MihaElla > Recent Status Updates

“Dear brother, there’s such sweetness in the heart now, such lightness in the soul ...’ Vasya said, getting to his feet and striding about the room in excitement. ‘Don’t you agree, don’t you agree? Don’t you feel it, too? We’ll live in poverty, of course, but we’ll be happy; and, after all, it’s not a chimera; our happiness isn’t taken from some book or other: we really will be happy! ...”

Well, so you’re not angry?

I told you, I’m not; am I ever angry with anyone? But you hurt me, don’t you see?

Hurt you? In what way?

I came to you as a friend, with a full heart, to pour out my soul to you, to tell you about my happiness ...

But what happiness? Why don’t you tell me? ...

Oh, well - I’m getting married!’ Vasya replied in a vexed tone of voice

When we returned from Nellie’s funeral, Natasha and I went out into the garden.It was a hot,sunny day.A week later they were to set off.Natasha turned a long,strange look upon me.

Vanya, she said, Vanya,it was a dream,you know

What was a dream? I asked

All, all, she answered, everything, all this year. Vanya, why did I destroy your happiness?

And in her eyes I read:
We might have been happy together for ever.

And afterwards when we began reading the Gospel I asked him again why Jesus Christ said ‘Love one another and forgive injuries’ and yet he wouldn’t forgive mother. Then he jumped up and said that mother had told me that, put me out again and told me never to dare come and see him again. And I said that I wouldn’t come and see him again anyhow, and went away…And next day grandfather moved from his lodgings.

A fortnight passed by. Nellie was recovering. She did not develop brain fever but she was seriously ill. She began to get up again on a bright, clear sunny day at the end of April. It was Passion Week.

“Well, that was a madman, but you. . .”

“I’m in my right mind?”

“Yes.”

Prince Valkovsky roared with laughter.

“You’re perfectly right, my dear chap!” he added, with a most insolent expression of face.”

As for that girl, I respect her, I assure you; I like her in fact. She’s a little capricious but ‘there’s no rose without thorn,’ as they used to say fifty years ago, and it was well said too: thorns prick. But that’s alluring and though my Alexey’s a fool, I’ve forgiven him to some extent already for his good taste. In short, I like such young ladies, and I have views of my own, in fact. . . .

Listen, I’m awfully anxious to see Natasha, for there’s a great deal I must talk over with her, and it seems to me that she and I can settle everything together. I keep picturing her to myself now. She must be very clever, serious, truthful, and beautiful. Isn’t she?

Yes.

I was sure of it. Well, if she is like that how could she love a baby like Alyosha? Explain that. I often wonder about it.

strange to say, her face, in which I had seen nothing particularly handsome at first sight, seemed that evening to grow finer & more attractive every minute. This naive combination in her of the child & the thinking woman,this childlike & absolutely genuine thirst for truth and justice,& absolute faith in her impulses — all this lighted up her face with a fine glow of sincerity, giving it a lofty, spiritual beauty

H’m!That girl’s got a head,if she hasn’t guessed quite correctly about the prince,it’s a good thing anyway that she recognized from the first the sort of man she had to deal with,& broke off all relations with him.Bravo,Natalya Nikolaevna! I drink to her health.It’s not only brains,it must have been her heart too,that saved her from being deceived.& her heart didn’t mislead her.Of course her game is lost

The uncared-for clothes, the aggressive, grizzled beard,& the furtive, evasive eye of the new-comer bespoke the professional cadger, the man who would undergo hours of humiliating tale-spinning & rebuff rather than adventure on half a day’s decent work.
For a while the new-comer fixed his eyes straight in front of him in a strenuous, unseeing gaze; then his voice broke out with the insinuating inflection…

“Nellie,” I said, “you’re ill and upset, and I must leave you alone, in tears and distress. My dear! Forgive me, and let me tell you that there’s someone else who has been loved and not forgiven, full of unrequited love, unhappy, insulted and forsaken. She is expecting me. And I feel drawn to her now after your story, so that I can’t bear not to see her at once, this very minute.”

Standing by the table I mechanically opened the books I had brought the day before, for the compilation,& by degrees I became absorbed in them. It often happens to me that I go and open a book to look up something,& go on reading so that I forget everything.

What are you always writing? Elena asked with a timid smile, coming quietly to the table.

All sorts of things, Lenotchka. They give me money for it.

That’s too idealistic, and therefore cruel. You’re demanding of her a strength which perhaps you did not give her at her birth. Do you suppose that she is consenting to this marriage because she wants to be a princess? Why, she’s in love; it’s passion; it’s fate. You expect of her a contempt for public opinion while you bow down before it yourself!

Though I had not walked far that day, I was awfully tired, and I decided to go to bed as early as possible. Tormenting doubts swarmed in my brain. I foresaw that I should have a lot of trouble with this child. But my chief anxiety was about Natasha and her troubles. Altogether, as I remember now, I have rarely been in a mood of such deep dejection as when I fell asleep that unhappy night.

“It’s all right about the proposal,” she announced; “he came out with it at the sixth hole.  I said I must have time to think it over.  I accepted him at the seventh.”

“My dear,” said her mother, “I think a little more maidenly reserve and hesitation would have been advisable, as you’ve known him so short a time.  You might have waited till the ninth hole.”

Là, à l’autre côté de la porte, est un cochon—

Un cochon? Ah, le petit charmant! exclaimed Matilda with enthusiasm

Mais non, pas du tout petit, met pas du tout charmant; un bête féroce—

Une bête, corrected Matilda; a pig is masculine as long as you call it a pig, but if you lose your temper with it and call it a ferocious beast it becomes one of us at once. French is a dreadfully unsexing language.

Pity you weren’t out;we had quite a good day.We found at once,in the pool just below your garden

Did you—kill? asked Amanda

Rather. A fine she-otter.Your husband got rather badly bitten in trying to ‘tail it.’Poor beast,I felt quite sorry for it, it had such a human look in its eyes when it was killed.You’ll call me silly,but do you know who the look reminded me of? My dear woman,what is the matter?

You see, I really have some grounds for supposing that my next incarnation will be in a lower organism.  I shall be an animal of some kind.  On the other hand, I haven’t been a bad sort in my way, so I think I may count on being a nice animal, something elegant and lively, with a love of fun. An otter, perhaps.

😂😂

In capatul culoarului, in fata intrarii, atarna tabloul cu cele doua Frida, un tablou care spunea atat de multe despre ea, in care isi infatisase cele doua fatete ale vietii ei. Isi privi tablolul din bratele lui Diego. Acum, in aceasta clipa, le am pe amandoua. Si iubirea, si pictura. Lucrurile care imi reprezinta sufletul si care mi-au imbogatit viata. Era mai mult decat visase vreodata.

Se uita inca o data in oglinda si vazu o femeie nefericita. De fapt, nici nu mai aducea a femeie. Toate trasaturile feminine se estompasera.
Cu ce avea sa ramana?
[...]
Avea sa ramana cu tablourile. Ele aveau sa fie viata ei. Prin imaginile pictate avea sa isi regaseasca stima de sine. A doua zi avea sa se picteze exact cum arata acum -- o femeie cu parul scurt.

Afara incepu sa se innopteze, iar ea isi descoperi imaginea oglindita in geamul compartimentului. Eu sunt asta? se intreba ingrozita. Aproape ca nu ma recunosc. Ce s-a intamplat cu tineretea mea? Ce s-a intamplat cu lipsa de griji, cu certitudinea, atunci cand m-am casatorit cu Diego, ca viata nu imi va oferi decat dragoste si minunatii? Frida avea din nou senzatia ca deviase de la propriul parcurs.

— Ce mi-a oferit astazi viata? sopti ea. Si isi raspunse de indata: Azi am primit un cadou foarte special. Un viitor plin de promisiuni.
Pentru ca azi cineva mi-a topit inima.

Omul asta vede dincolo de realitate, isi zise deodata Frida.Pare sa vada lumea cu alti ochi si as vrea sa stiu ce vede la mine

Asa sa fiu eu oare? gandi Frida. Puternica si maleabila? Ideea o bucura.Isi daduse imediat seama ca barbatul citea oamenii ca nimeni altul si stia ca infatisarea nu era totul

-Esti frumoasa.Imi amintesti de femeile din Tehuantepec care isi poarta marfa pe cap

Ei bine, atunci eu voi trai prin propriile picturi. Viata e prea frumoasa, prea colorata, pentru a fi doar suportata. Eu vreau sa o savurez, vreau sa simt bucuria si dragostea!

Our ancestors used to teach their children nothing that could be learned while lying down. But neither the new system nor the old teaches or nourishes virtue.For what good does it do us to guide a horse and control his speed with the curb,and then find that our own passions,utterly uncurbed, bolt with us? Or to beat many opponents in wrestling or boxing,and then to find that we ourselves are beaten by anger?

But if you are a real master of your profession, measure me the mind of man! Tell me how great it is, or how puny! You know what a straight line is; but how does it benefit you if you do not know what is straight in this life of ours?

Returning home, I undressed at once and went to bed. My room was as dark and damp as a cellar. Many strange thoughts and sensations were hovering in my mind, and it was long before I could get to sleep.
But how one man must have been laughing at us that moment as he fell asleep in his comfortable bed — that is, if he thought us worth laughing at! Probably he didn’t.

How clever he is, Ivan Petrovitch, if only you knew! He has read everything; he knows everything; you’ve only to look at him once and he knows all your thoughts as though they were his own. That’s no doubt why he has been called a Jesuit.

Liberty cannot be bought. […] You must give this good to yourself, and seek it from yourself.