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God, I'm such an idiot.


I couldn't help it. I turned to face him. Of course. He was looking at me. Making his way over.
My legs froze in place. I don't think I could move if my life depended on it. I began to panic, and I think he could tell, because he just smiled bigger at me, trying to reassure me and scaring me beyond belief.
Oh Lord...

But then again, even if I wanted to tell him, I probably couldn't, because I didn't think that my mouth was even working.

How it terrified me.


One day that alarm is going to die for all the pain it's caused me. Making me wake up at crazy hours in the morning to go to a school that makes me start at crazy hours of the morning.
I sighed and slipped my legs out from under the warm comforter. My feet connected with the cold tile, sending a shiver of discomfort up my spine.
Why can't we just have the day off? Or the year? I could handle that.
But no. I stared around at my room- it was bland, with white paint and furniture. The laptop's led was blinking peacefully green as it charged in the corner, and there, just visible from my bed, was the only picture I allowed myself of him.

But still, his brilliant blue eyes, strong jawline, and wind-rumpled brown hair were beginning to emerge, beginning to show themselves.
As I pulled on the jeans and hoodie, I wondered what I would do if I actually had a chance with him.
As I pulled on the jeans and hoodie, I wondered what I would do if I actually had a chance with him.


I looked down, and finally realized that the bowl was over-flowing and milk was dripping onto the floor.
"Snickers!" The tabby strolled into the room, not a care in the world besides the sweet breakfast I'd just poured him on the kitchen tile.

((Can we give him a name? I'm tired of saying him.))

((Okay......))


Wanna go out 2nite and have some fun? ;) Ill c u in my pants at 8:30.
-Matt-
"What?" I nearly shrieked. I wanted him to notice me, but not like that. I quickly hit the reply button and typed:
Ummm...what?
Thirty seconds later came the reply:
Babe I no u read what i said. Y r u confused? Wasnt last weekend good?
What the hell was he talking about? Last weekend? Could he be...? No, he must be talking to me by mistake. I replied:
I don't know what you're talking about. I'm pretty sure that you're not having this conversation with the person you think you're having it with. Are you sure that you've got the right e-mail address?
I waited a minute, and he didn't respond. Then I felt like kicking myself in the head, because I had just stopped him from talking to me.


I was definitely still asleep. There was no way this could be happening. Why would he just talk to me all of a sudden?
Remember last Sat., we started off at the coffee shop, and then ended up at my place?
Whew! I was surprised by his response, but still glad he was talking to me. I do remember going to a coffee shop on Saturday, but I don't recall seeing Matt there.
I remember the coffee shop, but nothing after that.
I needed to get ready for the day, but I was afraid that if I left the computer, I would snap out of all of this. I closed my eyes and waited for a reply. Two minutes later, I got a reply:
Haha, s'okay. It was fun. Maybe we can meet up @ the coffee shop, and just hang out today. Meet u there in 1 hr. Signing off now
-Matt-
Just in case he wasn't safe, I was going to have to bring Lisa. I signed out of my email and walked to my closet. Since I was going to go meet Matt at the coffee shop, I had a problem. I've liked him for the longest time, and now what was a I going to wear? I pulled on a purple tank-top and a pair of shorts.
I faced so many problems while I was getting ready. Should I wear makeup? Or does he not like girls that wear tons of makeup? How should I put my hair up? What bag should I bring with me? I didn't know what to do with myself. Time idled away, and I finally just rushed everything. I put on
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ummm...yeah.