Touchstone Books

“His expression was impassive. Somewhere, I just knew, he must have a slew of illegitimate children, all named Bartholomew.”
― Catherine Lowell, The Madwoman Upstairs

“I tried to compete with my ill-fitting Calvin Klein button-up shirts that I got at Ross and my imitation mini-ish skirts I got from the DEB. If you’re not familiar with DEB, it’s like the trashy stepsister of Forever 21 that takes F21 out for her twenty-first birthday, pumps her full of Jell-O shots, and convinces her to get a bald-eagle tattoo.”
― Grace Helbig, Grace & Style: The Art of Pretending You Have It

“A new adaptation of Jane Eyre came out every year, and every year it was exactly the same. An unknown actress would play Jane, and she was usually prettier than she should have been. A very handsome, very brooding, very 'ooh-la-la' man would play Rochester, and Judi Dench would play everyone else.”
― Catherine Lowell, The Madwoman Upstairs

“I realized that my life of late had consisted of far too much dialogue and not enough exposition. I imagined an angry, bespectacled English teacher slashing his pen through the transcript of my life, wondering how someone could possibly say so much and think so little.”
― Catherine Lowell, The Madwoman Upstairs