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Gilmore Girls Discussions > Your favorite lines from "Gilmore Girls"

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message 1: by Beth (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:09PM) (new)

Beth | 173 comments Here's a fertile topic for our group: What are some of your favorite lines from "Gilmore Girls"? I'll start us off with one of my faves.

From Season Five, "The Party's Over", when Lane is talking with Kyon, the Korean exchange student:

Lane:(sets down plate of fries): There.
Kyon: What's this?
Lane: Fries.
Kyon: But Mrs. Kim, she say that fries are the devil's starchy fingers.

message 2: by Beth (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:09PM) (new)

Beth | 173 comments Here's another goodie, from Season Three's "A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving", when Sookie and Jackson are frying a turkey at their house:

Lorelai: What's that?
Sookie: That is a vat of boiling oil.
Lorelai: Really? Where's Quasimodo?
Sookie: This is not a joking matter.
Rory: What is the oil for?
Lorelai: For pouring on Visigoths.
Sookie: Lorelai!!
Lorelai: When else am I gonna get to use my Visigoth material?

message 3: by Alison, the guru of grace (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:09PM) (new)

Alison | 1282 comments Mod
Where am I going to find these? I wasn't writing them down! (Note to self: write them down next time). I'll have to get busy looking. There were so many laugh out loud lines...

message 4: by Erica (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:09PM) (new)

Erica Poole | 199 comments Wow, there are way too many good ones, I could spend hours writing them down. But the most meaningful to me was Luke, when he said "I just want to let you know, I am all in." Sigh.

message 5: by Beth (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:09PM) (new)

Beth | 173 comments Try Wikiquote, which is part of Wikipedia. Or, the IMDB page collects a lot of them. As you said earlier, Alison, you can find anything on the Internet.

message 6: by Beth (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:09PM) (new)

Beth | 173 comments Here's another good one, from the episode with the dance marathon:

(Luke won't give out free coffee at the dance marathon)
Taylor: You would knock the crutch out from under Tiny Tim, wouldn't you?
Luke: If he asked for a free cup of coffee, Gimpy's goin' down.

message 7: by Sarah (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:09PM) (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) This isn't verbatim, but you get the general idea.

Lorelai: The fuzzy clock didn't purr on time!

Max: Do you like coffee?
Lorelai: Only with my oxygen.

Luke: She's not here yet.
Lorelai: Okay! Well, you'll have to entertain me 'til she gets here. Ok Burger Boy, DANCE!
Luke: Will you marry me?
Lorelai: What?
Luke: Just looking for something to shut you up.

Lane: You have to look at what a gift says to the other person, not to you. Remember two years ago, I got my mom that perfume?
Rory: Yeah.
Lane: Okay, to me that said, "Hey Mom, you work hard, you deserve something fancy". Now to my mother, it said, "Hey Mom, here's some smelly sex juice, the kind I use to lure boys with", and resulted in me being sent to Bible camp all summer.

Taylor: When standards slip, families flee and in comes the seedy crowd. You got trouble, my friends.
Lorelai: Right here in River City!

message 8: by Alison, the guru of grace (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:09PM) (new)

Alison | 1282 comments Mod
LORELAI: Hey, do you remember the first time we met? … It must have been at Luke’s, right?

LUKE: It was at Luke’s. It was at lunch. It was a very busy day. The place was packed. And this person—

LORELAI: Ooh! Is it me? Is it me?

LUKE: This person comes tearing into the place in a caffeine frenzy.

LORELAI: Ooh! It’s me!

LUKE: I was with a customer. She interrupts me, wild-eyed, begging for coffee, so I tell her to wait her turn. Then she starts following me around, talking a mile a minute, saying God knows what. So finally I turn to her, and I tell her she’s being annoying, sit down, shut up, I’ll get to her when I get to her.

LORELAI: You know, I bet she took that very well, ’cause she sounds just delightful.

LUKE: She asked me what my birthday was. I wouldn’t tell her. She wouldn’t stop talking. I gave in. I told her my birthday. Then she opened up the newspaper to the horoscope page, wrote something down, tore it out, handed it to me.

LORELAI: God! Seriously, you wrote the menu, didn’t you?

LUKE: So I’m looking at this piece of paper in my hand, and under “Scorpio” she had written, “You will meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she’ll go away.” I gave her coffee.

LORELAI: (Smiles.) But she didn’t go away.

LUKE: She told me to hold on to that horoscope, put it in my wallet, and carry it around with me. (Takes the horoscope from his wallet and hands it to Lorelai.) One day it would bring me luck.

LORELAI: Well, man, I will say anything for a cup of coffee. Um… I can’t believe you kept this. You kept this in your wallet? You kept this in your wallet…

LUKE: Eight years.

LORELAI: Eight years…

message 9: by [deleted user] (new)

Okay...I can't remember exactly what episode but, Lorelei and Rory go over to Emily's house and they are cooking out back...Lorelei says to the chef at the BBQ...How's it goin' Pop n Fresh! Love that line!

message 10: by Sarah (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:10PM) (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) Luke: By the way, you do tell people that you're the one that named my toolbox, right?
Lorelai: Toolbox, dirty.
Luke: Oh geez.

Emily: Oh, well, thank you. That’s a pretty color. What is that?
Lorelai: It’s called Vicious Trollop.
Emily: Oh, stop it! Now why would you name a lipstick something like that?
Lorelai: ‘Cause ‘dirty whore’ was taken?
Emily: You frighten me.

Lorelai: Sookie, what are you downloading from Prague?
Sookie: Color samples for the big ceramic stands.
Lorelai: Big ceramic stands for what?
Sookie: For the giant paper mache mushrooms.
Lorelai: What are the paper mache mushrooms for?
Sookie: For the midgets dressed like angels to dance under, silly!

Lorelai: Huh. You know what I just realized? Oy is the funniest word in the entire world.
Rory: Huh.
Lorelai:I mean, think about it. You never hear the word oy and not smile. Impossible. Funny, funny word.
Emily: Oh, dear God.
Lorelai: Poodle is another funny word.
Emily: Please drink your drink, Lorelai.
Lorelai: In fact, if you put oy and poodle together in the same sentence, you'd have a great new catch phrase, you know? Like, oy with the poodles already. So from now on, when the perfect circumstances arise, we will use our favorite new catch phrase.
Rory: Oy with the poodles already.
Lorelai: I'm telling you, it's knocking ‘whatcha talking ‘bout, Willis?' right out of first place.
Emily: Lorelai, for God's sake, be quiet.

message 11: by whichwaydidshego, the sage of sass (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:10PM) (new)

whichwaydidshego | 1996 comments Mod
I haven't read any of this, but hands down it's:
Oi with the poodles already!

message 12: by Sarah (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:10PM) (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) I used to have that as my myspace quote... it may need to make a reappearance...

message 13: by whichwaydidshego, the sage of sass (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:10PM) (new)

whichwaydidshego | 1996 comments Mod
"The devil's starchy fingers" and "visigoths" quotes made me laugh out loud reading them here! Nice!

I think I still have an Elf as my quote on myspace. ("I just like to smile - smiling's my favorite!")

message 14: by Amy (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:10PM) (new)

Amy | 74 comments Sookie: Okay, here we go. Low fat, whole wheat blueberry pancakes.
Michel: Are there 12?
Sookie: 12 what?
Michel: Blueberries. I can only have 12 blueberries for breakfast.
Sookie: Or what?
Michel: What do you mean, or what?
Sookie: What happens if you eat 13 blueberries?
Michel: This is a silly conversation.
Sookie: Would you die?
Michel: Just hand me the plate.
Sookie: Only if you don't count.
Michel: I won't count.
Sookie: Swear. Raise your right hand and say, 'May Destiny's Child break up if I count these blueberries.'
Michel: [raises his hand] ... Pick another group.
Sookie: Nope.
Michel: [slams hand down] I hate you! Hate you!

message 15: by Erica (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:10PM) (new)

Erica Poole | 199 comments Haha! Amy that was a great one, especially in light of developments with Destiny's Child since then! :)

message 16: by Michelle (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:11PM) (new)

Michelle (literarilyspeaking1) One of my favorites, which is currently under my Favorite Quotes on Facebook is:

Emily: I want to go on a date.
Lorelai: With a MAN?!? (gotta love those interrobangs!)
Emily: No, with a weasel. Of course a man!

message 17: by Beth (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:11PM) (new)

Beth | 173 comments I love the one about Destiny's Child!! I had forgotten that one. The look on Michel's face when he says it is priceless.

message 18: by Sarah (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:11PM) (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) One thing I loved about Emily was that, if she and Lorelai had ever really listened to each other, they would have discovered that they had very similar senses of humor and wit. They were much more alike than they ever wanted to admit.

message 19: by whichwaydidshego, the sage of sass (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:11PM) (new)

whichwaydidshego | 1996 comments Mod
HAHAHAHAHA!!! The Michel-Sookie exchange is HYSTERICAL! Thanks Amy!

message 20: by Amy (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:11PM) (new)

Amy | 74 comments To me, the icing on the cake of the show are the secondary characters. Lorelai and Rory are fantastic and have amazing lines, but it's the hilarious exchanges between Sookie and Michel, Luke verbally sparring with Kirk and Taylor, Miss Patty saying something inappropriate, Paris ranting, Lane hiding things from MamaKim that puts this show above and beyond the rest. Makes me want to curl up in my GG DVDs and live in a happy Stars Hollow world!

message 21: by Sarah (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:12PM) (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) I agree, Amy! I love Kirk and Paris and Emily and Sookie and Michel. Not such a fan of Taylor, Babette, or Miss Patty.

message 22: by Amy (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:12PM) (new)

Amy | 74 comments I'm not a big Babette fan, either, but I get a kick out of seeing her run. Taking off like a bat out of hell and clutching her boobs. Hilarious!

message 23: by Jordan (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:13PM) (new)

Jordan (jordieheartsbooks) Kirk has all the best lines. He comes in and has one or two lines and disappears for the rest of the show (or the majority of it anyway). The one that really sticks in my mind is when he's wearing a nice suit and Rory compliments him on it and he says, "Thanks. It's the one my father was buried in." Rory replies, "I'm going to let that one go." Awesome. He makes me laugh until I cry......

message 24: by whichwaydidshego, the sage of sass (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:13PM) (new)

whichwaydidshego | 1996 comments Mod
I'm laughing again... I'm going to have to watch some episodes now!

message 25: by Sarah (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:14PM) (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) Jordan, another fantastic Kirk moment!

message 26: by Jessica (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:14PM) (new)

Jessica | 4 comments so this one's really long but I found it the other day and it cracked me up.

MICHEL: You took so long! Why? You need to charter an airplane?

LORELAI: I came as quickly as I - ow!

MICHEL: Get in here.

LORELAI: What is going on?

MICHEL: Move quicker, please.

[Michel leads Lorelai into the house]

LORELAI: Is Sookie here?

MICHEL: She and the farmer went to see a movie.

LORELAI: Do they know you're here?

MICHEL: Yes, they do.

LORELAI: And they're okay with that?

MICHEL: This way, please.

[Michel pulls Lorelai into a bedroom]

LORELAI: Stop. What's going on? Why are we in the bedroom?

MICHEL: I offered to babysit.

LORELAI: I'm sorry, you did what?

MICHEL: I heard Sookie talking to the potato man about wanting to go out, and there was no one to watch the baby, so I offered to watch it for her.


MICHEL: Him. Watch him for her.

LORELAI: And she let you?

MICHEL: Yes, she let me. So I came over, and the minute that she left, it started to cry.


MICHEL: Him, he started to cry. He wouldn't stop. I did everything. I did the jiggle and the bouncy and the airplane, and then I even picked it up.


MICHEL: Him, dammit, him! I picked him up, but it didn't matter. He wouldn't stop crying. So finally I invented a game.

LORELAI: What kind of game?

MICHEL: I called it baby crepe.

LORELAI: I don't think I know that one.

MICHEL: Well, it's quite ingenious. You get down here on the floor and then you roll him up in a blanket and then you pull it back and forth and back and forth. He loved it. He did not cry, he smiled, he giggled. He was having the time of his life. And then. . .


MICHEL: I pulled back the blanket a little too hard.


MICHEL: And he rolled under the bed.


MICHEL: And he got stuck.

LORELAI: Oh! Oh my God!

MICHEL: I tried to get him out, but I couldn't get him to grab the string, and then he fell asleep, and I worried if I woke him up, the screaming would start again.

LORELAI: I can't believe you rolled little Davey under the bed.

MICHEL: Davey?

LORELAI: Yes, Davey - Sookie's baby.

MICHEL: Is that his name? I've been calling him Truman.


MICHEL: I thought that's what his name was.

LORELAI: Where'd you get Truman from?

MICHEL: I don't know, I heard it wrong, okay? Do you think he's gonna hold this against me?

LORELAI: What, the man that rolled him under the bed? No, I think you're good. Oh, man, he really is sleeping. He looks so peaceful.

MICHEL: See? I made him happy.

LORELAI: We need to lift this bed and get him up.

[Michel starts to unbutton his shirt]

LORELAI: What are you doing?

MICHEL: Taking off my shirt.

LORELAI: Uh, what part of "lift the bed and get him out" translates to you taking off your shirt?

MICHEL: This is an expensive shirt.

LORELAI: No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not lifting the bed with a naked you.

MICHEL: I wasn't going to take off my pants.

LORELAI: Leave the shirt on.

MICHEL: It will wrinkle.

LORELAI: Not as much as it will if Sookie comes home and finds Truman under the bed. Now, uh, lift up here, and I'll get him out.

MICHEL: I can't hold this by myself. Are you crazy?

LORELAI: Okay, you hold that. Are you ready?


message 27: by Beth (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:14PM) (new)

Beth | 173 comments here's another good one:

Emily: You have the word "Juicy" on your rear end.
Lorelai: If I had known you were coming over I would have changed.
Emily: Into what, a brassiere with the word "Tasty" on it?

message 28: by Sarah (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:14PM) (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) Good one, Beth!

message 29: by Jenna (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:15PM) (new)

Jenna (jentobox) | 16 comments Oh, I love Kirk. One of my favorites is in the episode when Lane, Paris, and Rory get drunk from the Founder's day punch at the openning of the Stars Hollow Museum. The next morning morning they are all hung over:

Paris to Kirk: Founder's Day punch?
Kirk: Abba Zabbas

message 30: by Sarah (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:15PM) (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) I love that scene, because Kirk is acting like a 5 year old and Lorelai is his mommy. "No forts!" "Kirk, turn off that TV and get in here and eat your breakfast!"

message 31: by whichwaydidshego, the sage of sass (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:15PM) (new)

whichwaydidshego | 1996 comments Mod
Jessica, that Michel one is so funny. I like the "it" thing!

message 32: by Jessica (last edited Aug 25, 2016 02:17PM) (new)

Jessica | 4 comments i also love that he starts to take off his shirt just to lift the bed. Michel is hilarious!

message 33: by Freya (new)

Freya | 19 comments Emily: Richard, you didn’t even notice your own granddaughter isn’t here?
Richard: She’s so quiet she sometimes slips in unnoticed. She should work for the CIA.

(when they didn't notice rory wasn't at a friday night dinner)

message 34: by Freya (new)

Freya | 19 comments This is from the flashback episode when Lorelei is having Rory:
Young Lorelai: Okay, this is a big pain and I'd really like it to go away, please.
Nurse: Just breathe deep, honey.
Young Lorelai: Breathing doesn't help, can I hit you instead?
Nurse: What?
Young Lorelai: Or pinch you really hard, 'cause that might make me feel better.
Nurse: No, you cannot hit me.
Young Lorelai: Can I bite you or pull your hair or use the Epilady on you 'cause I really need to do something.

message 35: by Beth (new)

Beth | 173 comments Good one. Ah, the Epilady....remember that hideous torture device? Why did I ever think that would be preferable to shaving my legs?

message 36: by whichwaydidshego, the sage of sass (new)

whichwaydidshego | 1996 comments Mod
Hahaha! Because you believed the hype, Beth... it will take longer to grow back... the hair will be softer and less of it. Yeah. Right. Just like waxing makes your hair stop growing. Obviously they didn't do any testing on Scandinavians.

message 37: by Freya (new)

Freya | 19 comments Lane's band also says some pretty funny stuff...

Zach: [sings] "A mighty fortress is our God, a bulwark never failing." Dude, what's a bulwark?
Brian: What?
Zach: It says, a bulwark never failing.
Brian: I think it's a wall.
Zach: Then why don't they just say that? Bulwark sounds totally gay.
Brian: I don't think you're supposed to call a hymn gay. It's like a sin or something.
Zach: Whatever, man. I'm not saying bulwark.

Does anyone know thier band's name? I could never find it!

message 38: by Megan (new)

Megan | 118 comments Hep Alien- it comes from ASP pal Helen Pai

message 39: by Freya (new)

Freya | 19 comments Here's a few more:

Logan: Rory, you're special.
Rory: Like "stop-eating-the-paste" special?


Emily: You were on the phone?
Richard: Long distance.
Lorelai: God?
Richard: London.
Lorelai: God lives in London?
Richard: My mother lives in London.
Lorelai: Your mother is God?
Richard: Lorelai...
Lorelai: So, God *is* a woman.
Richard: Lorelai.
Lorelai: *And* a relative. That's so cool. I'm gonna totally ask for favors.
Richard: Make her stop.
Rory: Oh, that I could


Jess's New Girfriend: Hi.
Jess: Hi.
[they kiss]
Jess's New Girfriend: So?
Jess: One sec.
Jess's New Girfriend: Jess!
Jess: Relax!
[closes his book, turns to Luke]
Jess: I'm out!
Rory: Ladies and gentlemen, an entire conversation in one word sentences.
Dean: [walks into Luke's] OK, don't hate me, but I already ate breakfast.
Lorelai: See, nice, full sentences.
Dean: What?
Rory: Don't ruin it.
Dean: OK...

message 40: by Freya (new)

Freya | 19 comments [about Jess' new car]
Luke: He paid you for it, right?
Gypsy: Nothing's free at Gypsy's.
Luke: And he paid cash?
Gypsy: Mostly twenties.
Luke: Did you make sure Andrew Jackson was on the bills, not Alfred E. Newman or someone?
Gypsy: Looked real to me.
Luke: Well, when he took the money out of wherever he had it, did a mask or a gun fall out?
Gypsy: No, but he was carrying it in a canvas bag with a big dollar sign on it.
Luke: Really?
Gypsy: No.
Luke: Good.
Gypsy: Guys are stupid

message 41: by whichwaydidshego, the sage of sass (new)

whichwaydidshego | 1996 comments Mod
OMG Freya! I chocked I laughed so hard on that one! I always totally loved Gypsy. But that seals it! Seriously, I chocked.

I also got a kick out of the "God lives in London" exchange. How much fun must it have been to write that stuff??? Geez. Brilliant.

message 42: by Gwynne (new)

Gwynne | 63 comments My favorite is when Luke and Lorelai are talking about when marriage is a good idea (after Luke gives Lorelai the Hupa(sp?) for her wedding. Luke declares that two people could grow together and make it work as long as you find someone,

Luke: Who doesn't try to change you, dress you, or make you eat french food.

message 43: by Freya (new)

Freya | 19 comments yah! you don't always remember Gypsy... but when you do, it is hilarious!

message 44: by Freya (new)

Freya | 19 comments Here's a few more funny ones:

Rory: Who are the rosary beads for?
Lorelai: They're mine.
Rory: What do you need rosary beads for?
Lorelai: They're cute.
Rory: They're for prayer.
Lorelai: Well, pray they match my blue suit.
Rory: They've just upgraded you to a queen-size bed, jacuzzi tub, junior suite in hell


Rory: [when Paris suddenly appears in front of Rory] God, you're like a pop-up book from hell!

Rory: How am I supposed to get into Harvard if I have no wilderness skills?
Lorelai: I don't know honey. Maybe you'll have to give up your dream of majoring in logging.

Lorelai: Hey, is Jackson in the house? Let me here you say unh.
Jackson: Unh.
Lorelai: A new toy.
Rory: Shameless.


[Rory tells Lane about her first kiss]
Rory: Oh my God, He kissed me.
[Mrs. Kim comes up to the girls]
Mrs. Kim: Who kissed you?
Lane: The Lord, Mama.
Mrs. Kim: Oh, OK then

message 45: by Beth (new)

Beth | 173 comments good one! Mrs Kim rules!

message 46: by Freya (new)

Freya | 19 comments She is hilarious... remember that time when she arranged a tour for the band by having them play at a bunch of churches?

message 47: by Beth (new)

Beth | 173 comments another one, after Lane finally kisses Dave Rygalski, her Christian guitar-playing boyfriend.

(Rory’s pager goes off)
Lorelai: Who’s that?
Rory: It’s Lane. It just says ‘bible kiss bible’.
Lorelai: What does that mean?
Rory: I have no idea. Good band name, though.

(Dave was played by Adam Brody, who went on to play Seth Cohen on "The O.C.", and who now has a place in my personal TV hall of fame, along with Lorelai and Rory.)

message 48: by Freya (new)

Freya | 19 comments hehe funny

message 49: by Arctic (new)

Arctic | 571 comments LMAO at Jessica's quote with Michel and Sookie's baby.

also just added this one to my quotes:
"I'm afraid once your heart is involved, it all comes out in moron."

message 50: by Sarah (new)

Sarah (songgirl7) Gwynne, it's spelled "chuppah." And make sure you get that loogie sound in the back of your throat when you say it... chhhhuppah. :)

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