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Natasha Holme
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Meet the Authors > Lesbian Crush Diaries, by Natasha Holme

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message 1: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Hello,

I'm an avid diary writer and have published a story, in diary format, from 1989-1990. I believe the title says it all (well, minus a few details ...): Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder. I'm honoured that Helena Whitbread, editor of The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister has endorsed my book. You can read the first chunk on Amazon.

I published it at the end of March 2012, so it's all still new and exciting. My aim is to publish more real-life stories from my decades of diary-writing.

Thanks,
Natasha


message 2: by Natasha (last edited Oct 23, 2014 07:54AM) (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Free promotion Tues 19th and Wed 20th June of my book Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder.

Download from Amazon (UK).

I currently have two reviews and would love some more.
Many thanks,
Natasha


message 3: by Elle (new)

Elle (louiselesley) | 7913 comments Have picked it up :)


message 4: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Thank you, Elle. ... That's my diary you've got there ... ;-)


Louise-Lesley (Elle) wrote: "Have picked it up :)"


message 5: by Natasha (last edited Oct 23, 2014 07:54AM) (new)


message 6: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 18537 comments Me too.

It always confuses me when you do the proper link and it doesn't open a new tab. I closed it down then wondered what on earth had happened to Goodreads... I figured it out in the end.


message 7: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Hi Jud,
Hold down the Ctrl key when you click a link and the page will open in a new tab (Different key if you have a Mac, not sure which).
Natasha

Jud (Disney Diva) wrote: "Me too.

It always confuses me when you do the proper link and it doesn't open a new tab. I closed it down then wondered what on earth had happened to Goodreads... I figured it out in the end."



message 8: by Natasha (last edited May 10, 2015 07:06AM) (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Helena Whitbread is the editor of The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister, a wealthy lesbian landowner who lived two hundred years ago. Helena, to whom the lesbian world is indebted, has given my book this generous and exciting five star review on Goodreads:

Helena's review of Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder


message 9: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments I've started work on my second book from my diaries, moving from 1989/90 to 1991, and so far entitled, 'Drug Dealers and Shoplifting: A Diary of a Mis-spent Summer.'


message 10: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments There's a wonderful idea for a website out there that allows authors to upload page 99 of their book ("Open the book to page ninety-nine, and the quality of the whole will be revealed to you." Ford Madox Ford). Visitors to the site read random page 99s and vote 'Yes' I would turn the page, or 'No' I would not turn the page. Here's mine:

page99test.com/read-my-page/1749


message 11: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 18537 comments I've started reading Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder, I was wondering is this an actual diary? or is it fiction?


message 12: by J.S. (new)

J.S. Egan (jsegan) | 115 comments I really hope she changed the names at least. (She was certainly very careful to redact all the place-names.)


message 13: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Jud (Disney Diva) wrote: "I've started reading Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder, I was wondering is this an actual diary? or is it fiction?"

Hi Jud,

This is my diary. It is non-fiction. Everything in it is true.

However, it is very heavily edited to remove vast amounts of unrelated information and to disguise everybody involved. Apart from very minor characters, all names have been changed.

And, as J.S. observed, I have removed identifying place names too. Even pub names, etc, have been amended, though based on their real names as I couldn't resist leaving some clues in there.

I started work on this book in 1996, but as it was such an enormous task I set it down for years on end several times, then finally completed it in 2011.

My need to disguise names and places will become more necessary in my second diary adaptation.

Thank you so much for your interest in my book. I do hope you enjoy it.
Natasha


message 14: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 18537 comments I can understand completely wanting a bit of anonymity in a diary type book like this.

I'm really keen to see how things turn out.


message 15: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 18537 comments I meant to say as well, it's very brave of you to release your diary like this, even if it is anonymous.


message 16: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Jud (Disney Diva) wrote: "it's very brave of you to release your diary like this, even if it is anonymous."

Indeed. ... Will any of the key characters stumble across themselves when sitting down for a read some time? That should beat Facebook for catching up with old friends ... ;-)


message 17: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 18537 comments I wonder what their lives are like now too... Maybe Vicky is a stay at home mum with a husband 3 kids and a minivan!


message 18: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments ... Oh my goodness, Jud, you had me Googling her. ... I've just seen her on Youtube reading lesbian poetry! She looks exactly the same. ...


message 19: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 18537 comments Aw, I'm a little disappointed...

Finished your book now too, I left a wee review but I'm not very good, there's so much more I could say but I don't know how and I don't want to put spoilers in.

It was fascinating reading about your time and struggles at uni (and really weird now chatting to you about it).


message 20: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Hi Jud,

I love your review. How thrilling. Thank you so much for taking the time to do that. Interesting feedback and an inspiration to continue with book no.2.

... I've not come across any discussion as to whether it's dodgy Goodreads etiquette to make the following, tentative, request ... ?? ... I am lacking in Amazon reviews (3 in the US, 4 in the UK). Just if you want to *obviously*, I'd love to see your review on either or both: Amazon US | Amazon UK.

I've been getting a kick out of chatting with a reader about my book/life. Thank you. And yes, weird. Good weird :-)
Natasha


message 21: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 18537 comments Oh, I put it on Amazon UK, but forgot US I'll go copy it over there


message 22: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 18537 comments Oh, I'm Judder on Amazon so maybe you missed my review not realising it was mine!


message 23: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Hi Jud,

Thank you so much for doing this. I did check on Amazon before making my request and there were no new reviews at that point. I think they take a while to process, or Amazon vets them maybe. Your UK one is now showing (Joy!). Your US one is still in the system somewhere, I think.

You're a superstar :-)
Natasha


message 24: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments In 1989/1990, the period in which Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder is set, I wrote my diaries in code. This is what they looked like.


message 25: by Jud (last edited Aug 02, 2012 04:06AM) (new)

Jud (judibud) | 18537 comments Wow!!! your writing is so small! And I'd never remember a code like that never mind work it out to write with in the first place!

I also notice you have some interesting topics on your blog, I shall have to read it a bit more when I get a chance.


message 26: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Jud (Disney Diva) wrote: "Wow!!! your writing is so small! And I'd never remember a code like that never mind work it out to write with in the first place! I also notice you have some interesting topics on your blog."

Thanks for checking out my website, Jud, I really enjoyed putting it together.

I had to write small in my diaries as I was banging out sometimes thousands of words a day. Hundreds at least. Also more secretive when so small. The code's based on the Greek alphabet. I'd learnt that at school, so it wasn't hard. I still write it fluently now.


message 27: by Jud (last edited Aug 02, 2012 06:37AM) (new)

Jud (judibud) | 18537 comments I'm really impressed! I can barely write in English


message 28: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Head's spinning from my latest five-star review on Amazon UK. Gosh:


*******************************
An utterly honest account of bulimia. Novels and biographies about eating disorders so often make the condition appear dramatic, exciting and glamourous. This diary does not. It tells of the repetative daily struggle, the depression, and the gruesome, unglamourous physical effects of the condition. I have never been confronted with such raw frankness when reading about this condition. This is a story that everyone needs to read, so that people understand that this condition is undignified, painful and hellish, not something glamourous or enviable. My sincere congratulations to the author for her bravery in sharing her story which could change many people's lives. I believe that this book has the power to jolt some people out of the addictive cycle, because the reader can't escape the gritty reality on the page. This book has the power to save lives.

I am a lesbian/bisexual myself, so the sexuality part of the diary also appealed to me (as it really resonated with the obsessive crushes I experienced when I first came out). However, if you are not gay or bi this part of the diary may not appeal to you as much. I urge readers who find the lesbian aspect of the diary less captivating to continue reading because the bulimia-related diary entries are, as I said, invaluable reading for people with bulimia whose motivation for recovery is waning.

This book really reminds you why you are 'staying clean' and fighting so hard for recovery.

This book could change your life. I really believe it could. Read it!

*******************************


message 29: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Hi All, Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder is free to download on Amazon today (30th) and tomorrow (31st) at www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B007NZRQAC.




message 30: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder is free until around 8am of 1st Sept (or around midnight tonight in the US).


message 31: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Hi All,
I'm doing my last book promotion on KDP Select (at least for some time). I'm coming off the programme to try out Smashwords. So, Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder will be free to download until Wednesday 19th September.

Download from Amazon UK.
Download from Amazon US.

Please grab a copy.
Thanks,
Natasha


message 32: by Philip (sarah) (new)

Philip (sarah) Willis | 5174 comments Thanks Natasha,just grabbed a copy.


message 33: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Philip (sarah) wrote: "Thanks Natasha,just grabbed a copy."

Glad to hear it ;-) Thanks v, Philip (sarah)


message 35: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Free again today, possibly for the last time ever? ...


message 36: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments I've started working with Helena Whitbread, editor of The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister. Anne Lister was a wealthy landowning lesbian diarist who lived two hundred years ago. Helena and I are compiling a Q&A article for publication, looking at the similarities and differences between Anne's life and journaling and my own. I feel really excited and honoured to be working with such a key figure in the lesbian community.


message 37: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 18537 comments Wow, sounds like a fantastic opportunity


message 38: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Jud (Disney Diva) wrote: "Wow, sounds like a fantastic opportunity"

I'm thrilled, Jud :-) on top of which I get to ask Helena any question I like and learn some really interesting information. Oh yes..


message 39: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments I have just branched out from Kindle, so for anyone (who knows anyone) with a different eReader, Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder is now available in multiple formats from Smashwords.


message 40: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Rainbow Awards Treasure Hunt (** with prizes **)

Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder is one of 243 LGBT ebook and print book prizes in the Rainbow Awards Treasure Hunt created by Elisa Rolle. You can pick one book per day. (Warning: Facebook account required).

For a shot at winning a book, complete a chain made of:
Book title > Word from book title > Definition of word > Book cover > Post number.
(For any book marked 'New' there is no cover or number, so just match Title > Word > Definition.)

Word
List of words

Definition
To each word corresponds a definition. Elisa is using the simple versions of the words: single nouns and unconjugated verbs.
List of definitions

Book cover
Now search for the cover here:
Book covers

Post number
Click on the book's cover. Then click on the 'Rainbow Awards: Current Submissions' link. See what number was assigned to Elisa's post about the book.

And finally, let Elisa know your answer by commenting on her post.

Good luck.
x


message 41: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Until Christmas 'Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia' is down from $2.99 to $0.99 (or UK equivalent) with code BH25G at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view..., for all e-reading devices, including Kindle.


message 42: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments I shall be giving away one copy per month of my book Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia: A Diary on How I Acquired my Eating Disorder, in any digital format. For a chance to win, please leave your reason(s) for wanting to read it in the comments section of my website here.


message 43: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Received a wonderful review from top lesbian book review website, The Lesbrary:
lesbrary.com/2013/02/03/lena-reviews-...

Lesbian Crushes and Bulimia is a year's worth of diary entries that chronicle with terrifying frankness the author, Natasha Holme's, first lesbian crushes and her descent into disordered eating. The stark candor of the account paints a fascinating portrait of a person and a specific time in recent history.

The book, set in 1989, begins with Natasha's summer experience in Germany. While it's not specified, it seems that she's doing some kind of service work with a group of other internationals. She gets along with the rest of her team, and especially Alex, the other British girl in the group. The two bond over their shared experience of intense crushes on former teachers. As the summer goes on the two develop a very close friendship built partially on sexual subtext. They both return home and attempt to continue their close relationship while also trying to define their sexualities.

When Natasha returns to school she explores the gay community while also attempting to figure out her sexual preferences through trial and error. At the same time, her bond with Alex reaches obsessive proportions and when the two start to grow apart, Natasha's obsession turns to her body and physical appearance.

I flew through this book in almost one sitting, an experience I wouldn't necessarily recommend, but at a certain point, it's almost impossible to turn away. There are entries almost every day and as things progress, the author's obsessions become painfully apparent. Her descriptions of interactions with others are usually characterized by interrogation-like questioning about sexuality, physical appearance and judgments of character. They're uncomfortable questions, the gathering of evidence and reassurance. And as things got worse and worse, I read to find out if anyone in this person's world would find a way to break through to her, if anyone would be able to help her. It was almost as if I read to keep her alive.

In 2013, the age of internet journals and pop culture obsessions, and a radically different understanding of eating disorders, homosexuality and adolescence, this is a fascinating book to read. The parallels between this private diary and blogs as confessionals were very apparent and very uncomfortable. I found lots of it really frightening and difficult and for some it's probably very triggering, but at the same time it's an important story. It's a record, both for the author and the rest of us, of how far we've come and how far we still have to go in creating safe and accepting environments.


message 44: by Jud (new)

Jud (judibud) | 18537 comments Fantastic :o)

Congrats!


message 45: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Jud (Disney Diva) wrote: "Fantastic :o)
Congrats!"


Yay :-) Thanks so much, Jud. I was blown away by that!


message 46: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments www.gaydargirls.com, popular lesbian online dating website, invited me to write a series of blog posts for them. They have just published the first one:

Am I gay? ...

... recalling the clueless process I underwent, trying to work out whether I was gay.


message 47: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments For *Memoir* fans, there is now an online library devoted entirely to memoirs, built by Richard von Hippel in the Goodreads Memoir Authors group:
www.memoirsonly.com

My book is featured here:
www.memoirsonly.com/lesbian-crushes-a...


message 48: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments ** Confessions of a teenage stalker ... **

My latest blog post for GaydarGirls, lesbian online dating website:
http://blog.gaydargirls.com/2013/06/c...


message 49: by Bernie (new)

Bernie Morris (berniem) | 164 comments Hello, I am not sure if I should barge in here, but would just like to tell you about a book I have published called 'The Long Weekend' by Ross Lennon. One of his characters was bulimic. Another was bisexual. It's difficult to find the right audience for such a book, but I hope that some of you ladies might be avid readers


message 50: by Natasha (new)

Natasha Holme (natashaholme) | 797 comments Bernadette wrote: "'The Long Weekend' by Ross Lennon. One of his characters was bulimic. Another was bisexual. ..."

Hi Bernadette, if you look above the box where you write a comment, you'll see a link named 'add book/author.' Adding a link to the book you mention should increase the likelihood of people checking it out.


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