Telthor > Recent Status Updates

She wants to lick his lips? We’ve exchanged about fifteen minutes of words, if that. Um.

“I don’t like coffee”
(Paraphrase) “You’re a terrible human”
(Quote) “That was a joke.”

How is that a joke????

I guess the fact that she had an espresso maker should have clued me in, but dude pulling out a phone caught me off guard.

She wrote a regular book and copy pasted in a few dragons, didn’t she.

Someone who can coo over a dog and give it ear scritches isn’t exactly going to be a good dog trainer too, dude

Do people ever really feel like that? Gooey and wanting to touch within thirty seconds of seeing someone hot? Maybe I’m too ace for cozies hahah

30 minutes in and he’s seen the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.

Is 30 minutes enough for a dnf, or am I just grumpy.

Holy tell don’t show, batman.

This may be why I don’t read cozies.

aww man i didn't know they owned twitch too

i know i know i know i need to stop using goodreads, but. I just can't get into storygraph. The personal reading charts are cool but it's not what I use the site for.

The art style caught my eye, I'm eager to have a flip through. Feels reminiscent of the Secret of Kells Tomm Moore style, at a glance.

Man, I adore the dark thick lines this has, the weight of the drawings. It's such a killer style.

Nice as the audiobook is, I realize there's still 2 hours left in it--while there's only about 40 pages left in the book. Um. I can finish in about half an hour, I think, I don't need the audio anymore.

Ah this is how we’re going to extend the length of the book.

Aladdin did this better hahaha

It’s not a you lied to me plot but it’s on the verge. I’m not entirely sure why this is an issue.

No one can change after 600 years I guess. I don’t. Think this matters? Maybe I’m just clueless, but this doesn’t seem that important and worth sending him away.

Maybe not have this conversation in front of the scholar

Cute, but isn't this mouse worth millions of dollars? I think if she shows up on your tv show, you're gonna get Demolished by the lab owners.

(I know, who's putting logic in a kid's book)

ARGH

oh gods buried alive tropes oh gods i was not emotionally prepared for this ohhhh no thank you no no no no

The improbabilities of escaping a moose mostly unscathed were silly enough.

Avalanche?!?!? Come onnn.

A child almost died, one has burns all over her wrists, another has scratched up ankles, and you're going to take an infant out into the snow again AS IT'S GETTING LATE.

I retract the good feeling I was starting to have toward you, book.

Oh a twelve year old ain't out running a moose.

There's a lot of book left. We must be narrated by a ghost, after this chapter. That kid is toast.

I'm much happier now that there isn't a toddler being dragged around in the snow.

Still jail for uncle for a thousand years, but he's probably lying frostbitten in a ditch somewhere, so we take those wins.

Yeah but just toss him back in the sword for a second after and No Babies Will Happen. We established this quite clearly earlier. Go wild.

I don't particularly understand how there are 4 hours left in the audiobook. Like, an hour maybe, but 4?? Something bigger is coming, but this feels so conclusive.

Oh, he's so not coming back. Scratch what nice things I said. Child abuse jail for life for old man.

He probably fell down the aforementioned cliff and he's dead somewhere in a ditch.

Well, at least he's picking up the baby and telling them to stop doing acrobatics across open cliffs.

He's still ferociously irresponsible, but maybe he won't get life in prison for child abuse, just a lot of community volunteerism.

He left an infant in a shed in the snow.

Can't wait to see what else zany great uncle gets up to before he gets arrested for child abuse

this is AWFUL.

he's threatening Baxter with the apparent frostbitten death of his near infant sister somewhere in the forest, so these twelve year olds are about to go racing off into the SNOW with no idea what they're about. This isn't survival lessons, this is sadism. What is thiiiis.

They're leaving a near infant in the woods in Montana while they go on a cruise to Aruba, after a moose nearly gored a child and tried to break down a cabin door? Man, some people really should not be parents.

I def don't read a lot of junior fiction, but this feels like someone's trying Way too hard to be quirky. Sigh.

dude stay in the car, a moose will totally gore you

dude stop don't get out of the car