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That B&N’s cashier who didn’t believe me!!!

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message 1: by The Crimson Fucker (last edited Feb 25, 2009 02:43AM) (new)

The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Ok a few days ago I was sitting on the front enjoying my book… when a coworker came to me and said: hey Bones, you know about books and shit right? And I’m like: well I know a little about books and a lot about shit… there is brown shit, yellow shit, green shit, bloody shit, diarrhea shit, you know mad shit! what’s your point? And he told me that his girl is a big twilight series fan… and if I didn’t mind could I get him a copy of New Moon in hardcover for her it would be nice… and I’m like sure man I’ll bring you the receipt and you just pay me back =)


So… I went today to B&N and after I finish reading a crappy crappy! Book I went to get his book… I was ashamed of been seen with that book so I decided to go pay really fast and hide that on a bag as quick as possible… when I get to the register I pass the book now… I need to explain something here… I have issues… like seriously I have more issues than time’s magazine… sometimes when dialing with people I don’t know I start imagining that I can hear what they thinking…. Hence my fear of talking out loud around people I don’t know… so anyway that kick in when I passed her the book and for some reason what I hear in her head (wtf?) was: what is such a manly looking gentleman doing buying this piece of crap… and I don’t know what took possession of my mouth right there but I assure y’all it wasn’t me… so I told her is not for me! I felt like I was a 15 year old buying The Pill on her local pharmacy!! She start giggling and said in a really sarcastic voice: sure is not… and proceeded to process my purchase… and that thing that took control over my mouth just wouldn’t shut up! So I said: no, seriously is not for me! Is for a friend!!! And she started laughing and telling me I was such a kind person for buying that book for a friend!!! And all I wanted to do was scream that I don’t read that shit!! I read cool books!!! I wanted to take out my copy of The Dead School and scream something like: this is what I read!!! This is what I read!!! That twilight books is for my friend’s girlfriend not for me!!! But the words wouldn’t come out!! I was standing there feeling horrible for some reason!!! So I paid and walk away!!! But just in case you reading this cashier girl!! Seriously that book is not for me!!!



message 2: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (tomfoolery) So what's your favorite book in the Twilight series so far?


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments IS NOT FOR ME GOD DAMN IT!


Servius  Heiner you mean you didn't even skim a few pages...


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments i didnt!


Servius  Heiner are you sure?


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments i swear for my balls!


message 8: by Malbadeen (new)

Malbadeen Alfonso, that was hilarious!
I do the same conversation in my head thing all the time. A lot of the time I'll say to Sarah "In case you're wondering in my head you just told me blah, blah, blah, blah"
and I've had more than one guy friend ask me to please not "think for him"
but I'm so good at - how could I not.

I've gotta say, I've never let it slip to a stranger though and after your story I think I'll be extra careful not to.


Servius  Heiner ok ok put the knife away I believe you... even though it is contradicting what Montambo has told me ;)


message 10: by karen (new)

karen (karenbrissette) tell me who it was... ill take care of it.


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Ummm now that you say so seth… he trick me!!! He didn’t want to buy it himself so he trick me!!!! Also I went to see grand torino or something like that… wanna hear about it?


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Karen, I don’t know it was a cashier… I was too busy feeling stupid to check on her name tag =(


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Well, is an ok movie… not what I was expecting at all… and I don’t mean that on a bad way…


message 14: by karen (new)

karen (karenbrissette) ill post something in the break room: "fonso dont read new moon, bitches...."

that should do.


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Guahahahahha how many???? And by the way the movie is terribly racist….


message 16: by karen (new)

karen (karenbrissette) its racist, but its these hilariously antiquated racial terms...


message 17: by Greg (new)

Greg those cashiers are intimidating at the store, but next time don't worry what they are thinking, the judgmental literary snobs are all up on the fourth floor.


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Dude I fucking love dark angel! And wasn’t James Cameron marriage at the time with the lesbians??? Maybe she influenced the poor dude… still dark angel is a kick ass show and Jessica alba is HOT beyond believe in it… I still wish that all hot girls like her had some feline DNA that makes en horny and jump stupid fast food people from time to time… =)


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments sure, why not?


message 20: by [deleted user] (new)

Finish your joke, Seth!


message 21: by Lori (new)

Lori Hey, I wouldn't have offered to buy anyone that book Twilight to begin with, dude, so I wouldn't have gotten laughed at by the cashier - you did a good deed.

Actually I probably would have - I'm now mature enough not to give a shit about what any cashier at B&N thinks of me. This is what you shall aspire to.

But Karen's got you covered and that bitch won't hear the end of it.


message 22: by Daniel (new)

Daniel Did you turn your nuts in at the B&N counter? Just checking we wouldn't want to get any testosterone on your blouse Shirley.


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