Rohini

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Knowing Otherwise...
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Liquid Love: On t...
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Gravity and Grace
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The Madman by Kahlil Gibran
“My friend, I am not what I seem. Seeming is but a garment I wear — a care-woven garment that protects me from thy questionings and thee from my negligence. The "I" in me, my friend, dwells in the house of silence, and therein it shall remain for ever more, unperceived, unapproachable.”
Kahlil Gibran
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The Broken Wings by Kahlil Gibran
“And God said “Love Your Enemy,” and I obeyed him and loved myself.”
Kahlil Gibran
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“The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.”
Kahlil Gibran
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The Gift of the Magi by O. Henry
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Open by Andre Agassi
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Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer
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Killers of the Flower Moon by David Grann
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A Long Way Home by Saroo Brierley
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On Being Included by Sara Ahmed
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The Evidence of Things Not Seen by James Baldwin
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More of Rohini's books…
“The covertly depressed person cannot merely vault over the avoided pain directly into wholeness, as hard as he may try. The only real cure for covert depression is overt depression. Not until the man has stopped running, as David did for a moment that day in my office, or Thomas did when he let himself cry, can he grapple with the pain that has driven his behavior. This is why the “fix” of the compulsive defense never quite works. First, the covertly depressed man must walk through the fire from which he has run. He must allow the pain to surface. Then, he may resolve his hidden depression by learning about self-care and healthy esteem.”
Terrence Real, I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

Hafez
“This sky
Where we live
Is no place to lose your wings
So love, love
Love.”
Hafez, The Gift

“Men's willingness to downplay weakness and pain is so great that it has been named as a factor in their shorter life span. The ten years of difference in longevity between men and women turns out to have little to do with genes. Men wait longer to acknowledge that they are sick, take longer to get help, and once they get treatment do not comply with it as well as women do.”
Terrence Real, I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

“They have learned not to expect their father to attend to them or to be expressive about much of anything. They have come to expect him to be psychologically unavailable. They have also learned that he is not accountable in his emotional absence, that Mother does not have the power either to engage him or to confront him. In other words, Father’s neglect and Mother’s ineffectiveness at countering it teach the boys that, in this family at least, men’s participation is not a responsibility but rather a voluntary and discretionary act. Third, they learn that Mother, and perhaps women in general, need not be taken too seriously. Finally, they learn that not just Mother but the values she manifests in the family—connection, expressivity—are to be devalued and ignored. The subtext message is, “engage in ‘feminine’ values and activities and risk a similar devaluation yourself.” The paradox for the boys is that the only way to connect with their father is to echo his disconnection. Conversely, being too much like Mother threatens further disengagement or perhaps, even active reprisal. In this moment, and thousands of other ordinary moments, these boys are learning to accept psychological neglect, to discount nurture, and to turn the vice of such abandonment into a manly virtue.”
Terrence Real, I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

John Bradshaw
“Healthy shame keeps us grounded. It is a yellow light, warning us of our essential limitations. Healthy shame is the basic metaphysical boundary for human beings. It is the emotional energy that signals us that we are not God—that we will make mistakes, that we need help. Healthy shame gives us permission to be human. Healthy shame is part of every human’s personal power. It allows us to know our limits, and thus to use our energy more effectively. We have better direction when we know our limits. We do not waste ourselves on goals we cannot reach or on things we cannot change. Healthy shame allows our energy to be integrated rather than diffused.”
John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You

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