Matthew Heines

“Wisdom of the Ages: "The Nativity" The Son of God was born in a manger-not surprising, have you seen the prices of hotel rooms in Bethlehem? Oy Vay! Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah Peace!”
― Matthew D. Heines, Deceptions of the Ages: "Mormons" Freemasons and Extraterrestrials

“If Jeb Bush gets elected, I'll know that on my way back from overseas, I entered Biff Tannen's parallel universe.”
― Matthew Heines

“Wisdom of the Ages "The Marshawn" US Army's new main battle tank. Runs over enemies instead of shooting them. Biggest expense: maintaining the dreadlocks hanging off the turret.”
― Matthew Heines

“Wisdom of the Ages: "Being Poor" Of all the crimes committed in America, undoubtedly the most unforgivable.”
― Matthew Heines