Status Updates From Better Than Before: Masteri...

“The amount of effort, time, or decision making required by an action has a huge influence on habit formation. To a truly remarkable extent, we’re more likely to do something if it’s convenient, and less likely if it’s not.”

“When something is too inconvenient, identifying exactly why it feels inconvenient helps to reveal possible solutions. Identify the problem.”

“When we believe that a craving will remain unsatisfied, it may diminish; cravings are more provoked by possibility than by denial”

“For Moderators, the first bite tastes the best, and then their pleasure gradually drops, and they might even stop eating before they’re finished. For Abstainers, however, the desire for each bite is just as strong as for the first bite—or stronger, so they may want seconds, too. In other words, for Abstainers, having something makes them want it more; for Moderators, having something makes them want it less

Abstainer or Moderator?

“Could you eat one square of chocolate every day?” is a good way to distinguish Abstainers from Moderators”

“All Moderators seem to keep a bar of chocolate stashed away to eat one square at a time”

Abstainer - “It would be impossible for me to eat one square of chocolate a day. For the rest of the day, I’d be thinking about that bar of chocolate.”

I’m a moderator.

NO stopping, even for holidays! For good habits

“The fact is, while some habits are almost unbreakable, some habits remain fragile, even after years. We must guard against anything that might weaken a valuable habit. Every added link in the chain strengthens the habit—and any break in the chain marks a potential stopping point”.

“sadly, starting again is often far harder than starting the first time”

Good sleep habits, to help us fall asleep faster: “Don’t watch TV before bedtime,”
“Don’t check your email before bed, it gets you all riled up,”
“Don’t stare into a glowing screen, the light will make you more alert,” and
“Let’s open a window, because cooling the body down helps to prepare for sleep”

Totally me- “I feel anxious about the fact that I haven’t started, I become even more reluctant to start, which just makes me more anxious.”
BUT
“That’s the trap of procrastination, and taking the first step is a way to escape.”
“taking this first step makes taking the second and third steps much easier, because I’ve already started.”

“Small steps can be particularly helpful when we’re trying to do something that seems overwhelming.If I can get myself to take that first small step, I usually find that I can keep going”(me, similar to Kaizen principle)
“However, some people do better when they push themselves more boldly; a big challenge holds their interest and helps them persist. (The Blast Start)

Tomorrow logic. “Now is an unpopular time to take a first step. Won’t things be easier—for some not-quite-specified reason—in the future? I’ll start my new habit after the holidays are over/I’ve settled into my new job/my kids are a little older.”
The truth is that I should just start.
Tomorrow logic wastes time, and also it may allow us to deny that our current actions clash with our intentions.

“The most important step of a habit is the first step. All those old sayings are really true. Well begun is half done. Don’t get it perfect, get it going. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Nothing is more exhausting than the task that’s never started, and strangely, starting is often far harder than continuing.”

TEACHING”Failing to hit a deadline may be plain old procrastination—‘a due date is a suggestion, not a deadline’—or it may be self-sabotage.Instead of doing his best work and being judged, he does it at the last minute.That way, if he does well, he can say,’I’m so brilliant-I do well even when I throw something together,’and if done poorly, he can say,’What do you expect?I did that work in two days

TEACHING- “Provide external accountability. Tell them you expect to see substantial new progress each week. Give them milestones to hit and hold them to it. The more accountable they feel, and the more they believe you expect to see consistent progress, the better they’ll do. ”

TEACHING “Getting rid of evaluation is what appeals to Upholders, because we don’t need much supervision and don’t struggle with deadlines. But very few people are Upholders, many of struggling students are Obligers - they need more accountability, not less. Or else they’re Questioners, who may be thinking, ‘Why do I have to work on this now?’Rebels will do the work in their own time, in their own way”

Me: “Obligers require structures of external accountability to meet expectations. Therefore, when trying to form a habit, they benefit enormously from oversight, deadlines, and consequences, and from the involvement of accountability partners, such as coaches, personal organizers, friends—or, often, their own children. Many Obligers feel a powerful sense of obligation to be good role models.”

“It’s not enough to schedule a habit; we must actually follow that habit. Accountability means that we face consequences for what we’re doing—even if that consequence is merely the fact that someone else is monitoring us.”

“If we believe that someone’s watching, we behave differently”

Give up half way. Too long winded.

In the last couple of hours of listening, she introduced the 4 (personality) tendencies and her essential 7 habits.

I get what her critics have said about her know-it-all tone. Rebels would hate that. Fortunately for me, I am a questioner, I can overlook her "I know better than you" approach. I think she knows how she comes across; that's why she prefaced the book with, "I'm only going to ask you to do one thing."

I sought out this book after recognizing a personal need for a habit renovation. After only listen to the first 90 minutes of this book, I'm already motivated to start making habitual changes to help me work toward what I really want in my life right now.

This isn't resonating with me very well

It's nice reading the beginning of this one which is somewhat of an excerpt from the four tendencies.

really want to finish .... so boring ... send help

Meh

Pretty good so far. However, the author says there are basically four types of people—Upholders, Obligers, Questioners, and Rebels. Upholders will meet outer and inner expectations; rebels do neither. Questioners meet inner expectations but not outer ones; Obligers are the opposite. Most of this book is for non-rebels. Unfortunately, I am a rebel, and am resistant to all expectations. Shit.

Taking another crack at this book for my “Self Improvement Summer.” Let’s see if I can finish it before my library loan ends this time.

Strategy of scheduling: putting time for all habits into the daily and weekly schedule.

Listening to the audiobook.

So far this book is really interesting and insightful. I resonate with each of the four tendencies in different ways, but I most relate to Questioner and Obliger. I look forward to reading and learning more.

SO interesting! Devouring this book so easily and quickly!

It's very good till now.

Did this lady just throw shade at people who try to drink more water??? Other than that weird sidebar the author felt she needed, I'm finding this pretty insightful.