“So what do you do? Play white noise or something?”

“Those staticky things don’t help, but nature sounds do, like birds or crickets. Cicadas are my favorite. Things with voices are good. Sometimes we just leave the TV on with the volume low, or we play music.”

I can so relate ... I hate silence!

Hetera smelled of cinnamon, and at nine years old I found her fascinating without exactly knowing why. She taught me I should never do anything in private that I didn’t want talked about in public, and cautioned me to not talk in my sleep.

And then there was Abenthy, my first real teacher. If not for him, I would never have become the man I am today.

I ask that you not hold it against him. He meant well.

Already doing lots of skimming ...
that's not good. 😒

“How is the water warmer here? Why doesn’t it flow away? How can there be a pool behind the falls?”

“Any more questions?” Garrett pulled him into his arms.

“Why have you brought me here? What are you planning? Do you have lube?” Garrett laughed.
...

“Cold?”

“Nope.”

Garrett held up a container of lube.

“Where are the strawberries and champagne?”

Garrett laughed again.

“Are you two boys going to come & tell me what’s been happening while I cook dinner?”

Garrett took Crispin’s hand & pulled him towards the kitchen. “Me. I’m up for the job. It gives us another reason to spend time on this side as you learn about your powers. For now, young Padawan, try & work your magic in here, you must. Terrible, my father’s cooking is.”

“But excellent hearing he has.”

Garrett jolted.

“You kept hurting him in your dream, just like I kept believing Tony in mine. None of that’s happened yet. It was more than a dream, but it’s also not real. You have to stop thinking about how things might have been, or how things were in that reality, & start thinking about here and now. This life, Dylan. Here & now, Jason’s alive, & he’s happy, & he’s still your best friend in the world, right?”

“He is.”