MihaElla > Recent Status Updates

- Nu plang, ii spuse ea la ureche, gandindu-se ca iata, tocmai acum sa lasa infranta in felul acesta. Asaf atinse cu degetul o lacrima care se prelingea pe obrazul ei.

- Nu, nu, zambi ea cu ochi umezi, refuzand sa se predea -- sunt doar putin, nu stiu, alergica la tristete.

Asaf isi gusta degetul
- Asta este o lacrima...

- De ce am nevoie? Tamar nu isi mai putea ascunde zambetul. Isi acoperi capul cu patura pentru a nu fi vazuta de nimeni.

- Ai nevoie de un barbat cu mana mare, datu Lea verdictul, stii de ce?

- De ce? Stia ca acum ii va face portretul.

- Un barbat care sta cu o mana ridicata, puternica si cu degetele rasfirate, stii cum sta Statuia Libertatii?

Once he baked a hedgehog in clay. He said that the gypsies saw this as a feast. It tasted strange, but not necessarily bad. I would have liked it more if I didn't know it was a hedgehog. Once, when I was a soldier, I ate a cat without knowing it. It tasted fantastic..

After living for four days only on green plums, I fainted. My stomach felt like a hot iron..

daca un om, nu contează cine, se decide sa se intareasca pe sine si sa-si intareasca sufletul trecând printr-o încercare grea, nu contează ce; dupa ce totul se va termina, va putea el redeveni același om, cel de dinainte de acea încercare?

Does the past have an expiration date....?

When does the everyday become history?

We shared a common obsession with the past. The difference between us was slight, but fundamental. I remained an outsider everywhere, while he felt equally at home in all times. I knocked on the doors of various years, but he was already inside, ushering me in and then disappearing.

Cum sa te cunosc altfel decât prin detalii? Cum sa îți spun povestea mea?

…in your books I have drunk fragrant wine, I have sung songs, I have hunted stags and wild boars in the forests, have loved women.... Beauties as ethereal as clouds, created by the magic of your poets and geniuses, have visited me at night, and have whispered in my ears wonderful tales that have set my brain in a whirl.”

“His reading suggested a man swimming in the sea among the wreckage of his ship, and trying to save his life by greedily clutching first at one spar and then at another.”

”The geniuses of all ages and of all lands speak different languages, but the same flame burns in them all. Oh, if you only knew what unearthly happiness my soul feels now from being able to understand them!”

“nothing could be more dreary than drinking good wine and seeing no one.”

”To live anyhow is better than not at all.”

But now I see that an unseen and silent war had raged over the landscape of memory, too, and that it would be stupid of me to go on searching. The time between then and now is like a huge abyss, I can’t go back and there is nothing else for it, I have to go forward, marching somewhere, I don’t know where.

‘It’s strange how you never like being alone, isn’t it, Ernst?’ says Albert.

‘Yes, I reply, it’s just not having any real idea where you fit in.’

He nods. ‘That’s it. But surely we have to fit in somewhere?’

‘Maybe when we find a job, I say.

He shakes his head. ‘No, that’s not the answer either. You need human contact, somebody else, do you know what I mean…?’

There before me is an elderly woman with an anxious and worried face. She has folded her hands, tired, overworked hands with soft and wrinkled skin, the blue veins prominent; hands that got that way for my sake. I never noticed before, there are lots of things that I never noticed before, because I was too young.

So at the moment we've got the two things any soldier needs to keep him happy: good food and rest. It isn't much, when you think about it. A few years go we would really have despised ourselves. Now we are pretty well content. You can get used to anything -- even being in the trenches.

We became tough, suspicious, hardhearted, vengeful and rough — and a good thing too, because they were just the qualities we needed. If they had sent us out into the trenches without this kind of training, then probably most of us would have gone mad. But this way we were prepared for what was waiting for us.
We didn’t break; we adapted.

And yes, that’s it, that is what they think, those hundred thousand Kantoreks. Young men of iron. Young? None of us is more than twenty. But young? Young men? That was a long time ago. We are old now.

‘Shit! Shit! The whole damned thing is a load of shit!’

We walk on for a long time. Kropp calms down— we know what was wrong, it’s just the strain of being at the front, we all get that way from time to time.

Incidentally, it’s funny how often the miseries of this world are caused by short people— they are so much more quick-tempered and difficult to get on with than tall ones. I have always tried to avoid landing up in companies with commanders who are short — usually they are complete bastards.

There is a strong feeling of restraint in us all, we are all aware of it and it doesn’t have to be spelt out. It could easily have happened that we wouldn’t be sitting on our boxes here today, it was all so damned close. And because of that, everything is new and full of life — the red poppies, the good food, the cigarettes and the summer breeze.

Ce jalnic era sa încerci sa împingi moartea la marginea vieții când ea se afla in chiar miezul lucrurilor.

Pentru prima oara in viața se simțea parte din ceva mai mare decât ea.

Dragoste curata, fără ciudățenii, nunta pe care-a ținut-o minte tot Bucureștiul timp de maximum zece ani. In timpul asta au venit molime, au venit lăcuste, s-au prăpădit oameni, iar pe Dambovita au apărut niște berze negre, care, deși n-au stat mai mult de trei saptamâni, au lăsat in urma lor povesti durabile, spuse si ras-spuse timp de cincizeci de ani.

I observe them. There is undeniably something between them. What makes two people a couple? Longing? Belonging? Suspending a fraction of the pupil during a seemingly meaningless look? All of the above. And most important — feeling at home. Something like homeland.

De ce oamenii repeta in mod compulsiv experiențe distructive, recreand de-a lungul vieții relațiile disfuncționale si situațiile autodistructive care le-au trezit cele mai rele si mai toxice sentimente?

De ce ar vrea Samson sa recreeze, mereu, tocmai cel mai periculos sentiment pe care l-a trăit vreodată, care ii otrăvise viața de la început?

The girl (daughter) was always waiting for him. That anticipation is her most solid memory of the period. Constant hunger. She cannot remember what she did while she waited, but even today she can reawaken that anticipation in herself, the stomach contracting upon hearing his heavy footsteps on the stairs. Apologies for the third person employed here, but the first person is too painful.