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Your Writing (A-H) > Amanda's Writing

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message 1: by Amanda (last edited Jun 14, 2012 01:27PM) (new)

Amanda | 1 comments (Trigger warning, read with caution.)
This is my first poem, actually. Critique would be much appreciated. :)

You’re stuck all alone,
There’s nobody there,
And the tension, it has you pulling out your hair,
Temptation is strong,
And you start to feel weak,
You pick up the razor that’s on top of the sink,
Now you’re pressing the blade on top of your skin,
Darling, did you think you’d be here again?
You’re pressing too hard,
And blood starts to flow,
The room begins spinning,
The world gets too slow,
“This isn’t supposed to happen,”
You say as you fade,
You’re just another life, Taken by the blade.

message 2: by Alice (new)

Alice (cimmerian) It's a sad poem, but beautifully written. I don't know if I'd change begins into starts to (The room begins spinning).. otherwise it's lovely written.

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