Jeremy Maddux > Recent Status Updates

'Sibel shoves a dilitium dilator into his mouth, sealing his face. Then she hurls herself as a fury between Khasan’s legs. Her perfect teeth sink into his scrotum. Blood squirts as Sibel forcefully tears off a testicle. She chews, swallows. She pulls down her dress, her breasts throbbing.'

'“Listen, I have to go. I’m in the middle of making a ransom note. I have the mayor’s parakeet.” He closed the door sharply. I went home, to what was left of it anyway. There was no use pursuing answers. I thought I’d be dead by the morning.'

'They would scurry away when the cops and the soldiers showed up, and they were so fast that they were able to scurry into holes and hide.'

So dinosaurs split when the fuzz shows up. Conclusion = Dinosaurs are thug life. THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!

'Then, it was time for water sports. Becoming playful, the emperor pushed several companions into the water. Plus, for nighttime entertainment, he’d arranged for small craft armed with “beaks,” waterline rams, to be rowed about, ramming the boats containing his friends in sea-battle style. Dio says that Caligula personally sailed about doing this.'

Caligula invented bumper boats!?