Gabrielle > Recent Status Updates

I might be reading too much into the title but I think it's very possible that Susan might have been [REDACTED] in [REDACTED] or by [REDACTED]

Not me getting an idea for a TTRPG character from THIS, of all things 💀💀💀

Do not get excited, Meenu . This is likely gonna happen very slowly lmao.

Her daughter's awake for the first time in days and Renee has gushed about her husband's minor league achievements before she's checked in with Bella about LITERALLY ANYTHING MORE IMPORTANT. Mother of the year.

Edward, while the alleged love of his life is actively being murdered: "Oh no."

“So, go on — Carlisle was swimming to France.”

Objectively funny. No notes.

"The house was timeless, graceful, and probably a hundred years old. It was painted a soft, faded white, three stories tall, rectangular and well proportioned. The windows and doors were either part of the original structure or a perfect restoration."

MEANWHILE the house they used in the movie was this uber sleek, extremely contemporary build with a touch of mid century. Idk why this is so amusing to me.

Is it just me or was the entire meadow chapter giving "Meyer didn't write this book chronologically and this was the first chapter she put to paper"?

Not Edward wrestling with the morals and ethics of dating Bella while sneaking into her room to watch her sleep

Yawn. Barf.

Edward Cullen was the original beige mom

Me for the first 9 chapters: Man this is silly fun. Was I being too harsh with my two star rating? This isn't bad

Me the instant I hit chapter 10: lmao never mind.

"he was removing a light beige leather jacket now; underneath he wore an ivory turtleneck sweater."

GIRL. With that complexion?!???

"I waited for him to say something that made sense." Me @ Stephanie Meyer

"“But I’m tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella.”

It's been a whole three weeks my guy.

Stupid, shiny Volvo owner is actually an iconic line. No notes.

"I was consumed by the mystery Edward presented."

Girl he's just gaslighting you 💀💀💀

LMAO this whole scene is ridiculous. My memory had been clouded by the movie because I do not remember it being this fucken silly lololl

lmao not even stephanie meyer was able to escape the "don't use said as your main dialogue tag" rule of the late 2000s

"His face was turned away, but I thought his cheek appeared lifted, as if he were smiling, too."

This has the same energy as that bit on Friends where Joey insisted he could tell when someone was smiling by looking at the back of their head.

Gnawing on a brick, if anyone even cares

I promise I am enjoying this, but PHM put me in a bit of a rut and I can't seem to find the motivation to pick up any book now.

But once I do pick it up, I'm hooked.

Really enjoying this so far. I need to make more of an effort to read Nghi Vo's other work.

Damn girl, the birds didn't destroy your city chilllll 😭😭😭

Me, every time a woman is described: "this was written in the 80s this was written in the 80s this was written in the 80s"

I'm going to give this a half star of grace because this is a translated work, but boy men really do be writing the same way no matter what language huh

Okay, I gave it an honest try, but I think I'm at my limit.