Mike > Recent Status Updates

“It was never quite clear to Eleanor why the English thought it was so distinguished to have done nothing for a long time in the same place, but David left her in no doubt that they did.”

“How could I tell him that I didn't write this e-mail, but the world was just a joke, and God was a lonely hermaphrodite who was writing e-mails to strangers in the dark? Who knows?”

“So Nathan threw his hands up in the air like he always did, which meant when I die just throw me in the backyard and let the raccoons have me.”

Some of the people in the mural have disabilities. But they're your basic generic-looking crips—one white guy in a manual wheelchair, a black guy with a white cane and black sunglasses, and a white woman signing to her friend. The Big Three.

“Right, right. The spina bifida Michael Jackson.”

“Right.”

Yeah, I know Michael Jackson,” I say. “Not the 'Billie Jean' Michael Jackson—"

“Right, right. The spina bifida Michael Jackson.”

“Right.”

“ Dissatisfaction with my work makes me feel more employed.”

These sentences are pretty.