Status Updates From Should I Stay or Should I G...

Finished! That last section was pretty nice because it once again remembered that some of us might choose to stay. I did. My partner started making significant changes and taking me seriously.

Oh good. There wasn't a wait list at my library so I hopped on Overdrive and checked it back out for a 7 day loan. So, back to where we were on this matter...

Nooooooo ... my digital Kindle library book loan is over and I was only 80% of the way through the book. Listen, I'm supposed to have it until the 14th and that's tomorrow. I borrowed it from a library on East Coast time. What kind of nonsense is using UTC +1 to figure out when to end a loan.

Finally! The chapter I've been waiting for! About what to do with the relationship when the partner is brought to self awareness that they have been problematic and changes are needed.

My library points out that my loan is going to end on Tuesday. Noooooooo, I still have so far to go. I'm at the part about a partner finally doing the work and what it will look like then.

Still good stuff. Not all apply to my partner, but I'm loving the succinct call out of toxic masculinity.

One of the best explanations of trauma bonding I've yet encountered to date.

The part about involving faith leaders in straitening out a wayward partner came in handy, not for myself but for someone else in one of my online respectful relationship support groups who is highly religious and dealing with a wayward partner. I was happy that I could screenshot that section out of my borrowed (from the library) Kindle copy for her.

So I am definitely NOT doing the altar thing, but this book has so far given me really good language to have productive discussions with my partner. I am lucky in that I got a partner who was raised and conditioned one way but wants to be a good partner to me even if that requires being a different way; this wouldn't work with a not gonna grow kind of partner.

Wow! This book is really validating so far. There have been italicized sections that are supposedly fictionalized anecdotes that have really nailed the problems that are going on in my relationship (and then whole chapters that miss the mark of my personal relationship but give me sympathy for those stuck in such kinds). I'm working the prompts and exercises and feeling good about myself, too. I recommend this book!!